Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => 30 Day Rule / Beginners Section => Topic started by: thatfella on June 27, 2013, 11:12:39 AM
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Hey guys
Well I've been a bit quiet on the forum but have been logging in quite frequently and touching base with some fellow sly mates in my local area and just wondering how the heck do I ever become comfortable as a bald by choice sly guy?? I want this look and lifestyle so much but find so much resistance from everyone that I almost feel that I should give in to growing my hair back to a look I don't want! The struggle has been the inconsistency and convenience as I feel like there are certain periods where people don't care and other times where people feel like voicing their opinion on my bald by choice look. Any advice?????
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If you give in to others' demands you will be annoyed with yourself for not standing your ground. If you stick with it and show no signs of wavering, the critics will eventually give up. I found that once I stopped caving in to other people's demands I was a lot happier. Remember this is about YOU and not about anyone else.
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I don't know how long you have been shaving, but it takes a while for family and Friends to make the adjustment. Once they do they will be more accepting. I think when the mental image of your appearance in their mind changes from hair to no hair, it will no longer be an issue. Until the, hold firm.
For some, this may take several months.
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Instead of changing your "hairstyle", maybe you should give consideration as to who you associate with.
Don't mean to sound harsh, but why is it someone else's business how you wear your hair (or lack thereof)?
Also, read Razor's comment....profound words from a SBG veteran!
Good luck,
Schro
ps - the look is good on you. Stick with it.
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Hey guys
Well I've been a bit quiet on the forum but have been logging in quite frequently and touching base with some fellow sly mates in my local area and just wondering how the heck do I ever become comfortable as a bald by choice sly guy?? I want this look and lifestyle so much but find so much resistance from everyone that I almost feel that I should give in to growing my hair back to a look I don't want! The struggle has been the inconsistency and convenience
Your inconsistency in shaving your head? or Others inconsistency in making comments about your bald head? as I feel like there are certain periods where people don't care and other times where people feel like voicing their opinion on my bald by choice look. Any advice?????
My immediately family did not 'care' for the shaved head at first, but I remained upbeat and positive about it. Now they either like it, got used to is, or don't comment any more.
When I shaved my head, I put on a smile and with my attitude that this is the way it's going to be. Perhaps it's the attitude, don't know, but people seem to like it.
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If you want to stay sly, it is easy. Shave your head. Live life. You are then bald by choice. Being Sly also means being comfortable with a bald head in your daily life. Shave your head, hold it high so everyone can see, let them know it was by choice and live life to the fullest.
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People assume that if you can grow a head of hair, you want a head of hair, so they don't understand your choice - and that's the important part: it's your choice not theirs. If you like being sly, that's what matters. As others have said, after a while, people stop commenting.
My advice is the same as the others: if you like, stick with it. If you like it, but give in to others and grow your hair back, what have you achieved?
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Do you like everyone's hair that you meet? I just wonder why it's such an issue? It's just a choice of hairstyle. If you grow it back the people that don't like it will be pleased and it'll be harder for you to shave it off again. As I say it's your hair, do what makes you feel comfortable
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If you give in on this, what else will you give in on? Should you let others choose your clothing? What you're having for dinner? Who you date? Where you live? Where you work?
Slippery slope, my man.
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My first thought was to tell them just to shut up, but I suppose you want to stay on good terms with these people, so that might not be such a good idea.
It looks like you have been Sly for about a year. Has this been going on all that time? Have you tried just responding firmly that you like the look and it is how you intend to stay? You could follow up with what Slyest said: It is only hair and a hairstyle that now is mainstream, so why is everyone making such a big deal over it?
The Sly look is good on you, by the way.
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I may be cynical....but they are going to harass you about it if they know it's bothering you. Whenever someone comments about your slyness, just simply say "Thanks for your concern, but I am happy with my current hairstyle" or, you can always just change the subject and turn the spotlight on them. Hang in there and good luck!
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I'd say just hang tight. They will get use to the look. And don't give in. you will regret that. Being sly is about having the balls to do what you want. That attitude goes with the look. Carefree!
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Do what suits you mate,
If you wanna shave do so, and we will support you.
But you shouldn't feel pressured to shave or not, it's on you.
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Be pleased that you have the confidence in yourself to appear as you want. Ignore ugly comments and laugh at the teasing you may get. It is you now.
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As long as you enjoy it - - -don't worry what others think - - -It is a great look on you. Keep it.
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Never let loved ones, relatives, co-workers or friends decide your haircut for you. I have had some feedback from older people ( lets say over 60) that I should grow whatever hair I have. In their earlier years they were programmed that hair is prized and to be there. In recent decades that has changed, they just haven't. It s a contemporary haircut today. Perhaps in your local area there may be less sly guys but in urban areas it is quite common. Older people may just not realize that yet. In any case don't be a victim of anyone else's ideas or limits or programming on men having hair. Consider this a change for yourself and that perhaps will make you evaluate other areas differently where you have been pleasing others and not yourself.
