Sly Bald Guys Forum
Confidence and Success => Relationships/Dating => Topic started by: tinca-tinca on December 07, 2017, 01:44:46 PM
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New, been lurking for many years.
I started losing my hair in my mid-20s. Went from buzzing my hair to zero grade soon as. I know for me my life has done a 180 since. I'd hoped that as I got older I'd of met women who weren't that put off by it. I'm in my 40s now haven't dated since. Do you have to change your outlook and expectations? I find it quite difficult.
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Are you saying that now that you've started shaving that you're not able to get a date?
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I am only 19 so I dont have so much experience, but I was balding since 17 years and when i noticed that I was balding I shaved my hair very short, and at that time my girlfriend noticed that I am balding and asked me about it, she said that she would liked more if I was not balding but it was not a major problem :) and we break after year and a half not because I was balding but because we go to study in separate towns.
What I can say now is that, yes a lot of girls specially my age do not want a balding guy, but mostly its not because its a turn off, but its because they always feel insecure of what others will think. However that thare are a lot of confident women who do not care of what others think and would love person for what he is, and when I will find one I will not let her go that easly O:O
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Also some time ago I was on a date with a women. She was pretty, intresting, and quite smart :D but she dyed her hair light blue and because of that I refused our second date. That was because I thought what would others think if I would date a women who dyes her hair light blue, but now I think how stupid I was :-[
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@coolbro1998 , one thing as we get older most people get smarter. Women as well as men are less critical of looks .
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Yup, met a gal years ago that I was just nuts about. She was very pretty and a kind , loving person. I ended up rejecting her because she had massive tattoos, mostly hidden, but massive. I know there are a small number of women that LOVE guys with shaved heads, would be great to find one!
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New, been lurking for many years.
I started losing my hair in my mid-20s. Went from buzzing my hair to zero grade soon as. I know for me my life has done a 180 since. I'd hoped that as I got older I'd of met women who weren't that put off by it. I'm in my 40s now haven't dated since. Do you have to change your outlook and expectations? I find it quite difficult.
Tinca tinca, sorry to hear this but I'm not surprised. I've made posts on this site earlier saying how bald guys do have a disadvantage when it comes to dating. These guys call themselves sly or whatever, the truth remains is that women are less attracted to the guy who has no hair, regardless of whether they're confident, smart etc etc. We all like to think that women look beyond just outward appearance and of course they do to some extent, especially as they get older, however the truth remains bald men in general don't have much luck.
I've said this before but I'm still yet to see many bald guys with attractive women. Next time you're out and you see a couple where one guy is bald, look at the woman he's with... she's unlikely to be a looker. She might have a decent body but then not great looking or vice versa. I've seen many ok looking bald guys with slightly bigger women and this of course is because they themselves are the "female bald equivalent" so it makes sense they find each other.
All I can say to you is that I understand. Like you I started losing my hairline in my mid 20s and now at 34 I am totally bald. Even though I am dark skinned and have the face type for a bald look, I know I don't attract as many women as I did in my 20s when I did have enough hair and even when I was around 30 with my buzz cut which actually looked even better than full head of hair. Totally bald just puts women off sadly. I want to think different but we just have to work harder.
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Yeah, I've not been on a date since I was 25. I'd had buzz cuts since I was 20 but when I started receding at 25/26 I went down to the bone with balding clippers and kept it that way, still have a bit of stubble on top. tried wet shaving but didn't really like the feel.
I'd never really had problems getting dates before this. Facially I'm reasonably attractive and people think I'm in my early thirties, I've been a gymaholic since I was 15 and spent my late teens early twenties bodybuilding. I still train now but have come down to 220lbs @ 10% bf and looking to compete in powerlifting and strongman in my weight category.
I think getting knocked back by so many women has killed my self-esteem, I prefer women who are on the bigger side too. I've had to watch all my mates sleeping around and getting married and having families so it's been pretty rough the last 15 years.
PS. I have friends who are bald who have stunning looking girlfriends and wives, but generally they were in relationships before they started losing their hair.
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Sorry dude, yeah I understand how this feels. I feel the same, not really having much luck myself with the women that I want to date and find attractive. Like you, I seemed to have more attention when I had hair and even a buzz cut but now it's the baldness that is a turn off.
