Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => Reactions to being Bald => Topic started by: frank_m on June 21, 2007, 05:27:23 PM
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I know this has been addressed before, but I guess I'm looking for some 'responses'.
I went sly on June 4, so this is quite new to me.
I still have a full head of hair, and my father knows that... ( he does too )
I've been keeping a #2 fade for the past 7 or so years, so they are definately used to me have 'short' hair..
about a year ago, I got a call from my step mother & father (they live in Florida) about my brother, who was still living with them.
I guess he went in to the shower out by the pool and emerged a little while later sly, and he had a white head. they were pretty upset about that... i think also because he was going through some depression issues at that time, so they thought it was 'self destructive / mutilation'
anyways, they are vacationing in Maine and we are heading up next Thursday for the weekend.... they have no idea that I've gone sly, and I'm getting that pit feeling in my stomach about it..
my father is quite 'old school', now I'm going to be 37 in 2 months, so I can make my own decisions.. but feelings like this bring me back to my childhood and that 'feeling' when you know you've done something that doesn't make your father mad, but it makes him "disappointed" O:O
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Dude, you're 37, why the need to worry?? I'm not trying to make little of your concerns, I just don't understand the problem. It's only your hair, it's not like you've had a sex change ;)
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I hear you 100%, I guess it's that pit in the stomach that I get when I know there's going to be "disapproval" from my father..
you know that feeling you would get before the first day of school ?
regardless of my anxiety over it, I'm keeping the head sly, and I'm still going and I don't really care what he has to say!
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If you are really worried about the shave issue then you could always break the ice by telling them you got a sex change. ;D J/K bro. But seriously, don't worry. People are always going to have their own opinions. Even parents. The way I explained it to everyone was that I feel better with my head shaved like this and that's really all that matters. If you are a good guy and even more, a good son then they will love you no matter what. Even if their initial reaction is a bad one.
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It is quite common Frank to be anxious when meeting family and friends for the first time after going sly, especially when those important people are more conservative or do not deal well with change. As a BBC guy with a full head of hair, I have been where you are and know how uptight you can feel. But I found my fears were really unfounded. Yes there might be some remarks about why you did it and are you going to keep it that way. But if you feel good about who you are as a sly guy, then the only answer to those comments or questions should be.."Because I wanted to...it is who I am and it makes me feel good about myself." Show the same confidence to them that you have shown in other situations and they will come around when they see how great being sly is for you. Good luck.
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when they ask "WHY" you did that. you could always just get a real sinister grin and say ".....cause the voices told me to." it would take the attention away from your bald head. might land you in a padded room, but nobody would remember that you went sly. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA >:D
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Frank, I just went through this situation this last weekend and "Yes" I was also very nervous about. It turned out to be another non-event. There were a few joking comments, but I think if you come across as confident about yourself and your appearance, they will respect your decision and it probably won't be as big of a deal as you're expecting.
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Dude, you're 37, why the need to worry?? I'm not trying to make little of your concerns, I just don't understand the problem. It's only your hair, it's not like you've had a sex change ;)
No matter how old you are, parents have a way of making you feel guilty if you do something other than what they expect you to. Believe me, Irish mothers are experts at it, as you should know, Blagadan. ;)
But in the end, it comes down to the fact that you are an adult and entitled to make your own decisions. The first few minute are awkward, but it soon passes. Good luck.
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frank.... i was in the same situation as w/ many sly brahs(when i went sly). i was definitely nervous @ 1st but like slyinKC..... it turned out 2 be a noneventful issue w/ my parents. they(parents) have embraced my new look and i'm sure yours will....2. anyways.... just go in there w/ your confident sly self and it will b ALL GOOD!!!
keep it SLY,
WARHAWK O0
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thanks for the advice everybody!
I know i'm not alone here, but my father just has a way of making me feel like i'm 7 years old again sometimes.
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Frank. I really can't add anything other than best wishes. I think if you just laugh off any unwanted comments it will go fine. Good luck.
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When I shaved my head, no one knew I was thinning. So it was a complete shock to everyone. I found out pretty quickly who were the ones that liked me for what I looked like and who were my friends regardless of how I chose to look. Your parents are your parents. They'll love you regardless. Sex change/hair change/ body oder/ it doesnt matter... they won't change the way they feel about you because you changed your look. Hope this helps. (:)
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frank...if they freak out just sit them down and explain to them that you like it this way and explain to them that its becoming acceptable in the younger generations and its not just for racist,sick people and criminals anymore.....if you were thinning, explain to them that you did it to help you deal with going bald and tell them about the positives you've experienced......the older generations don't understand and wont understand unless we explain it to them...they are from a time that it was just not acceptable for any reason...
i'm going back home to Louisiana either tommorow or next day to visit family and friends...i'm really not that nervous..i've told most of them or the ones i give a crap about lol...plus they know i was bald anyway lol..might want to tell them over the phone before they see you in person so its not such a shock to them...it also might be easier to explain and will give them time to accept it....good luck
btw..did you get those cherry anginomas removed? if so..what method cutout or froze off?..i have a couple i got to get removed.
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Good Luck with the visit Frank, it will probably go ok.
Might be a good time to look at why your father makes you feel guilty. If you are both open to it, this could be an opener for some good conversation and getting closer and possibly resolving some issues.
