Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: Dimiakira on October 15, 2007, 05:48:28 AM
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Hi Guys,
First of, right off the bat, great site. Reading some of your stories is really insperational.
Guys i've been starting to bald at the age of 20. I'm turning 23 soon and its starting to be noticable. I consider myself succesful for my age. Have an excelent job that pays quite good and have worked really hard to get to where i am. I always felt that i had to get where i am the hard way as i am a high school drop out.
When i started getting my bald spots it thought everything was going to be taken from me. I work in a corporate enviroment
For the last 2 years its been really hard to accept my baldness but i think i'm finally starting to accept it. The hardest thing i ever had to do. I want to turn SLy. I just need a push.
Anyway...just a few questions guys before i say goodbye for good to my curly locks.
Im petrified at how i will be percieved as it is a huge image change
1. Was it harder to meet new women then when you had hair? Does it improve your chances or decline it? Or it doesn't matter
2. Does your work life suffer. (Maybe i should do something like Security, Police Army ) LOL
3. Do your friends perceive you differently
4. Does your quality of your life decline.
I made a choice today that this will never ever determine who i am and that i would stop worriying about it. i figure the only thing more unnatractive then a bald man is a insecure bald man. Please give me so hope there is life after baldness.
Any advice will do
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Welcome, Dimiakira, Glad you've joined us. You've certainly come to the right place for support and advice. We've all been there and have experienced the feelings and questions that you have right now. I think you'll discover that how people perceive you will depend on the confidence that you portray. The first few days always seem a little uncomfortable with the nervousness of finding out how people will perceive you. But in the end, the nervouseness is always overblown and less of an issue that we perceive it to be. SLY is very mainstream and does not mean you will have to change jobs or anything. Many of us work in a corporate business environment. I'm a CPA and have not received any negative feedback from either clients or coworkers.
In the end, you need to go with what you really want to do. I believe that SLY and smooth is the best option. And, as we always say, it will grow back if you don't like it. Best of luck.
Rick (SLYinKC)
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1. I have met and accomplished more with women than when I had hair. Since shaving, my success with women has at least doubled. You start forgetting you ever had hair, and realize how much more to life there is than hair. No lie, I have hooked up with girls that gave me no play before, when I had hair. It might have to do with the fact that women percieve me as daring for the cut, plus the boost in confidence I've had since shaving it.
2. Your work life will not suffer at all. If anything, I've noticed I get more respect now from people. A different kind of respect. I mean, take a look around. There are tons of sly dudes in the corporate world. Hairloss is a part of life. Shaving it is the bravest, cleanest, and best looking solution.
3. Most friends didn't tell me anything. Some joked about it a little, just at first. But you might have to put up with the initial joke, then after that it is all back to normal. Trust me, I still got all my friends, all my girl friends, and they still call me just as much to hang out. No difference at all. You need to shave it to realize it.
4. Swear to God, my quality of life has improved. Shaving my head head was a major turning point. Consider it the complete removal of an insecurity.
The rule though, give it 30 days. You might feel a little unsure at first, and might worry here and there. But after that 30 days you will be solid, strong, and sly.
Read all my posts from beginning to end. You will see our thoughts were very similar. And you will see the conversion. Message me with any questions or concerns.
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dude, just go for it. you will be more confident and it will show proffessionally. and with the lay-days. give it 30 days and see how you like it. i would bet you love it.
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I am not even balding and I wouldn't go back to having hair.
1. I am married, so I can't really help with #1 as attempting to meet women would get me into trouble ;D
2. I also work in a corporate environment and have no problems at all. I mean what could be more clean-cut than sly?
3. I got a lot of comments when I first went sly (and my in-laws still nag me to grow hair back) but I just don't care what others think that much to be honest...
4. no. Quite the contrary.
Good luck. Go sly. O0
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Welcome to the site.
You seem like a pretty confident guy, and the questions you ask were similar to what I had, except for the fact I'm married and met my wife when I had semi-coverage up top. Reaction to my choice to give mother nature the finger has been nothing but positive. In fact, I was out with two of the other SBG's, and got a head kiss from a young hottie :@` (well, she was young to me, given the fact I'm 41).
Like SLY inKC, I'm also a CPA and have had nothing but compliments from my new look. The corporate world (like all other walks of life) accepts the bold statement a SLY look makes.