I guess it just helps to keep thinking "it only takes one" so you never know.
How do you usually meet women and when you say you keep getting knocked back, you mean rejected? Is this online or when you ask them out on dates etc.?
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Sorry dude, yeah I understand how this feels. I feel the same, not really having much luck myself with the women that I want to date and find attractive. Like you, I seemed to have more attention when I had hair and even a buzz cut but now it's the baldness that is a turn off.
I guess it just helps to keep thinking "it only takes one" so you never know.
How do you usually meet women and when you say you keep getting knocked back, you mean rejected? Is this online or when you ask them out on dates etc.?
Online. Just talk don't want to meet or they ghost me.
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Sorry dude, yeah I understand how this feels. I feel the same, not really having much luck myself with the women that I want to date and find attractive. Like you, I seemed to have more attention when I had hair and even a buzz cut but now it's the baldness that is a turn off.
I guess it just helps to keep thinking "it only takes one" so you never know.
How do you usually meet women and when you say you keep getting knocked back, you mean rejected? Is this online or when you ask them out on dates etc.?
Online. Just talk don't want to meet or they ghost me.
Hey tinca tinca, yeah I know the feeling too, am having the same issue. No mutual interests at all. It's really disheartening. I am certain that if I had even some hair and everything else stayed the same, I would get more responses. I am getting fed up of life and living. Not much point when you have nothing to live for.
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First of all, the man who chase woman is doing it wrong. Definitely the fact that you dont have a date in all this time have nothing to do with your bald head, it is all about your confidence. You have adopted this limiting belief about yourself, that because you have a shaved head no woman would like you. This is stupid and lame, stop crying and go to be the strongest version of yourself.
Iam sorry, brother, but if i say kind words to you now i would not help you at all. Iam saying this with all love and kindness of my heart. We, men, have to focus on us, to society we dont have any intrinsic value, as opposite to woman that have intrinsic value (iam not going into that now). We have to conquer, to build and to grow things to have value. How is your professional life? how is your body, in terms of looks? how is going your spiritual development? how you market yourself out there? just put yourself in the world as a true conqueror, dont fucking indulgence the feminine ego, NEVER CHASE WOMAN. Develop yourself in all those topics, dont consider woman like you are demanding something from them, THEY WANT TO DEMAND SOMETHING FROM US, a man can never demand affection or emotional factors from a woman, when he does, the woman get away from him. This is something that i learned in a very painful way and iam transferring this knowledge to you guys, my bald family. A man is the security port of a woman. Once you become that, you will never have to chase woman, they will chase you. And in fact, we dont need woman, is nice to have sex once in a while, but once this become your goal of life, you are dead.
With love,
JC.
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First of all, the man who chase woman is doing it wrong. Definitely the fact that you dont have a date in all this time have nothing to do with your bald head, it is all about your confidence. You have adopted this limiting belief about yourself, that because you have a shaved head no woman would like you. This is stupid and lame, stop crying and go to be the strongest version of yourself.
Iam sorry, brother, but if i say kind words to you now i would not help you at all. Iam saying this with all love and kindness of my heart. We, men, have to focus on us, to society we dont have any intrinsic value, as opposite to woman that have intrinsic value (iam not going into that now). We have to conquer, to build and to grow things to have value. How is your professional life? how is your body, in terms of looks? how is going your spiritual development? how you market yourself out there? just put yourself in the world as a true conqueror, dont fucking indulgence the feminine ego, NEVER CHASE WOMAN. Develop yourself in all those topics, dont consider woman like you are demanding something from them, THEY WANT TO DEMAND SOMETHING FROM US, a man can never demand affection or emotional factors from a woman, when he does, the woman get away from him. This is something that i learned in a very painful way and iam transferring this knowledge to you guys, my bald family. A man is the security port of a woman. Once you become that, you will never have to chase woman, they will chase you. And in fact, we dont need woman, is nice to have sex once in a while, but once this become your goal of life, you are dead.
With love,
JC.
I see your point and what you're trying to say is something I agree with, however you're missing out one vital point - the baldness. Most women just aren't into it. I used to be a decent looking guy when I had hair but now my shiny bald head is just unattractive. My face hasn't changed but with no hair it just ruins my look now and I've noticed how less women are into me as a result. I get far less attention than I used to, despite the fact that I'm still the same person I was, back when I did have hair.