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btw..did you get those cherry anginomas removed? if so..what method cutout or froze off?..i have a couple i got to get removed.
Not yet, procedure is set for July 10 at 10:15 AM, I can't wait..
I seem to nick one or the other every couple of days, so I feel that I am always dealing with some type of 'scab' on my head all the time,
I will definately post something about the procedure..
it's not really a vanity thing, I've learned to accept them and they don't bother me any nobody every comments on them, it's just the fact that they make shaving quite difficult to get close to them without nicking them.
I didn't realize it the other day, but I had this streak of dried blood running down the back of my head where I had nicked one, I thought it was done bleeding, but it must have sprung a leak some time during the day..
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yea mine dont bother me either its just the nicking them that bugs me too....i've noticed that i only nick it when my blade is older than 2 weeks......when i do nick it i let it heal for a few days by using my electric razor in that spot.....mine is on the side of my head...would suck if it was on the back not being able to see if it bleeding or not......you having them cut off or froze off?
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yea mine dont bother me either its just the nicking them that bugs me too....i've noticed that i only nick it when my blade is older than 2 weeks......when i do nick it i let it heal for a few days by using my electric razor in that spot.....mine is on the side of my head...would suck if it was on the back not being able to see if it bleeding or not......you having them cut off or froze off?
I'll find out from the surgeon, but the Dr. I met with isn't the one doing it,
i told them I want what ever method would leave the least amount of scarring
i think they'll be cutting it, but I'm not sure 100% yet
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yea mine dont bother me either its just the nicking them that bugs me too....i've noticed that i only nick it when my blade is older than 2 weeks......when i do nick it i let it heal for a few days by using my electric razor in that spot.....mine is on the side of my head...would suck if it was on the back not being able to see if it bleeding or not......you having them cut off or froze off?
I'll find out from the surgeon, but the Dr. I met with isn't the one doing it,
i told them I want what ever method would leave the least amount of scarring
i think they'll be cutting it, but I'm not sure 100% yet
Good luck with the removal. Best wishes.
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UPDATE
I'm up here in Maine..
we arrived Thursday night, it was kind of late, not much was said about it.
But the next morning, I got the grilling.
my step mother said exactly what I thought, "you have such nice hair".
my father seems to focus more on the angioma's more than anything, I explain that's one of the primary reasons I did this, so I can have them cut off, AND because I like it!
all in all, everybody was right, it wasn't that bad, they got over it rather quickly.
8)
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Well I am glad you are past that Frank. I started feeling the same way you did when I was to meet up wtih my parents..they only live 2 blocks away..and i was like braced for tthe worst for about 30 seconds..and finally I told myself..im 37 ..i can do what ever the hell I want....and if they dont like it...then dont come see me. But I dont ever see that happening..my parents are the greatest..but when i did finally see them ..i got the bulging eyes and the question of WHY? my response..( and i didnt mean for it to sound as bad as it did or as shitty as it did) I told them because I CAN. So congrats on staying SLY ..its cool...and i like it
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Oh I forgot to add....I have only been sly for about 2 weeks....and I am going to a family reunion today. This ought to go over well....but hey ...its not their head...its MINE. lol
Good luck to anyone who decides to go SLY...best move you can make if it questionable to you.
See ya
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Glad things went fairly well there frank...and Timm, sounds like you have the right attitude to handle whatever comes up at that reunion, but from past experience will bet all goes really well. Good luck
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Just a re-cap of my weekend up there in Maine with the Family.
every morning, I would get questioned about it.
my father kept asking if I was going to grow my hair back after I get the moles cut off my head, I told him straight out, NO.
he said his peace and told me he likes me 'better with hair'... oh well... I guess he'll have to like me just a little less, because I'm not going to have hair.
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Just a re-cap of my weekend up there in Maine with the Family.
every morning, I would get questioned about it.
my father kept asking if I was going to grow my hair back after I get the moles cut off my head, I told him straight out, NO.
he said his peace and told me he likes me 'better with hair'... oh well... I guess he'll have to like me just a little less, because I'm not going to have hair.
Good for you. O0 Do what makes you happy. ;)
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Just a re-cap of my weekend up there in Maine with the Family.
every morning, I would get questioned about it.
my father kept asking if I was going to grow my hair back after I get the moles cut off my head, I told him straight out, NO.
he said his peace and told me he likes me 'better with hair'... oh well... I guess he'll have to like me just a little less, because I'm not going to have hair.
Good for you. O0 Do what makes you happy. ;)
Lance said it all
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Put it this way Bro...he only has to see you what???? once a month or so or once a year? And also....Im 37 and if my dad tried to tell me I had to have hair on my head....well.....I believe they stopped being my authoritive figure on what I do when I turned 18. my mom still walks by and taps me on the head and says WHY WHY WHY with a smile. But I think she jsut does it cause she wants to feel the DOME! LOL
Hey I love my mom...what can I say
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Well, you made it and survived...glad you're sticking to your guns and keeping the bald dome..
life is too short for you not to live the way YOU choose!
Keep it smooth and sly brutha! O0
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Good for you frank, "you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself" Stay sly bro.
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frank... glad that u r defending your right 2 b happy by keeping your dome smooth. your father will come around but the MAIN thing is that U like your new U. keep it sly!!!
WARHAWK O0