My friends perceive me no differently, I'm still a goof. However, I'm a goof with a much higher level of self confidence.
Quality of life is much higher. I'm less self conscious about my MPB (male pattern baldness) and love going around town without a hat.
Bottom line, there will be an adjustment period ("What have I done?"), but you'll quickly grow to like it.
Cheers,
Schro
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O0 Ahoy, Dimiakira: Welcome to the site. You've found the right place. A year ago SBGs helped me make my own decision to go sly--the first time I used the computer to decide anything of importance. The guys have already given you some great advice. I'll try to address your questions in order. I am happily married, so I cannot say whether going bald will help you play the field, but I CAN say that it rejuvenated my relationship with my wife, who supported the clean, forthright, adult, and bold look from the start. She has not for a moment regretted the loss of what was already not worth keeping. Second, my image as a college professor has been, I think, ENHANCED by the bald look, which can now be found not only all over academe but also in the professions. And, no, you do not as a bald man have to restrict your career to security, the army, etc. where the bare dome is traditional any more. As to the perceptions of others, two points: 1) your perception of YOURSELF is more important than theirs; and 2) from experience, only family and long-time friends may give you--temporarily--grief. Parents do usually dislike the look. As RazorX has suggested, it tells them that you are no longer a kid and that makes THEM feel old. Over all, the quality of my life markedly IMPROVED when I started shaving my head. Anxiety declined; expenditures on pills, sprays, etc., disappeared; the need to believe in an illusion evaporated. But give yourself time. The first couple of weeks are shocking. Time and developing skill with your razor will quickly overcome this. When I had been chrome-domed for eight months and well adjusted, I fell and gashed my head. The wound required 15 stitches to close and I could not shave for ten days. They were truly miserable and made me realize that I had become so identified with the bald look that I could NOT wait to resume it. Every guy is an individual, so you'll have to determine your own time frames. Chico D's words are most apposite. If you did a pole on the site, you'd find that VERY few of the members who have tried head-shaving have abandoned it. I think there was ONE in all of calendar 2006/2007. Let's hear from you, about your decision, and do not let balding blight your young life. All best, Professor Melon
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1. Was it harder to meet new women then when you had hair? Does it improve your chances or decline it? Or it doesn't matter.
Happily married so I can't really speak to this. My wife does like it though.
2. Does your work life suffer. (Maybe i should do something like Security, Police Army ) LOL
I am an administrator for a school system and haven't noticed and negative effects since shedding my hair.
3. Do your friends perceive you differently
They joke around with me more, but that's ok.
4. Does your quality of your life decline.
On the contrary, I think my QoL has gotten better. I am more confident since becoming sly.
Like everyone has said, just do it and give it 30 days. You'll probably like it. If you don't, it's only hair, it will grow back.
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Bro..listen to everyone...it's the truth!
You hate your insufficent hair...THAT'S keepin you down bro! You're life will improve and even be much better!
Chico is your age ...listen to him! He is living LARGER than ever..
Go for it, read up...,shave your head and go life an even better life! O0
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I think all these questions can be summed up with:
A balding man desperately trying to cover it up produces;
1. A lack of respect
2. Difficulty to be taken seriously.
3. A sign of insecurities that could run much deeper.
4. A lifestyle revolving around vanity and hair care. (it sounds silly but it is true)
These factors WILL effect every question you asked. It is not your hair people are interested in, it is YOU.
Letting your hair (or lack thereof) control you is much more obvious to others than you may think.
Honestly, when I see a guy with a comb over I naturally recognize them as insecure and this effects my judgement of the person.
Taking control of the situation is something that commands the opposite reaction.
When you go sly you are essentially saying, "I was loosing my hair like 49875394873 other men, but took control of the situation, done." or "Yeah, I am bald... so?"
Now, which person would you want as your CEO, Friend, love interest, etc.?
