Sly Bald Guys Forum

Confidence and Success => How to Build Confidence => Topic started by: Chavster on September 05, 2011, 01:36:09 PM

Title: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 05, 2011, 01:36:09 PM
Ever since I first shaved my head (5 or so years ago), I've had absolutely no problem with my self-confidence, in regards to being bald. If anything, it has increased my self-confidence.

However, there's one exception to this, and I'm slightly struggling to find a solution, so any sensible suggestions welcome!

There's a store I go into most days. Its just a small local store with maybe 7 employees, and I get on very well with them all, and I'm quite friendly with the store manager, and she and I will send each other text messages occasionally, or we'll go for coffee once in a while and bitch about the world...

But for some reason, I've never yet been able to go into that store without a baseball cap on my head. I know for sure they all know I shave my head, because one or two of them have referred to it, but even so, something is stopping me from going in there without a cap or a hat.

I'm certainly not concerned about impressing them or not impressing them. I'm on a friendly basis with them all but I'm not worried about whether I'm looking attractive to them or not. So why cant I go in there with my head exposed?

Its literally the one place I have a problem. Everywhere else, I'm more than happy to show my head off to the world!

So what should I do, just bite the bullet and go in there with a naked head? Every time I've tried, I fail miserably.

Suggestions welcome!
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: TheSlyBear on September 05, 2011, 01:59:37 PM
That does sound a bit odd -- unless there's someone in the store you have a "thing" for and that's the issue.

Otherwise, I can't think of any reason why that one store could be an issue.

I'd say if it's bothering you, just go on in bare-headed and prove to yourself that it's no big deal.
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 05, 2011, 02:03:14 PM
You're right. But every time I drive to the store, I drive there with a bald head, but when I get out of the car, I cant seem to get out of it without putting a cap on. The one time I forgot to take a cap with me, I drove home to get one before I could go into the store! Its crazy. I literally dont have a confidence issue in any other circumstance or in any other place.

There's nobody in the store I have a thing for though :) so thats definitely not the reason. None of them are my type at all.

Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: buddha on September 05, 2011, 02:18:52 PM
There's nobody in the store I have a thing for though :) so thats definitely not the reason. None of them are my type at all.

The store manager? Sounds like there might be some interest there (texting, coffee, etc).

Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 05, 2011, 02:21:40 PM
Nah, its nothing like that, take it from me :)

She's a nice girl but there's zero physical attraction.
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: aarrggh on September 05, 2011, 02:26:14 PM
 Is it a baseball cap store ? . .   ???
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 05, 2011, 02:28:20 PM
 :D No, they sell books, magazines, etc etc. Nothing to do with hats, caps, hair or heads  :P
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Razor X on September 05, 2011, 03:16:02 PM
Well, the only way to to get over this hang-up is to face it head on, if you'll pardon the pun.   ;)  Don't even bring a cap with you the next time you go over there.  Once you go in there bare-headed one time, it won't be a big deal the next time.

I can't say why this one place is problematic for you, but I used to go through this all the time whenever I was about to meet someone for the first time after shaving my head. Once the initial meeting was over, it was never a problem again.  It literally took me several years to get a chance to show the noggin to everyone.  Towards the end I was down to people I hadn't seen in years and years.  Not sure why I thought their opinions counted for anything.
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 05, 2011, 03:21:23 PM
Well, the only way to to get over this hang-up is to face it head on, if you'll pardon the pun.   ;)  Don't even bring a cap with you the next time you go over there.  Once you go in there bare-headed one time, it won't be a big deal the next time.

I can't say why this one place is problematic for you, but I used to go through this all the time whenever I was about to meet someone for the first time after shaving my head. Once the initial meeting was over, it was never a problem again.  It literally took me several years to get a chance to show the noggin to everyone.  Towards the end I was down to people I hadn't seen in years and years.  Not sure why I thought their opinions counted for anything.

Yeah you're right, I think I just need to do it. I have to go in there tomorrow so maybe tomorrow will be the day :(

Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Razor X on September 05, 2011, 03:27:14 PM

Yeah you're right, I think I just need to do it. I have to go in there tomorrow so maybe tomorrow will be the day :(



CORRECTION:


Yeah you're right, I think I just need to do it. I have to go in there tomorrow so maybe tomorrow will be the day :(
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 05, 2011, 03:32:13 PM
Tomorrow WILL be the day :D  ;D
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Razor X on September 05, 2011, 03:33:01 PM
Now, you're talkin'!    O0
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 05, 2011, 03:34:31 PM
Yeah but its 10.30pm here. I still have a few hours to lose my nerve :D :D

But I do think tomorrow will be the day. Its just a silly, one-off fear I need to conquer.
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Razor X on September 05, 2011, 03:38:23 PM

But I do think tomorrow will be the day. Its just a silly, one-off fear I need to conquer.

