Sly Bald Guys Forum
Confidence and Success => Relationships/Dating => Topic started by: StillStrongSamson on January 01, 2016, 07:56:52 PM
-
Hello everyone,
My name is Jason and I live in the Tampa area. I'm 43 years old and just recently got divorced from my wife of 14 years. It was a long (18 months+) and costly divorce for me and combined with the stresses of work, I lost a lot of my hair. I was already balding but the divorce just exacerbated things. It's been really hard on me and I've had a lot of trouble even finding the motivation to do things. I hate going out because of the way I look, I'm really down about the pattern my hair is in. That's why I came to this site, I see how confident a lot of you guys are with your bald heads and....I guess I just want that feeling again. I've never shaved my head, and to be honest, I'm scared to try. But I'm even more scared of not being able to get back out in the dating scene. I've tried once or twice before but I just messed it up, I was so nervous about my hair, I actually spilled wine on my date (she defeintely never wanted to see me again). I could really use some advice and you guys seem like you have it together, especially when it comes to being sly. thanks for your help as I start my sly journey.
-
During this time of personal change is the perfect time to also change not only how you look, but how you look at yourself.
You've got nothing to lose. You already hate the way your hair looks, and in the very unlikely event that getting rid of it doesn't suit you, it grows back much more quickly than you might imagine.
Give it the 30-day trial. You're likely to surprise yourself.
-
Dude, you have gone single at the best time! Early to mid 40s is the best time. Shave your head, workout a little bit and get into some manly hobby like motorcycles or guns. Be Alpha! Just let your testosterone loose and be a man. Walk with a swagger. Right now, at this age, you are a prize! Think back over your life and count up how many of your friends and acquaintances have passed away. How many were male? Mostly all of them right? Think about it. Men drop dead like flies. The stress of providing and being male brings on heart disease, high blood pressure. Our work places expose us to cancer causing agents. Hell, our jobs (cops, oil field roughnecks, truck drivers, construction, soldiers, armored truck drivers, lumberjacks) kill us. When is the last time you heard of a woman dying at work?
Women will fight over you once they know you are out there. By the time we are in our 40s, there really are not that many of us left. You take out all the ones that have died, the ones that have given in to the fact that they are gay, the ones in the priesthood and how many are left out there?
Just get out there. Let women see that there is a single guy out there and believe me, they will come to you. I milked this for years once I saw how it was. You play your cards right, you will get laid right and left. And you won't have to jump through any hoops for it either. You will hve so much pussy thrown at you you won't believe it. I did not even get laid like this in college.
You go for it.
-
Welcome and good luck to you.
-
I'm going through a divorce right now, and I understand how tough it is. I say give it 30 days and within that time focus on yourself.
-
Jason,
Let me just first say you've come to the right place. This is a forum full of supportive gentlemen. I know what you're saying when you say stress accelerated the hair loss. That's what happened to me. I started thinning in my early 20s but after losing both parents and taking care of the surviving one who was in poor health to start with, my hair really started to disappear. It was so bad in the crown area that I looked like Friar Tuck lol. From there, I buzzed it progressively shorter until I shaved it completely off. Let me tell me that it's one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. I have gotten more attention from the ladies since I've been bald than I ever did with hair. I'm almost 30 years old and plan to stay bald the rest of my life. Shave that head and rock that baldness! You won't regret it! O0
-
Thanks so much guys, I really appreciate the support, your kind words have really helped me!
- Jason
-
If you do decide to go slick, let me tell one look that makes the ladies drool! The Oakleys pushed up on your head. Something about that particular look just makes the girls moist and their panties drop to their ankles!
But it is all about having a confident vibe, I have never been a good looking guy, but I have always been a bit cocky. Not to the point of arrogance, but to where a self confidence is obvious. Work on that.
That is the difference between the "nice guy" who goes home alone after a night at the bar and the guy that gets the girl and you wonder how that is possible.
-
Not all women will drool over a bald guy and not every guy looks fantastic bald. However I do think that people that take control of their hairloss do come over as more attractive in a "this is me" kinda way. The woman isn't sitting there thinking "is he trying to disguise the fact he is losing his hair"..... Everyone has things they are attracted to and not attracted to and being bald won't be for every prospective date but then you could also be too fat, or too thin, or to tall or too short.... sadly when you date you are putting yourself out there and it is about attractiveness when you first meet as that's the first impression. However sometimes someone that you may not be the type of initially starts to find more than your looks attractive too.
If you do shave your head before you throw yourself into the dating scene, you'll be meeting new people that just have never seen you with hair. How they meet you now will be their only measurement of how you look.
If you come across as being yourself and you click with the person you are dating then the bald head probably won't even factor into it.
-
If you do shave your head before you throw yourself into the dating scene, you'll be meeting new people that just have never seen you with hair. How they meet you now will be their only measurement of how you look.
This is quite true. When I was in the Army and promoted to Sergeant, I was put in charge of a squad. This of guy I had palled around with. When I tried to give orders or enforce some discipline I was not taken too seriously. They were too used to knowing me before I was an NCO.
Things got better when I was PCSed to Ft. Bragg. I arrived there as a Sergeant and they knew me as nothing else.