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I started going 'thin' on top at about 21/22ish & heres my answers for you (i'm 34 now)
1. Was it harder to meet new women then when you had hair? Does it improve your chances or decline it? Or it doesn't matter I think you dont worry about things as much,before i shaved it (buzzed) i was aware of people looking,after i just felt free
2. Does your work life suffer. (Maybe i should do something like Security, Police Army ) LOL No i dont think so,i work in retail & deal with customers face to face every day,it acceptable these days
3. Do your friends perceive you differently maybe at first you will get the odd comment or poor joke but people just get used to it & it become YOU
4. Does your quality of your life decline.NO WAY...its loads better over the years i have gained so many extra minutes in my life not having to wash/dry/style my hair,it really is the best thing ever
I hope this helps a little,along with all the other replies you will get
Ian
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Okay I know Im still not qualified to really reply to this but I thought I would give it a shot :D
I am 24, I have MPB as well, I started losing my hair when I was 15(receeding though very slowly), at 22 it started to thin, it took me to 23 to buzz it after a year of low confidence and stressing about how much scalp could be seen, etc.
To be honest I was not getting as much attention as I had previously got before my confidence went due to the thinning hair.
After I buzzed it I get checked out alot and this is me being honest, its done my confidence a world of good, I dont worry about my hair getting wet and looking thin, I dont worry about the wind, I dont worry about sweat. Its probably not the look of the buzzed hair that is getting the attention, its probably the fact that Im confident again!
I know I have only buzzed it down to a 3(and keeping it there, for the last 5 months or so) but I like it and so do women, one of my friends gfs is trying to convince him to have his hair like me :*))
I know what Im going to do in the future and that wont be to wear a wig, a combover or get hair sewn into my head - I am going to shave my head, WHY? Because it looks good, but I am still loving the novelty of a buzzed head at the moment.
If you are worried about how you look then consider this.....if you think you will be ugly without hair then you must think you are ugly with, it does suit everyone, I suppose it is all about having the balls to do it.
My recommendation would be just to buzz it down gradually, I cant really tell by your photo but Im guessing your talking about thinning so I would say probably a #0 or a #1 would be ideal. You are right that insecurity attracts nobody. So chin up and good luck with whatever you choose
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dimiakira.....1st of all welcome 2 the sly brotherhood. i can't add much because all the sly brahs have covered this topic perfectly. now..... all ya gotta do is "do the deed" that means get a quality razor like the fusion, mach3, headblade & shave that noggin' smooth. bald is better than balding. anyways.... post up often & do some good research in the headshaving section 2 get some gr8 tips on headshaving. keep us posted 2 your road 2 slyness. O0
WARHAWK O0
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Welcome bro:
1. Was it harder to meet new women then when you had hair? Does it improve your chances or decline it? Or it doesn't matter
I would say 50/50, but if it will better your self image your going to feel more comfortable in your own skin, and women pick up on that.
2. Does your work life suffer. (Maybe i should do something like Security, Police Army )
Heck no, a happy employee is a productive employee. If your job really sucks nothing will change though
3. Do your friends perceive you differently
Hard to say
4. Does your quality of your life decline.
Improved! I went from worrying about how I look, to knowing I look great and not having to worry about anything.
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Welcome Dimiakira. The bro's have answered your direct questions but I want to touch on this one line and I hope this makes sense. Your quote: "i figure the only thing more unnatractive then a bald man is a insecure bald man."
First, there is no such thing as a unattractive bald man! Can I get a amen brothers??
Let me throw this at you, have you ever seen a mother call her newborn baby with no hair unattractive? No, its the most beautiful thing in the world! While I was thinking of this it hit me, maybe there is some maternal instinct in women that makes them more attracted to bald men, think about it.
Second, insecurities can be overcame, you have already made great strides from what I read by your career and being a high school dropout. You can overcome this with ease, you just need to accept you. Hair doesn't make the man!
Your 23, and still have alot to experience. You can make this one of the best experiences of your life, your body is showing you what to do, listen to what its telling you!
Yes guys, I checked and its me at the keyboard... mind boggling isn't it 8)
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Dimiakira, these guys have given you great advice adn there isn't much that I can add. Welcome to Sly Bald Guys! We're here for any more questions that you have.
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My advice is simple: do what makes YOU happy, not what makes society happy as long as it's within the rules. If you believe in yourself others won't care that you don't have hair, but if you act like it's a curse, then you will get the lack of interest from others.
Also as far as work goes, if a company is so shallow to determine hiring practices on the basis of having hair or no hair, that's not a company worth your time.
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Dimiakira, I dont think there is much I can add that hasnt been said.
The hardest part will most likely be the actual act of shaving your head for the first time. It takes practice to get it down to an art but the QoL that you will experience from it will be worth everything.
I promise you that you will wonder why you fretted and worried about anything in the first place.