Exactly.  Believe me, I understand what you're going through.  Been there, done that.  From shaving my head, to showing it to people, growing a beard, shaving if off, worrying about whether people can notice the ever-increasing number of grey hairs in it, etc. etc.  But once you confront the fear, it's over and done. If you back out, you hate yourself afterwards. 
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 05, 2011, 03:42:54 PM
Yeah you're right.

And I hope you dont mind me saying this, but I'm a little surprised you had those issues. i think just about all the men on this site I've seen pictures of look great, but going on your profile picture, a bald head suits you absolutely perfectly. One of the best looks I've seen, along with one or two other guys I've noticed tonight. But, I guess we dont always see ourselves in the same light as others see us.

Just a friendly compliment
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Razor X on September 05, 2011, 03:45:49 PM
Thanks.  I think we all tend to be our own worst critics.
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 05, 2011, 03:47:05 PM
Thats very true, and usually we're too harsh on ourselves!
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: philp on September 05, 2011, 06:54:21 PM
Thanks.  I think we all tend to be our own worst critics.

+1 to that. Good luck GSGUK! I agree with razor 100%, just do it. Let us know how it goes.
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 05, 2011, 07:02:32 PM
Thanks :) I will do.
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Laser Man on September 05, 2011, 07:43:51 PM
You didn't say if you wear a cap when you meet the store manager for coffee.  I assume you don't and she's seen your bald head.  Chances are too that the other people in the shop know you shave your head either from her or from the fact that a cap can hide the top, but not the clean-shaven sides.  So, if everyone knows you're bald, leave the cap at home and go into the shop.  My guess is if you do it once, you won't think about wearing the cap again.

Let us know how it goes
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Acme on September 05, 2011, 10:21:49 PM
Your head looks pretty damned good from your profile picture so you have nothing to worry about. Just remember to smile  :)
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 06, 2011, 12:40:53 AM
Yeah I've worn a cap or hat every time I've had anything to do with that shop, including coffee. I know they definitely know I shave my head because the assistant manager once made a passing remark about my 'hair being a lot shorter than it used to be', which I certainly didnt mind and it didnt make me uncomfortable in any way. So really, I have no idea what the issue is! I've never yet had any negative comments from anyone, so the whole baseball cap thing is a mystery to me. I dont even like wearing a baseball cap :(

Your head looks pretty damned good from your profile picture so you have nothing to worry about. Just remember to smile  :)

Thanks a lot :) I'm quite a smiley person in real life, but my pictures tell a different story. I dont like having my picture taken very much so I look like a serial killer in most of them  :x!
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Laser Man on September 06, 2011, 05:07:15 AM
So you wear the cap even when you meet the manager outside the shop. That is a mystery! Just try taking it off once and see how it goes.
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: TheSlyBear on September 06, 2011, 08:24:15 AM
 It's funny how that works! People who complain that they don't take good pictures are the one's who scowl at the camera. Cause, meet effect!  :D
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 06, 2011, 08:24:44 AM
Well I had a few things to do this morning, and a few places to go, and as always, I was proudly bald :) The 'Mystery Shop', however, was last on my list of places to go. Not intentionally, its just the way it was.

As I parked the car (the car park/parking lot is about a 2 minute walk from the shop), the urge to throw a baseball cap on my head was, as always, strong, but I told myself that I'm a mature/middle aged/getting older by the second kind of guy, I've been through plenty of difficult situations in my life, and that going into a shop to buy a magazine without a baseball cap on my head was most likely the easiest thing I'd have to do all year.

So I got out of the car, walked about 30 seconds towards the shop, then lost my nerve and went back and sat in the car for a minute or two, during which time I told myself how stupid I was being, and that I just needed to get a grip. So I did.

I then got out of the car again, walked directly to the shop, and hey presto! I did it!  :D

The only tiny problem was that the shop itself, and the shops on either side of it, had signs in their windows to say they were closed because of an electrical fault, and that they'd be open again tomorrow  >:(

So I drove home, had some beer, and decided that I'll put myself through it all again tomorrow, when hopefully there will actually be someone inside the shop I can show my head off to :(

But at least I tried :(

Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 06, 2011, 08:25:31 AM
It's funny how that works! People who complain that they don't take good pictures are the one's who scowl at the camera. Cause, meet effect!  :D

You must like having yours taken because you look PDG to me
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: mangosink12572 on September 06, 2011, 08:59:30 AM
BALD is beautiful  and you  WEAR it well

GOOD LUCK
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 06, 2011, 09:01:07 AM
 ;D Thank you
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: TheSlyBear on September 06, 2011, 09:07:47 AM
/blush
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 06, 2011, 09:09:19 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: mangosink12572 on September 06, 2011, 09:14:27 AM
Let us know what happens when you go into the store without the HAT and a great looking SHINY DOME instead - - - - -?????
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Razor X on September 06, 2011, 09:14:57 AM
Well, the important thing is you tried.
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 06, 2011, 09:15:55 AM
Let us know what happens when you go into the store without the HAT and a great looking SHINY DOME instead - - - - -?????

