Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => 30 Day Rule / Beginners Section => Topic started by: Nate Finch on September 01, 2015, 09:13:04 PM
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I've been losing my hair for about a decade (I'm 38), receding temples from my father's side, male pattern baldness from my mother's. It's the male pattern that really bothered me, because I never see it except when it gets caught in a photo. Anyway, I've been buzzing it shorter and shorter for about a year... started with a 3, then a 2 then a 1... I've been dropping suggestions to my wife that I may shave it sometime soon. Usually when I say that, she doesn't really say anything. This last time she said "well, do it soon so you can try it out before the kids' school starts". That was enough of a go ahead for me, so I did it one morning before she got up.
When she saw it she sort of winced and didn't say anything. Later that day she said "I don't have to like it, do I?"
Thanks for the support, honey!
It's funny, when I posted a picture to Facebook, all my immediate family disliked it, but a lot of more distant family and friends said it looks good. I'm just starting to get used to it after a week. I don't look so much like Bizzaro-Nate anymore. Still Slightly-Odd-Nate, but I can deal with that for a while longer... I've never been vain, so I often just forget I've shaved it until I pass a mirror.
I'm glad to find this forum and find the 30 day rule. Before I came here, I was going to ask how long it usually takes for yourself and others close to you to get used to it... now I know :) I can do 30 days. Hell, I'm 1/4 the way there already.
-Nate
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Welcome, Nate.
Sorry your dome got that reaction. Give your wife and family time to adjust. Soon, they will not even notice it when they see you.
I was fifty-one when I shaved off my horseshoe, and my adolescent son laughed his head off when he first saw me. The nicest statement my seventy-plus mom gave was, "You probably will want to grow it back." It took her about six months to accept it. She actually likes it now.
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I think it looks pretty fantastic. Hope you're enjoying it.
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Welcome, Nate! One of the good things about the 30-day rule is that it gives friends and family as well as the head shaver time to adjust. It looks good, stay with it.
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Looks good. The 30 day rule is both for you and also family and friends to adjust to the new look and by then no one really notices or comments. It is just you.
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It takes a bit of time for family and friends to adjust. stay with it they will accept that it is you. you look good.
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It looks really good on you. Keep going.
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When she saw it she sort of winced and didn't say anything. Later that day she said "I don't have to like it, do I?"
Float that line on her the next time she comes back from the beautiful parlor. I guarantee you'll be getting the silent treatment for a while after that. Amazing how some women have learned to devalue and disrespect the men in their lives in this society.
And as I ponder this a good answer to her question would have been "no, you don't have to like it, you just have to get used to it".
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Yeah, I said she didn't have to like it, but that I hoped she'd get used to it eventually. She didn't say it in a nasty tone of voice or anything, she was actually kind of apologetic... but yeah, a nicer response would have been appreciated.
Anyway, we'll see how it goes. It's definitely growing on me (heh).
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It took me a solid two weeks to get used to it. I already think I look weird in pictures with hair. You'll get there man.
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I think that you look pretty fantastic! Any you know what; it is really just the "change" that causes some of those reactions. If you had been shaving for years and then suddenly appeared with an MPB "fringe" or worse, a combover, you would be getting the very same reactions!
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Looks good! Your wife and family will get used to it.
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No, she does not have to like it, but keep it up and it won't be long and your shiny bald head will become normal and she will get to like it.
My wife was not crazy at first, but it did not take too long. Now she really enjoys coming along and rubbing my head. I like it too.
It will take awhile before YOU and others come to realize that this bald Nate really is you. It took me awhile. I was sold on the bald head look, but it took awhile before I got used to that really being me in the reflection or photos. Now, it's me. Yep. That's the way I look.
From those who have never met you, you'll get complements. You look great with a bald head. Hope you keep it up.
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Thanks, everyone. I'm sure I'll get used to it, an so will everyone else. And yeah, people who've never met me before aren't going to know I haven't always been bald... and I know I always thought bald guys look pretty damn cool, even before I shaved.
Very glad to have found this site. You guys are awesome.
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Hey Nate, it looks great! Wives are usually the first critics in the beginning but often change after they see how happy their husbands are after the decision to shave.
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I agree with everyone else, it certainly suits you. Being a newbie too, I've been through some similar reactions but it seems fairly short lived.
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When I had my first head shave my wife didn't really like it as she thought it a little extreme. Eventually she did get used to it & now she totally agrees that I should stay bald as she now likes the look on me and often-times cann't resist touching my bald head after a fresh shave...lol!!
Keep up the head shaving routine, bro. Your wife & others will get used to seeing you as a bald guy.
Welcome to this great site with a lot of great guys & some super advice (not just for head shaving, either...)
Bilko
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This bothers me, how a lot of women these days feel so entitled and that harassing and insulting there significant others about a physical feature is ok by a modern day society. If men do this there are considered shallow terrible people. Feminist at its worse. I honestly don't know if I would want to stay married to someone who treated me like that over something like hair.
