Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: d22patrick on April 30, 2014, 02:42:06 PM
-
Here's the back story. I have shaved my head before. I have a picture of it shaved and grown out. In the grown out picture I have a picture from the top.
From the front it doesn't look too bad but from the top... it's pretty rough. I'm taller than most people so when I say I'm balding they think I'm crazy.
But its severely messing with my confidence. The unfortunate thing is I was also not confident when I shaved my head in the past. Mainly because people are so used to me having hair they all said they didn't like me being bald.
I'm on the verge of just shaving and sticking with it since eventually I'll loose it and have to shave. Which is my girlfriends argument. She wants me to keep it until I have to shave
Any input would be appreciated!!
-
Forgot to attach the picture! Here it is!! Thanks Again
-
You look very confident shaved. Winning look, IMHO.
-
The shaved look does look much better, but you would expect that opinion on this site.
Most guys here will tell you it took time for family and friends to get comfortable to seeing them with a shave head when that have spent so much time seeing them with hair. Sometimes it take 6 month to a year for them to accept the look, and parents may never like it. You already know what you want to do, so just do it. You said your girlfriend wants you to wait, but is it a deal breaker for her? I suspect not, but if it is, it may not be that solid of a relationship.
The other common comment from most guys here is that they should have done it much sooner, at the first sign of MPB. That is what I did, and most people that know me think I and bald by choice and had no MPB. I had general thinning, but no "bald" spots and only a slightly receding hairline. But to me, it was time to take care of it.
If you do decide to shave, then go all the way with a razor, not just a clipper shave, and give it 30 days.
-
Welcome to the board, sir.
I think you pull off the Sly look very well.
That said, your question seems to be based upon the premise that a balding man HAS to shave his head. There is no such requirement, nor, in my opinion, is a shaved head for every man. It has to be something YOU want for yourself.
No one can nor should make the decision for you. If you are going to be happy with your choice and your look, it has to come from you rather than whatever your girlfriend or a group of bald men think. Your confidence will rise when you feel good about yourself, but please do not let its basis be your hair.
As you will read often on this board, if you want to shave it off, then be willing to commit to at least thirty days of shaving to give yourself and everyone else time to adjust to it. As I said, I think the Sly look suits you, but there is no rush for you to make a decision.
-
I know where you're coming from man. My balding was mostly from the crown. Most people that know me never noticed I was losing my hair since I'm fairly tall too but when I showed people a pic of my crown before I shaved it off, it was clearly understandable to viewers why I took the plunge. I have to say I don't regret my decision one bit and it happens to be one of the best decisions I've ever made. The recession is definitely there at your temples. You will know when the time is right for you to shave it off.
As far as your girlfriend is concerned, if she really values you, she'll accept you as you are hair or no hair. The girl I'm talking to really liked my newly shaved head.
If you have any questions man, just let me or one of the other guys know. We'll be glad to help you! Welcome and don't let anything stop you from doing what you want to do.
-
Honestly, you look fine with your hair the way it is now, but the picture of your with the shaved head looks great. The bald look really suits you. You're lucky being tall. As a short guy, there was no hiding my baldness!
Don't pay too much attention to the people who say they don't like you bald. They simply have to get used to you with a different look. And if you do it, they'll get used to it fast enough. You need to get your confidence back. Which way is that more likely to happen?
You don't ever have to shave your head just because you're balding. But if you think that's what you'll do, I'd do it now. For me, waiting would just make me anxious.
-
The buzzed look makes you look younger and athletic,start with that shaving can come later.
-
I think you will look even better and bad azz with the head completely shaved. Buzzing the dome is like hitting a triple in baseball. Shaving it smoooooth with a razor is like hitting a home run each and every time!!! Keep us posted on your road to slyness!!!
WARHAWK O0
-
I think you will look even better and bad azz with the head completely shaved. Buzzing the dome is like hitting a triple in baseball. Shaving it smoooooth with a razor is like hitting a home run each and every time!!! Keep us posted on your road to slyness!!!
WARHAWK O0
Bad ass is what I thought, too!
-
But its severely messing with my confidence. The unfortunate thing is I was also not confident when I shaved my head in the past. Mainly because people are so used to me having hair they all said they didn't like me being bald.
The great thing about this site is you'll get a lot of perspectives and you can decide which resonate well.