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Hey man, Wow - I was just going to start a post like this myself- been BBC for 1 year and 2 months - family were not big fans - then it sort of just quieted down. Last week suddenly a major resurgence of how it does not look good and why do I want to keep doing it since I am not in the least bald. So here I am loving the BBC look and now increased pressure-it doesn't feel good to be criticized- I so get your post. Lets try to keep shaving and see what develops. Just glad this forum is here.
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Hey man, Wow - I was just going to start a post like this myself- been BBC for 1 year and 2 months - family were not big fans - then it sort of just quieted down. Last week suddenly a major resurgence of how it does not look good and why do I want to keep doing it since I am not in the least bald. So here I am loving the BBC look and now increased pressure-it doesn't feel good to be criticized- I so get your post. Lets try to keep shaving and see what develops. Just glad this forum is here.
It's your head. It's your hairstyle. Bald looks really good and is an option for guys (and a few ladies), although more common for the guys.
A simple, "I like it this way", or "I like the smooth feel of my head" should be sufficient.
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Well, you've already made the choice to shave, so just follow your gut feeling. Only you can make the choice. If you're not happy with your appearance you can change, but don't let others decide for you. Good luck.
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isn't it funny that "friends" think its ok to criticise...I mean comment when someone shaves their head?..not the regular comment when you have your hair cut...if they even notice...but shave and they start queuing up! none of my close friends said much at all, a few acquaintance's made the odd comment...anything negative was thrown straight back...which shut them up....family is another matter....you cant pick them...deal with it or ignore it....my sister, who comments on EVERYTHING. ..did try....but I just pointed out that I have never mentioned her hair choices lol...if you want to shave....shave...be confident. ..stand up for your choices if you feel you have too....though most people stop commenting when they realise you aren't listening
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Many folks actually have rather short memories. After a while the shaved look "becomes" you (in, I suppose, both senses) and the old you becomes indistinct. Then they move on to carping over recent new things about you that annoy them.
Too bad we can't crush these folks like bugs.
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German you are so right- I will keep you posted-
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I'm also BBC, and love it. Some people have asked why I would shave my head bald when I have a full head of silver grey hair. Well, I just respond, "I like it and think it looks cool". End of conversation. Guess I really don't care what anyone thinks, but I do enjoy all the positive comments. I'm surprised at all the comments from gal who think it is sexy. Like the other guys said, a lot of it is in the attitude. I can't go anywhere around here without seeing numerous guys with shaved heads. Went to a car show last Saturday and lost count at 60 sly guys. If shaving makes you happy, go for it!
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Bottom line is the only opinion that matters is yours. Most people who try it like it.
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Dude, I totally understand your perspective. I got a short buzz cut when I was in high school (I wasn't tryin to be a rebel, I was just in JROTC in high school and a lot of the guys had military cuts and I wanted to try it out), went home and my parents made such a big deal out of it that it made me so ashamed and embarrassed. What was I thinking?!?!?! Fast forward a few years, joined the Marine Corps (of course, got my head shaved in boot camp) and got married. I know my wife loves my hair. It's very thick, wavy and I'm blessed to have such a nice head of hair however prefer to be BBC. Obviously, I kept my hair within Marine Corps standard over the course of my career but grew the top out from time to time just to appease my wife. I took whatever opportunity that came available to slick it back down. Deployments, exercises, military schools...I used these as "excuses" to explain to my wife that a shaved head would be more practical and easier to maintain while I was gone. After I retired last year, she was one of the first to say; "finally, you can grow your hair out now." and for over a year, I grew it but hated the hair every day. It gets in the way, you have to mess with it before you can even leave the house and at my age, you have to color it to cover the grey...just a pain to deal with. Finally this week, with the prompting of my son, we went to the barber shop and had it slicked back down, straight razor shave and all and for the first time in over a year, I felt IN CONTROL again. This is my head, and this is the way I like it the best. My wife?? just kinda indifferent and accepting as she knew I was tired of the hair however my Mom, once she saw the pics of FB, went ballistic!!! I mean, I'm 44. I haven't lived at home in 24 years and yet she still feels like she has influence on these matters. That's when I finally decided that I'm probably gonna keep it BBC for the rest of my life. I like it, it's me and if the folks around me don't like it then they don't have to shave their heads!!! It's that simple. Be true to YOU and the rest will follow.
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Jarheadj
"VERY WELL SAID!"
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Wow I just read this post and I thought what if I had had the same reactions. I haven't in fact so far I have nothing but compliments.But I think I would still feel the same about myself.
Shaving my head makes me feel strong, clean, smart and confident. I have approached work and social life in a different way. I make a stand, feel stronger and make positive decisions.
One thing I will say. You look great with a shaved head.
Stand tall, be confident, draw from the inner strength that making the bald desision gave you.
Look around this forum and feel part of something different.
You made a choice to try being bald and if it makes you feel good, project that feeling at others they'll soon get the message.
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You could just say this.....
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As someone who is very new to being sly... I just want to say you rock the look! The choice is completely yours but sly wears you well.