Welcome to the forum, let us know your progress O0
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All you need to remember is if you don't like it. It will grow back. Take a week or two off work if you are worried. By the time you went back it would have grown back a bit.
But
It is very very liberating to shave your head. You will probably find your confidence will grow.
You will get comments at first.. Some may be derogatory. It is simply a persons reaction to the shock of the change and if you show that it is not a phase people will stop very quickly.
After a while everyone forgets that your even had hair and that then becomes the norm.
Make sure you get a tan asap but only go in the sun for very short periods at first.
At first don't shave just before going out because you will probably cut yourself and it bleeds for ages.
Most important is to hold your head high and show you are happy with yourself and your new look.
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Welcome Dimiakira,
I think you'd rock the sly look. Give it a try! O0
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Hi and Welcome to the Site!
I dont know if there is anything else i can add except that we are very close in age (20/22) and I went through the same feelings as you did. If you read my first few concerns, I was also really concerned about dating, job, what people think, etc.
So to sum up my experience: the first few weeks are the hardest. you have second doubts. you start thinking why the hell did you ever do this. you hear some people say they dont like it. that all comes with the process. than after about two weeks it starts to grow on you (excuse the pun). after you put some color onto your sly noggin you start to really enjoy it.
The girls dig it. not all. For me it has been a great great ice breaker. Some make fun of it nonstop. so what you gotta do it make fun of it along with them. eventually you realize that in truth they like it but they really dont want to say that. Its such a difference for many people that they just dont want to admit the fact that they dig it.
About work: I cant really give my experiences in work but i can give you my experiences at the university level and assistanship level. It has made absolutly no difference as to how people talk to me. The older people give weird looks every now and than but I think that they have their own problems. I have never had a derogotary term come from either the people i assistant for or my professors. In fact, for one professor, he said he remembered my name purely on the fact that he remembered my bald head.
Anyways i rambled on but i hope I added on to what the others said.
Most importantly do what feels right and when it feels right. Dont get bullied into doing it or not doing it.
Its a huge change. you'll know when your ready if your ready.
Let us know what happens!
and once again WELCOME!
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Not much I can add that everyone else here has said, but welcome to the brotherhood. O0
Like Jdog said it'll take a little bit to get the hang of it but once you do and it becomes part of your life the first words out your mouth are going to be "Why the heck did it take me so long to do this"
I was a long hair for ever and when I started getting the MPB I was like if I can't have it all then I don't want any hair, I'm not gonna half a$$ it and look like I'm trying to hide something.
Go for it brother O0
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Welcome Dimiakira,
You wil look good with a shaved head.
If you shaved your head show us a pic so we can give some comments.
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Welcome Dimiakira! You've been given some great advice already, so I'll just add on to Jdog's response in that it does take some time to get used to it, but if you gradually buzz it down over a period of several weeks, then it won't be such a shock to you, your family, or friends once you do go sly. It truly is a liberating experience though and most of my bros on here have never been happier once they do it. You're the only one that can decide if you want to take the plunge or not and believe me, we're not gonna "bully you into it" but we will encourage you, so keep us posted and feel free to ask any questions you might have.
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Welcome Dimiakira, good to have you here.
I am going to echo what all the other bro's have covered so well. O0
I will only add this; on all your questions, do you think by shaving your head it's going to change who you are inside and have been all along? I truly doubt it.
But I do know it will improve on all of it. Give it that shot and you will see.
Take your time shaving and use our 30 day recommendation.
I think you'll know before the time period is up though, and you will find yourself saying;
"why didn't I do this sooner".
Keep us posted on how it goes.
Joe
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SHAVE IT....or you will look like my pic....lol
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I started to loose my hair at 15. I tried the combing the hair forward and waxing the heck out of it to make it look "cool". I then realized that it really did not look good or work. I started with getting my hair cut at the #2 setting on the razor and then no guard. Then I said screw it I am taking it all off. Sure the first day at work is kinda weird and I still get the jokes and will always because thats just the people that I work with and they know I can take the joke and give it back.
I really had no self confidence. I was not shy or nothing but I for sure was not the best pick for anything. I had no confidence so no one had any in me. Once I took the headblade and shaved clean there was a 100% increase in confidence. Maybe a little to much because now I even think I get a little cocky at times. The ladies notice that is for sure. I walk with my head higher then before and I am not afraid to show the shine. People notice that you walk a bit differently. You have an extra bounce in your step.
