Level with me?

[forTheRecord]

You all are my comrades. Soldiers. People I feel I have something in common with. Yet every man is different. I would like this community's input on the following short story.

Does this ever happen to you?
You're bald and minding your own business in public. People have passive-aggressive hate-filled conversations about bald guys NEAR where you are located, but JUST out of reach of your personal space, but CLOSE enough to be within earshot. "Don't take it personal," is a common response when I explain what happened to my friends and loved ones. Yet this has happened (I will count) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 or more memorable times, and the conversation had is one of hatred toward bald men. The latest occurred today, and luckily I am of the age where it doesn't make me feel less about myself (or any of you) anymore- it used to. Here's my question for you: Can someone, anyone (bald or not) explain to me what this is all about? Seriously?! What is this accomplishing? You're not going to hurt my feelings... I just want to know the truth. What the heck?! This used to hurt my feelings, but now I just wonder what is WRONG with the person or people spewing hatred? One in every two (50%) of men will have some degree of hair loss by the age of 35, I hear. Growing up, when I wasn't bald, yes, I hoped it would never happen to me. Who does want it to happen... besides maybe certain individuals that look better without hair? The thing is, though, I never found myself feeling the need to have a HATE-FILLED conversation about bald people with one of my friends within earshot of a bald person...

It makes me feel like someone who happened to be bald or balding got the best of this medical assistant. I was minding my own business today waiting for my doctor appointment, and from the safety behind her opened sliding glass window, I sat visibly within 3-5 feet away. I didn't get the entire conversation, but it wasn't anything good. "His hairline was receding so far back!" She was beside herself. Was this person she was talking about even good enough to be human? Did he hit on her? Did he insult her? Did someone else insult her and she just decided to brazenly have this loud conversation about how bald people were subhuman within auditory range of where I was sitting, to feel better about herself? All these questions I had.

You know, the funny thing about this is she is just a medical assistant. No offense to any medical assistants out there, but I thought about going up there and saying look- I bet you a number of things: 1.) As a software developer, I could automate your job and eliminate it, and the robot that ends up replacing you would be smarter and more kind. 2.) People amount to more than the hair on top of their head. For example, I amount to several times what you make, and I do a better job at it, too. 3.) You aren't the picture of perfection, yourself. The sexiest man in the world is bald, his wife is better looking than you, and they have 3 kids. I doubt he would go after you- an average looking medical assistant. 4.) Even if he would, I wouldn't. Personally, I may be bald, but I still get a vote, and you're not hot. Any of my former girlfriends outshine you in looks, personality, and career. I'm sorry, you're just not hot. 5.) I know you're bad at your job because you sent my prescription to the wrong pharmacy when I gave you the exact address and phone number of the correct pharmacy. You would not last 5 minutes at my job, it would crush your mind into a million pieces.

[reddog]

In the nearly 5 years of sporting a shaved head, I have never had anyone make a negative comment about bald heads. I have received complements in public by strangers. Not sure where you live, but the people are quite rude there.

[JohnRa]

In my opinion, going in and attacking her and/or her character based on your own assumptions puts you on the same level of people that you're upset with.

I've only been shaved a short time, but balding for years. There are women that put a lot of emphasis on dating men with hair, but there are also women who like the shaved look. It all starts with physical attraction and if that isn't there then dating isn't going to happen.

We can't control other people. We can only control our reactions to them.

[Tyler]

@JohnRa is on point. Attacking anyone based on assumptions is doing exactly what you say others are doing. It sounded like you didn't hear the whole conversation, so it may not be as hateful as you assume.

I've come to the point where when I hear someone make ignorant statements like you've mentioned that I just think, "someday that person is going to eat their words."  I know this because I've eaten my words when I've made ignorant statements in the past. We all do it until we're educated on the realities.

[Magoo]

JohnRa & Tyler are right. You just have to let other people’s ignorant and sometimes cruel remarks pass on by. We all say stupid statements at times . This is easier said then done , but with practice and understanding it can be learned.

[forTheRecord]

Mind you, I never have reacted. Only after it eats at me and I go online and vent on some forum. I suppose maybe I attract rude comments with how I wear it personally, because it is all I get. Downright cruel, rude, uninspiring treatment since I shaved and let it all go at the ripe old age of about 23. Treatment that would make lesser men turn to violence. I live in Ohio, one of the most benign states in the nation.

I couldn't disagree more with the statement that it puts me on their level to add comments of my own to the discussion- after 12 years of ill-willed treatment. I would hope that other people suffering my plight would have the gall to speak up and say something, but that's just me.

[Magoo]

Sure you can speak up and complain , but to make derogatory remarks back does put you in the same boat as them. Try it see where it gets you , probably only a hashing of words . I doubt you will feel any better for it. But it does sound like your about to explode, not a good way to be. Say something but not in a hostile way.

[Semi-Sly]

 yes I’ve had numerous snarky wisecracks made to  me up by people I didn’t know.  sometimes even from neighbors in the neighborhood.   I don’t see how they think that what they are saying is funny. I just don’t get it.

as far as people doing it one the edge of earshot, I wouldn’t know because I am hearing impaired, Ha Ha! 

[reddog]

Like they say, you can't fix stupid. Or ignorance, I guess.

I went to a carshow last week, and all the guys voted me "the shiniest head". It was all in good humor by friends.

[Nude Nut]

Rarely is my bald head mentioned, if it ever is it’s generally a positive remark thankfully. I don’t think I would care if anyone said anything negative, I like it and that all that matters.