You can bank on it :)

Well, the important thing is you tried.


Yeah but I havent yet succeeded. Tomorrow is another day :D
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Laser Man on September 06, 2011, 09:20:41 AM
Good luck tomorrow! 
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 06, 2011, 11:16:26 AM
Thanks :) although I've actually decided to go back tonight. Its 6.15pm here and they're open until 8, and I heard on the grapevine the stores have re-opened, so I'm heading back there shortly  O0
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: jimbo48 on September 06, 2011, 06:42:24 PM
Good luck.  Let us know what happens. 
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 07, 2011, 12:29:16 AM
Will do. I did go back last night but they hadn't re-opened, so I'll try again this morning
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Laser Man on September 07, 2011, 06:44:44 AM
So did you go back today without the hat?
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 07, 2011, 06:47:06 AM
Yeah but I lost my nerve again. Im going to try again this evening :(

I really dont know what the big deal is. Someone needs to slap me.
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Laser Man on September 07, 2011, 07:45:52 AM
Okay - you can do it
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 07, 2011, 08:22:09 AM
Im leaving right now to do it
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: mangosink12572 on September 07, 2011, 12:45:28 PM
If  that BIG lake was not   between us I would go with you
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 07, 2011, 02:22:11 PM
Well I was pretty nervous for some reason, so I could have used someone to hold my hand :)

Anyway, I did finally get it over and done with. On reflection, I think the thing that was worrying me was that they were going to say 'OMG, you shaved your head  :o :o :o :o' or something similar, but in fact, none of them said a word. Nobody gave me any strange looks. It was as if they'd seen it a million times. I knew they knew I'd shaved my head, so I wasnt expecting them to be surprised as such. I dont really know what I expected. Whatever I expected was unrealistic.

So there you have it :) Its all over and done with, and its now an official fact that I love to show my head off in 100% of the places on the planet :D

I still find it incredible that I spent my childhood scared to death that I was going to look like my father, who went bald when he was 18, yet now, having a smooth melon uplifts me in so many ways I cant even put it into words.
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Magoo on September 07, 2011, 03:23:01 PM
Being you always wore your hat at the store, I would think they did notice the change.
But most courteous people won't make a comment. But at any rate you broke the ice and next time you return to the store go without the hat.From then on it should be a piece of cake.  8)
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Laser Man on September 07, 2011, 04:25:57 PM
I'm glad you finally did it.  Now the spell is broken and you can go into the shop anytime without a hat. 
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Acme on September 07, 2011, 08:15:23 PM
I still find it incredible that I spent my childhood scared to death that I was going to look like my father, who went bald when he was 18, yet now, having a smooth melon uplifts me in so many ways I cant even put it into words.

That's exactly how I feel!

My father is now 75 and still doing the comb over.  I guess it's worked for him for about 45 years but I was never going to do that.
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Slynito on September 07, 2011, 10:21:52 PM
Phew! I read through 4 pages of this soap opera and was finally happy to come to the climax....I'm glad that you did it, as you are. Now perhaps the next visit to the store you can joke about your chrome dome...it's a bad hair day...y'all got any pocket combs? ...ya like my new color? It may be fun and also a new approach. Whatcha thinK?  O0
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Laser Man on September 08, 2011, 09:58:58 AM
So, did you go back today without the hat?
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Chavster on September 08, 2011, 10:00:06 AM
No, but I'll be going tonight before they close, which is three hours from now :D
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: BaldHDbiker on October 14, 2011, 07:56:02 AM
Great story about our fears and how to overcome them.

 I live in a very small community and had a full head of hair but after I shaved my head I went right out to my local stores without a hat and proudly showed off my new look. A few people took some second looks and I talked about it to some of the regular people I usually talk to. Overall I got alot of smiles and I felt great showing the world my new look.
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Slynito on October 14, 2011, 11:12:50 AM
Great story about our fears and how to overcome them.

 I live in a very small community and had a full head of hair but after I shaved my head I went right out to my local stores without a hat and proudly showed off my new look. A few people took some second looks and I talked about it to some of the regular people I usually talk to. Overall I got alot of smiles and I felt great showing the world my new look.

You showed lots of, "Cajones". I live in a small town too...men and women get big time looks if you wear shorts into the bank or library.
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: BaldHDbiker on October 14, 2011, 04:22:02 PM

You showed lots of, "Cajones". I live in a small town too...men and women get big time looks if you wear shorts into the bank or library.

Oh they'd love me then. I wear short most of the time until it gets REAL cold. lol
Title: Re: A confidence question
Post by: Slynito on October 15, 2011, 02:43:11 PM
Being comfortable is the only way to go.