Well anyway it sure made me feel way better about myself.
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1. Was it harder to meet new women then when you had hair? Does it improve your chances or decline it? Or it doesn't matter
2. Does your work life suffer. (Maybe i should do something like Security, Police Army ) LOL
3. Do your friends perceive you differently
4. Does your quality of your life decline.
1. Yes and no. I've found that there are woman who are just not into shaved heads, on the upside though there are others who go crazy over it. Personally, shaving the dome boosted the confedince level and because of that the woman became more attracted to me.
2. Work life was about the same if not better. I guess a job like police or security would be improved, but I work in healthcare so the only difference is that the old men can relate to me a bit better. The people who go for surgery of their brains usually have to be shaved also, which makes most a little uncomfortable, but upon seeing me I can tell they feel a little more comfortable with the look.
3. Most of your friends will like it and admit it, or will give you sh*t about it because they are jealous they don't have the balls to shave their heads.
4. My quality of life has declined in this one aspect: when I lay on my leather couch my head sticks to it.
Hope this helps you with your decision man. I had stared balding at 20 myself, now 23 also. It's rough, but there is more to life than hair.
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You speak the truth Meathead!
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4. Does your quality of your life decline.
4. My quality of life has declined in this one aspect: when I lay on my leather couch my head sticks to it.
Boy, that sucks; you'd better go back to the balding look. :*))
For me, I just leave grease marks; I don't stick.
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I married also but it doesn't bother my wife at all!
My co-workers didn't say to much, besides that I hear people talking about the guys that walk around with the comb over us sly guys!
Quality of life is great! More confidence!
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The best part of shaving your head is when you finally do it and realize it wasn't as big a deal as you thought it was.
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Hey guy, I'll get right to answering your questions:
1. Was it harder to meet new women then when you had hair? Does it improve your chances or decline it?
The personal answer is that I've had the best girlfriends (best looking, nicest, etc) when I went shorter. I once told a hairstylist I wanted a "1 guard" without knowing what that was. I've a big ol' watermelon head and it irked me something fierce. Two weeks later I was dating a gal that was amazing, and 6' to boot (I'm 6'8'').
Does it improve your chances? Honestly, some women don't like bald guys. Some do. Some like guys that wear Gap. Others like Hot Topic. So some women just won't like that you're bald. Some won't care. The kind of women I date usually cared more about my perspective. I lost TONS of great women because of my own insecurities. Not to generalize, but the women I've dated were attracted to confidence. And I come off as extremely confident. All women are different, of course, and by all means equal to men, but they're generally more forgiving about asthetics if the guy is happy with his appearance.
2. Does your work life suffer. (Maybe i should do something like Security, Police Army ) 'm newly sly, but I can tell you that being 6'8'' opens major doors for me. And being focused does as well. Vanity, insecurity, instability, all going to cost you in the professional world. For the most part, if you're happy with yourself then you're focused on other things. And it shows. Trust me there.
3. Do your friends perceive you differently
Those who have seen me couldn't care less. They made cracks, but I have my own arsenal. One wanted to rub my head for good luck (female, so I didn't mind really). I think the change is surprising, and they may make hair jokes down the road, but of my friends, I'm the most successful and the only one not married. Friends give each other sh*t no matter what. If they turn on you because of your dome, you're better off without them. What is this, Zoolander?
4. Does your quality of your life decline.
Only been a day, but quality of life is all perspective. I'm happier sly, and I'm not likely to attribute everything to my hair. I don't think about it as much. It's a surprise to run my hand over my shaven head, but what's the biggest fear of a balding person? Further balding? No. It's being noticed as balding. Hell I'm bald. Whatcha gonna do about it? So I have more time, I don't care if someone walks behind me and sees my crown, I don't care. I'm good to go.
You have the answers man. And you seem to be ready for it. The jokes are good, but only as long as you're laughing at them and not nervously chuckling about the insecurities they deflect. If you're thinning badly then you're part-sly. Go the full monty and give it a try. What you hair you have will come back. Of course, the choice is yours. And what matters is that you're happy and confident with who you are. Hair is just one part of that. So...make your choice and roll with it. Hell there's always hair club, right?
GS
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Very good post, GS!
J