-
Not much to add, my brothers have said it all, "but" the sooner you do it, the sooner you get rid of the worry and you will be surprised how much more confident you will feel...good luck and keep us posted...and put up a photo
-
Hey man I am almost certain I'm about to go through a divorce and I am just completely shocked and beside myself trying to figure this out. But I'll say before I committed to being sly anytime I needed a change or confidence boost I'd shave my head and it'd help quite a bit just feel like I carry myself better and more confident with a shaved head. I see this post is old, hopefully things have gotten better for you
-
Hello everyone,
My name is Jason and I live in the Tampa area. I'm 43 years old and just recently got divorced from my wife of 14 years. It was a long (18 months+) and costly divorce for me and combined with the stresses of work, I lost a lot of my hair. I was already balding but the divorce just exacerbated things. It's been really hard on me and I've had a lot of trouble even finding the motivation to do things. I hate going out because of the way I look.
What you describe sounds like grief to me. And grief is normal. What you are going through right now is not so different than if someone you loved had died. All things look different to you now, your life has meaning but it is not the same meaning that it had when you were married and you may not have found out what the meaning is yet. Give yourself some time to get your feet under you before you go out looking for new women, I also recommend staying away, as much as possible, from intoxicants. When a man is in this situation it can become too easy to go from having "a beer" with friends to getting trashed and driving your car into someone's living room. You might also consider finding a grief counselor or a grief support group that you can check in with from time to time if, for no other reason, than to understand that your feelings about what happened are not substantially different from the next person's. And don't rush any of this. Grief looks different in every one of us that has to go through it and there is no schedule that tells you when it's over. If you feel like hanging out at home do so but be careful about making isolation a habit. Right now nobody but you knows how bad this feels.
Good luck to you.
-
Jason,
Buddha has given good advice. Grief can result from any loss, not just a death. There is no "timetable" about when your grief over the divorce will end. It's also not good to allow yourself to become isolated. Support groups & counselling (with a therapist who is knowledgeable in grief counselling) can be a big help. There's nothing "unmanly" about getting some help through life's rough patches. Too many men think that they have to go it alone and don't seek out help. Hope this helps.
-
If you do decide to go slick, let me tell one look that makes the ladies drool! The Oakleys pushed up on your head. Something about that particular look just makes the girls moist and their panties drop to their ankles!
But it is all about having a confident vibe, I have never been a good looking guy, but I have always been a bit cocky. Not to the point of arrogance, but to where a self confidence is obvious. Work on that.
That is the difference between the "nice guy" who goes home alone after a night at the bar and the guy that gets the girl and you wonder how that is possible.
To the OP, please don't take advice from this gigantic douche nozzle.
-
The OP hasn't posted back in months.. hope all is well with him
-
Don't feel bad my wife walked on on me after 20 plus years of marriage for a guy that was half her age so I know what it can do for your confidence especially believing in women again. Theb est thing you can do for yourself is take control of your life starting now and do what you feel makes you feel more confident as a man. Be it working out and getting shape, going sly and feeling better about yourself and just getting out there and not being secluded in your home. If you do these things and discipline yourself and first become happy with who you are and realize you are not here on earth to impress anybody that will show your ex what she is going to miss. Women either like confident men or they hate them because they can't control them so either way your good. I spend all my time at the gym and now that I shaved I got some nice compliments from some of the men here that helps improve my self esteem. Trust me, after awhile when your wife see's how confident and self suffcient you've become she will be jealous but tell her..sorry, your loss honey.
-
I know this is an old post, but it's a comment so common I hear it in real life too. This is what I don't understand. More than half of your adult life was spent in a marriage that ultimately failed. I assume that the quality of the marriage poor if it led to divorce, and you mentioned the divorce itself was miserable. It always floors me how common it is for a man to endure something like this, and how their main goal after getting out is to start the cycle all over again with another woman. Why? How many married men are actually happy? 10%? 15%?
My suggestion is focus on yourself. Put your free time towards things that you value and bring you happiness. Instead of getting hooked up with another middle-aged female that undoubtedly has kids you'd need to raise and the hope that she'll let you have a room in your own house (i.e. the mancave) just skip the woman and focus on friends, family, interests, and hobbies. If a woman does come along make sure she compliments your life instead of dominates your life.
As the saying goes: No wife, No strife.
If you're having confidence problems the last thing you should do is pursue a woman who will exploit that weakness.
-
I know this is an old post, but it's a comment so common I hear it in real life too. This is what I don't understand. More than half of your adult life was spent in a marriage that ultimately failed. I assume that the quality of the marriage poor if it led to divorce, and you mentioned the divorce itself was miserable. It always floors me how common it is for a man to endure something like this, and how their main goal after getting out is to start the cycle all over again with another woman. Why? How many married men are actually happy? 10%? 15%?
My suggestion is focus on yourself. Put your free time towards things that you value and bring you happiness. Instead of getting hooked up with another middle-aged female that undoubtedly has kids you'd need to raise and the hope that she'll let you have a room in your own house (i.e. the mancave) just skip the woman and focus on friends, family, interests, and hobbies. If a woman does come along make sure she compliments your life instead of dominates your life.
As the saying goes: No wife, No strife.
If you're having confidence problems the last thing you should do is pursue a woman who will exploit that weakness.
They also say , “ Happy wife , happy life.”
-
My first wife left me for a WOMAN! If I knew she had those tenancies, I wouldn't have married her in the first place. I didn't lose my self confidence because I didn't have a chance with that one. The divorce was long and miserable but it enabled me to eventually marry the woman I've been with for the last 32 years so things seemed to work out. Now if this one takes a hike, I won't marry again.
-
I was married to my first wife for twenty years. I had a messy divorce as well. Luckily, it enabled me to find my wife, who I’ve been married to for five wonderful years. For anyone out there going through this, keep your head up. Things will get better.