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First of all, the man who chase woman is doing it wrong. Definitely the fact that you dont have a date in all this time have nothing to do with your bald head, it is all about your confidence. You have adopted this limiting belief about yourself, that because you have a shaved head no woman would like you. This is stupid and lame, stop crying and go to be the strongest version of yourself.
Iam sorry, brother, but if i say kind words to you now i would not help you at all. Iam saying this with all love and kindness of my heart. We, men, have to focus on us, to society we dont have any intrinsic value, as opposite to woman that have intrinsic value (iam not going into that now). We have to conquer, to build and to grow things to have value. How is your professional life? how is your body, in terms of looks? how is going your spiritual development? how you market yourself out there? just put yourself in the world as a true conqueror, dont fucking indulgence the feminine ego, NEVER CHASE WOMAN. Develop yourself in all those topics, dont consider woman like you are demanding something from them, THEY WANT TO DEMAND SOMETHING FROM US, a man can never demand affection or emotional factors from a woman, when he does, the woman get away from him. This is something that i learned in a very painful way and iam transferring this knowledge to you guys, my bald family. A man is the security port of a woman. Once you become that, you will never have to chase woman, they will chase you. And in fact, we dont need woman, is nice to have sex once in a while, but once this become your goal of life, you are dead.
With love,
JC.
I see your point and what you're trying to say is something I agree with, however you're missing out one vital point - the baldness. Most women just aren't into it. I used to be a decent looking guy when I had hair but now my shiny bald head is just unattractive. My face hasn't changed but with no hair it just ruins my look now and I've noticed how less women are into me as a result. I get far less attention than I used to, despite the fact that I'm still the same person I was, back when I did have hair.
This is your limiting belief saying. Woman dont care this much about looks, in fact, a bald guy can even attract more girls than guys with hair, we are different from most of them, we appear to be "more masculine", well, not all of us, but if you can maintain your confidence while being bald, when everyone just expect you to be less confident about yourself, this makes a "bug" on the woman head, they think "there must be something about this guy... he is not like most of the dudes out there". Anyway, i just shaved my head this month, i just dont give a f**k about it, and nothing had changed, i'am still able to go out on dates. In fact, i "declined" a date because i just cant afford to have any distractions right now in my life, and woman is a BIG one, i have a goal and iam going hard on it, i have zero time to meaningless sh*t as modern relationships, in fact, i learned to love a kind of woman that does not not exist anymore, maybe never did, so... this meaningless sex thing is stupid and waste of time to me, but well, to most of men it is nice, so being bald is not something that will end your changes. But being such a crying baby with zero confidence, this will ruin all your chances, because there is nothing that repels woman more than men with no confidence on himself. Woman want security and someone able to provide for her, while being masculine, a fucking man, not a fucking boy that is worried about what people are thinking about them, and a man that is able to give her pleasure on bed, that's it, being bald does not change anything. Sorry about any grammar mistake.
Cheers!
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The fact is, some guys look good with a shaved head, some don't. I think most guys carry it well, but it's just not the look some should sport.
When it comes to women, I think about half really don't care about your hair. Most of the rest don't care for a bald head. There are a select few that absolutely love bald guys. That's the one I would love to find. It would be great when she runs your stubbly head and says you need a shave!
So, at my age, I don't care what anyone thinks of my hairstyle. If the right gal comes along, great. If not, I'll remain happily bald, and keep looking.
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I never had any problem with having a shaved head. I actually just mentioned that I decided to get a hair system, just for the f**k of it, and the only one who was upset, was my ex, who said he loves me with the big beard and shaved heads.
The other issue is that as mentioned, you don't "chase" you, go with the flow.
When you meet the right person, it just happens. I personally can relate to @reddog, I, personally, don't really like tattoos, but, in my circle, it is very hard to find someone who does not have at least one or two. So, I met a guy, he has an entire back plate and one sleave. And... we are smitten with each other. The tattoos are not even a thing, and I barely think about them.
Best of luck!
DD
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WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH!!!! Never ever ever never judge your success at dating by your success at online dating. Online dating is millions, billions, times harder than any other form of dating, you could have the most beautiful mop of hair in the world and it's still loads harder than regular dating. I could go on and on about how anti-online dating I am as a dude, for myself and for other dudes. If you find you're unsuccessful at online dating, try something else. Become active, join running clubs, do tough mudders. Hell, go to dive bars. Join clubs man. Go to church if you're religious.