Personally, I think you will serve yourself well by shaving it off now versus later. It seems clear that hairloss will continue to be a part of your future. Why let your hairline control your life?
You look quite well shaved. Take the 30-day challenge (see elsewhere in the forum) to give yourself and others time to adjust to the new look. After a week or two you probably won't get any comments about the change.
Give your girlfriend time to adjust also. But if she can't deal with it, how will she handle your hairloss as it progresses. I'm guessing she's a smart girl and knows there is a lot more to you than just your hair.
Oh, BTW, welcome to the community.
-
I am BBC but I have to say that your hair loss is to the point where you are right on the edge of looking older than you are. The picture of your with the buzzcut is your best look. I think that you would look even better really shaved slick.
I am new to this look myself and the guys are right. You have to give yourself 30 days before you make up your mind. At first, it is a big change - both in your own mind and that of others who know you. But after a few weeks it just becomes "the way you are" and you don't even notice it when you look in the mirror - and neither will your girlfriend!
At the end of 30 days look at side by side photos of yourself with the scraps and with your slick smooth dome. Then decide.
-
Did you follow the 30 day rule?
Yep, the shaved or buzzed very short looks excellent.
-
It doesn't look bad now but it won't be long before it does. I would shave before you get to that point.
-
Welcome! If you think you like sly, go for it right away....If not, you could just go shorter gradually like some of our other members do. Good luck!
-
Lots of great advice from the guys here. Why not give it a try. If You don't like the sly look, it will grow back.
-
Thanks for all of the positive comments and for all the welcoming! I love this group. I am sorry I didn't respond right away. I am still trying to figure this site out and the forum as this is my first time using a forum.
I really appreciate all of the input! I have to admit I didn't follow the 30 day rule. I buzzed it once and let it grow out. Mainly because this weekend I am going home to visit my parents. I haven't seen them in 2 years and really didn't want to give my mom a heart attack! I am going to wait until after this weekend and then I am going to commit to the 30 day challenge!!
I will keep you guys posted :)
-
Yep, moms can have the worst reactions.
Mine took over a year to accept that I was going to stay this way.
-
+1, Same here
-
IMH, being completely bald brings out the features of your face much more. I know for myself, once I shaved my head, many people told me I looked more intense and much more confident. In your case, I think your appearance is fine either way, but I prefer the bald look much more.
Welcome!
-
Ok guys and gals... I still need some help. I personally like my hair better shaved or buzzed with no guard. But like I said my gf is not on board.
She says she likes my hair and doesn't want me to shave. Here's my question. A family member of hers is having a wedding the first week of June. Do I keep the hair until then just to be nice to my gf since she likes it or go ahead and start shaving?
-
Make deal with her: you'll keep your hair until for the wedding, then you'll buzz/shave your head for the summer. Who knows - by Labor Day, she may really like your new look.
-
That is a solid point. I should just do it and let her get used to it. I really hope she learns to like it. It would really help me with my confidence about the whole situation.
Plus it's always nice when your girl likes your look.
-
If I were you i'd shave it. She'll get used to it and if it makes you happy and you like it, then it should make her happy too. Rock it!
-
Much better shaved is my answer. Ok, it takes maintenance to do that daily but it is so nice to be bald!
Maybe you need to shave daily for 30 days to see if your other half can live with it. Tell her to give it 30 days to see if it 'grows' on her!
-
If it were me, I'd make her happy. I like npsbg s advice. Cut her a deal. You'll keep the hair for the wedding, but then she has to agree to give it the thirty day rule. I will bet she likes you sly if she gives it a chance.
Do you think that by telling you she likes your hair, she really is just telling you she loves you the way you are and you don't have to do anything to make yourself better?
My wife always told me, "you're not going bald!" when it was obvious I was. She was just trying to make me feel better and was telling me my hair didn't matter.
-
Back when I used to work as an attorney, we'd always tell clients in mediations that the best settlements are ones where neither side is totally satisfied. You'd like to shave, your gf seems opposed. So you agree not to shave until after the wedding, and she agrees to let you try it for 30 days. Neither of you gets exactly what you'd prefer. So seems like a proper compromise to me.
-
I think you guys are right. Comprising would be the fairest for both. I've waited this long I can wait until after the wedding now!