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This bothers me, how a lot of women these days feel so entitled and that harassing and insulting there significant others about a physical feature is ok by a modern day society. If men do this there are considered shallow terrible people. Feminist at its worse. I honestly don't know if I would want to stay married to someone who treated me like that over something like hair.
O0
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One more advantage to being single!
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Suits you 100% Buddy. 100%. Looks great on you!
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i think it looks good. my family wasn't happy either. but after about a month or 2 they got used to it and realized that i feel better this way and have been cool with it for a few years now. i guess we forget that to us it's just a haircut and to everyone else it's a drastic change in our look.
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Thanks for sharing everyone. This was good to read. Also, I agree with everyone, you look great!
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Well, I'm late on this one...your 30 days is almost up, but I would have said, scrap the 30 day rule, and keep it. A very natural look on you!
I quit looking for approval from wife and family...it never worked, if I had a dime for everything they did that I did not like, and a nickel for everything I did that they did not like, I would be retired on a yacht with an all female crew, and not writing this from my work computer in Chad.
I hope you keep it, it is a very suiting look on you! O0
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I'm wondering if she has come around yet!
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My family got used to my shaved head pretty quick and easy, It's taken longer to get used my full beard (which is odd cos I have favoured some sort of facial hair since the age of 15) My mother is diplomatic about it but I can tell she isn't too keen on it
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For any man reading these posts who is on the fence about taking the plunge, just go for it. Besides from looking a whole lot better (and you will, trust us), you'll gain something far more valuable: freedom from people's opinions on things that really don't matter (like hair). I've just reached the two year mark, and only now has my wife decided (and expressed to me) that she thinks I look better bald. I appreciate that, but I had already decided that about seven days into the 30 Day Challenge for myself. Given time, family and friends will be on board, but what's most important is that you're happy with it. That's freedom.
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Good points kalva, after more than 2 years of headshaving, all but 2,of my friends have accepted my shaved head. They have both known me since I was a teen, and they just make comments like "I like you look better with hair". I'm sure there are more that don't care for it, but they keep it to themselves.
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The key is to not get attached to what other people think, good or bad. That is what causes suffering.
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The key is to not get attached to what other people think, good or bad. That is what causes suffering.
Sounds a bit like Buddhist philosophy, and I do agree.
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This bothers me, how a lot of women these days feel so entitled and that harassing and insulting there significant others about a physical feature is ok by a modern day society. If men do this there are considered shallow terrible people. Feminist at its worse. I honestly don't know if I would want to stay married to someone who treated me like that over something like hair.
My wife wasn't crazy about my bald head, since it brought up memories of her chemotherapy; and I have posted this in the past. However, my wife didn't resort to such snide language like that; and she learned to live with my dome.
To me, the wife's insults are immature-pure and simple. Like Oakdan stated, it's sad that women feel they have this "carte blanche" to insult their men's looks (despite being accepted by society). Then these same women wonder why their relationships suck. If men started to verbally retaliate the way these women did, the divorce rate in America would be 85%!
Save for my wife's sister (who also didn't dig the dome), the rest of our families were cool with it. My son got a kick out of it. My sisters dealt with it, as did our cousins and aunts. People at church and work were cool with it. My friends-even those I grew up with-were cool with it.
Wifey just needs to get over it.
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This bothers me, how a lot of women these days feel so entitled and that harassing and insulting there significant others about a physical feature is ok by a modern day society. If men do this there are considered shallow terrible people. Feminist at its worse. I honestly don't know if I would want to stay married to someone who treated me like that over something like hair.
My wife wasn't crazy about my bald head, since it brought up memories of her chemotherapy; and I have posted this in the past. However, my wife didn't resort to such snide language like that; and she learned to live with my dome.
To me, the wife's insults are immature-pure and simple. Like Oakdan stated, it's sad that women feel they have this "carte blanche" to insult their men's looks (despite being accepted by society). Then these same women wonder why their relationships suck. If men started to verbally retaliate the way these women did, the divorce rate in America would be 85%!
Save for my wife's sister (who also didn't dig the dome), the rest of our families were cool with it. My son got a kick out of it. My sisters dealt with it, as did our cousins and aunts. People at church and work were cool with it. My friends-even those I grew up with-were cool with it.
Wifey just needs to get over it.
I honestly think some of it is because both men and women are taught that it's feminine to care about one's appearance, so I think that many women don't think that men are really hurt by comments about their appearance. A woman would never tell a female friend that it looks like she has put on a few pounds, but guys will totally rib each other about their gut or about their receding hairline. Because us guys are mostly taught not to let on that we care about how we look.
Women are just treating us the way our culture teaches them to. Good looking guys in the movies don't spend half an hour trimming their beard scruff just right or fussing over a zit. The movies don't even show us that Bruce Willis has to shave his head every single morning to keep it that sly!
So even when we do take care of our appearance, we have to pretend that we don't care, lest we be accused of being "metrosexuals." And we have to pretend that nothing hurts our feelings, lest we be accused of being over-sensitive. It's a double standard that hurts both men and women. And it's why men and women often seem to be speaking two different languages at times.
My two cents. Your mileage may vary.