Peace. We're all in this together.
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WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH!!!! Never ever ever never judge your success at dating by your success at online dating. Online dating is millions, billions, times harder than any other form of dating, you could have the most beautiful mop of hair in the world and it's still loads harder than regular dating. I could go on and on about how anti-online dating I am as a dude, for myself and for other dudes. If you find you're unsuccessful at online dating, try something else. Become active, join running clubs, do tough mudders. Hell, go to dive bars. Join clubs man. Go to church if you're religious.
Peace. We're all in this together.
I will add to this and say, that in my experience, online dating, is not DATING! It's an exercise in mental masturbation. It's 99% fantasy.
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Are you saying that now that you've started shaving that you're not able to get a date?
Tinca tinca, how are you doing? I would like an update on your situation.
Me, I'm having the usual setbacks of being a bald guy. Women simply don't take much notice at all. The only ones that do occasionally are some average looking black girls (who I'm not really into). White girls, asian girls forget it, not interested. The proof is the reality I face every day. Also I've done this many times but tried again recently. I have a profile on a dating site currently and occasionally I'll change my pictures to how I looked about 5 years ago, when I had enough hair to make out a buzz cut, basically not bald. No doubt about it, I receive more messages than I do when I have my present pictures up of me as a baldie.
I know you guys are trying to stay positive on this forum and even my own screen name wants me to do the same, but you got to face reality to some extent. Bald guys no matter how nice looking your face might be or how tall you are, we're simply at a disadvantage. Just wish more men and women would admit to this.
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I find it very difficult not being able to have a sex life or have relationships to the point where I think I'm going slightly mad because of it.
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It gets easier when YOU accept your own baldness and let it come across in your personality. Quit waiting for women to accept you. Some will, others will not. Those that won't are letting their shallowness show and will most likely not stay with you in the first place. Others will accept your baldness along with all of the other things that they like about you. Be a man and the women will come.
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I find it very difficult not being able to have a sex life or have relationships to the point where I think I'm going slightly mad because of it.
Tinca tinca, well if it helps I'm in exactly the same situation so I know how you feel. It is a hopeless situation when you feel there's nothing more you can do. Sex and relationships is not totally in our control and dependent on another individual's choice and will.
Life is becoming increasingly more difficult as I get older. The loneliness is really painful, especially on the weekends. During the week I think work distracts me enough to get me through it but this is like a disease.
I do genuinely believe that if we weren't bald, more women would pay attention to us. I am a living proof of this. When I was younger and had a buzz cut, I had more attention, women would check me out in public, I had more interest online etc. but now with a totally shiny bald head, I gain very little interest. This as you can imagine is painful. If I was married and/or had a partner, I wouldn't care but as a single man who's still searching for someone, this is a terrible situation to be in.
There is so much hypocrisy, in that many people will say baldness doesn't/shouldn't matter, it's more about your character and attitude. Yet we see baldness made fun of, baldness is not viewed as attractive. Tell me how many tv commercials do you see which showcase bald men? How many slim, beautiful models do you see hooking with bald dudes (and by this I don't mean Jason Statham, Rock etc. I'm talking about every day bald dudes who aren't A-list actors or celebs)??
Let me ask you then, how are these women going to get to know your character and attitude if they don't find you physically attractive to begin with?? Because that's what comes first....sure there are exceptions to this maybe like two people who've been friends for a long time etc. but in general bald men are not highly sought after. It's like saying to a fat chick; don't worry about being fat, men will find your sweet nature and kind heart attractive. How many fat chicks do you see with attractive men? Doesn't happen. How many bald dudes do you see with slim, attractive women? Happens rarely.
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It's not all about looks, you seem to think it is. You don't feel attractive yourself but you want attractive women to like you. Maybe that's fine if you just want to get laid and never develop a meaningful relationship.
I think you need a complete reset here. If you want someone to love, who will love and respect you then you need to change what you value. I'm ugly af, I don't care, I have a wife who loves me for who I am not how I look. And tbh now at 45, bald € bearded, I've had more women hit on me than ever before. They are not size zero models but they are real women.