-
You really rocked the shaved head. I say shave it the day BEFORE the wedding. >:D
--really, though... this may not be a bad idea because there could be a lot of people there that haven't met you yet.. and they won't have your old look to compare too in their minds. They may say nice things about you to your girlfriend... and it could make her see it differently.
Either way, there is no reason that you should not feel MORE confident when you shave it (whenever that is), because you look a lot more confident in that picture. Don't let other people's hangups about what you used to look like keep you from feeling the freedom and confidence that you want to have. Don't seek their approval (even in your mind)...they will feel your confidence and will not be able to see it any differently or argue with you.
-
Shaved... no brainer...
-
Add another to the "shave it" column. Not having to deal with hair or hairloss is such a relief.
-
That shaved looked looks really good - much much better than the others - just my opinion
-
You could make some kind of deal with her maybe keep the hair until after the event then shave. My wife was not thrilled about me shaving my head at first. Now she says she's getting used to it and kind of likes it. Hopefully in another few weeks she will very much like it.
-
Well fellas the deal was made... not only am I going to shave it after the wedding, but she is going to shave it for me! Seems fair... I'll keep you up to date and post some pics after the deed is done.
-
Sounds like you worked out a good deal! Having your girlfriend do the shave makes her part of the transition - my guess is she'll end up really liking your new appearance.
Good luck!
-
Glad it worked out so well.
-
It's great that you reached a compromise with your girlfriend. I'll bet she is fairly excited to shave you, too! Good luck with everything.
-
Ok gentlmen... I think I'm losing my nerve. I know this is going to sound petty and vain but I hope you can look past that.
If you've read this you know that my gf and I came to an agreement that I can shave my head after the wedding which means I'll be shaving my head on June 7th.
But now I find I'm losing my nerve to do it. I'm getting self conscious about it. Mainly because my gf is incredibly beautiful and honestly already out of my league. She doesn't want me to shave it but gives me the "whatever makes you happy I just would prefer you keep it" response.
My other issue is all of her friends that we hang out with have bf's that are attractive and have a full head of hair. I worry I'll feel self conscious around them if I shave.
I guess my question is do we think that I'm shaving my head because it's a solution to balding or because I genuinely look better or at least about the same with a shaved head vs. with hair?
Any input would be appreciated!
-
I had to look back at your photos. You look good in all of them, but honestly, I think the picture of you shaved is best. I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it. If it were me, I'd probably shave it all off now rather than endure the recession and balding which will more than likely keep accelerating. And I think, as the others said, you look younger, you look bad ass, and it really suits you.
Don't put yourself down. No matter how beautiful your girl is, if you are a good guy and you treat her well, you are not out of her league. I wouldn't be concerned with her friends' boyfriends. A handsome face and a full head if hair do not necessarily make for a good person. There are plenty of good looking jerks in the world.
Why are you shaving? As a solution to balding? Yes. Because you look better? Yes in my opinion. But you do not have to shave your head for any reason. Go with your gut. If you are not ready or sure, give it some extra time. There is no deadline.
-
If you aren't ready, that's okay. You aren't being forced to do it.
One comment from Mike that I'll echo: don't put yourself down. Once you start thinking your girlfriend is out of your league, you'll behave in ways that will drive her away. She sees something in you that is attractive - that's why she's your girlfriend, not somebody else's. Be confident and happy with that. The fact that she's willing to shave your head because it will make you happy should tell you something about her inner qualities.
But again, if you aren't ready, don't do it.
-
Your decision, but I have gotten more attention from women since I shaved off my full head of hair. I've had women come up to me in a bar (in front of my GF) and tell me how hot she thought I looked bald, and I'm 60yo! my new GF loves it, thinks it is sexy. Good luck whatever you decide.
-
Thanks a lot guys. That really makes sense. I guess she is with me for a reason! I guess I was worries I might lose her over this but if she leaves me over something like hair then I guess that would say even more about her.
This is something I want to do for me because I like it more... for some reason I started worrying about what other people would think which is unlike me.
Thanks again for all the comments... they really help!
8 days left and the hair will be gone! I'll be sure to post a pic!
-
This is something I want to do for me because I like it more... for some reason I started worrying about what other people would think which is unlike me.
Good!!! This really needs to be something you do because YOU want it rather than something you feel you have to do.
And don't feel bad because you are worried about how you will look or how others will react. I have a feeling almost all of us have had those anxieties to some degree at some point when we were contemplating going smooth.
-
Good luck! You can do it!