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Hey guys
Well I've been a bit quiet on the forum but have been logging in quite frequently and touching base with some fellow sly mates in my local area and just wondering how the heck do I ever become comfortable as a bald by choice sly guy?? I want this look and lifestyle so much but find so much resistance from everyone that I almost feel that I should give in to growing my hair back to a look I don't want! The struggle has been the inconsistency and convenience as I feel like there are certain periods where people don't care and other times where people feel like voicing their opinion on my bald by choice look. Any advice?????
One of our SBG members posted this up and this video definitely shows how one can gain confidence about one self. I don't know about you but once you have embraced your baldness than you should not give a crap about what others think. Please your self first and the others will follow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LBSIkugN-s
WARHAWK O0
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I have to say I find this thread very confusing? A haircut and let's face it when youshave hair and shave it off it's just a haircut (This whole BBC thing confuses me, and sometimes does sound slightly cult-like, to me it's just a haircut if it can come back). Struggling is a strong word, people struggle with their health of problems but a haircut??
I can understand someone struggling with losing their hair as there is no way back but other than that, it just feels a little dramatic. I found it hard when I decided my hair looked stupid and my forehead so large that having hair was not doing me any favours - now I just wish the rest of it would naff off.
We can't please everyone, so be true to yourself. I really don't see a hair cut as a lifestyle... sorry!
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I have to say that I agree with Slyest..you are Bald By Choice, the Choice thing is the key. You decided to go with the look you wanted, if you dont like it, you can fortunately grow it back.
Same with other hairstyles, others might not like a perm or highlights (God! Im SO 80's!) but if that person likes it, then who cares!
Opinions are like A Holes..EVERYONE has one!
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If you feel comfortable with a smooth head, just keep it smooth!. BBC is a style as any other. Most people shave their heads because of bald by nature issues, but there's no problem anyone having a full head shaving his/her head. Don't bother with other people comments, they'll get accostumed to your sly look and stop bothering you.. You look nice with a shaved scalp, go for it!
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You it is amazing what people think they may comment on regarding our choices in life. One woman I know told her son, "Oh my G_d! You're gonna make the biggest mistake of your life." Why? It's hair not an amputation. I fight the urge to be cross with people who do this sort of thing. I think you are within your rights to let them know their "input" is not appreciated.
My impish side wants to say, "Oh yeah? Thanks for the tip. Since we're on the subject of things we don't like...what were you thinking when you dressed this morning? "
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Do what makes you feel good
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Ride YOUR ride my brother! If this is what you want, and you are cool with it, do it! If others can't deal with it, that's their problem!
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I think the sly looks fits you well.
My mom hated the fact I kept buzzing my hair shorter and shorter to keep it more uniform. It was my choice. She also said things when it got to the point that I knew I had to shave it smooth. My family mostly said silly or rather "uneducated" things when they first saw it. They will get over it.
Most people who have such strong opinions about someone else's style (or whatever) have issues themselves and try to make you feel lesser about yourself so that they feel more 'in control.' Just tell them "I like my smooth head and I don't intend to change it," and they'll eventually move onto something else. If you truly enjoy the sly look, then you should be entitled to do whatever makes you happy. It hurts no one and it's just a haircut!
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As long as you enjoy it - - -don't worry what others think - - -It is a great look on you. Keep it.
I like this comment & feel that way about my beard too
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If I am understanding this correctly, everybody on this thread has misunderstood the intention of it. BBC many times means you had to hair and you went through the effort to have it Lasered off.
in either a male pattern shape or completely bald. There is no shaving about it! the person made a conscious decision to remove his hair permanently.
At least that's my understanding!
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Actually, BBC means a person that is fully capable of growing a full head of hair chooses to go bald by any means. It could be by razor, trimmer, clipper, laser, or whatever. Although after laser, the choice goes away, but it started as a choice. BBC is not necessarily permanent. Some guys go BBC and then regrow at times, some are seasonal (grow hair back for winter, etc.). Some view it as just another haircut style choice and change it.
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Sorry - duplicate
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You just have to give it time like i did. I've been bald for several years now and would look weird now if I had hair. Being bald feels clean and I don't think I could ever go back to having hair, not even a short buzz cut. Just hang in there and do what you want to do.
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Take it from one who has made the mistake and knows first hand what a "big mistake" really is:
The "Biggest Mistake of My LIfe" was listening to what other people told me about how to life my life - and worse yet; acting upon their direction!
I wasted my entire life because I bought in to what other people told me was the "right way to live" and what other people and institutions told me would bring me fulfillment.
If you even have the hint of a desire to opt for shaving your head nice and clean, and if you fail to fulfill your desire, _ then you will have made a mistake! Not because you look better or worse to others in their eyes - but because you denied yourself. You will not only have denied yourself the haircut you like, but you will have denigrated yourself in your own eyes! If you fail to wear the haircut you like, you are in essence telling yourself that they things you feel are "bad" or "wrong" or "not as good as" what others think, feel and do. If you fail to act upon your own feelings you are telling yourself that you are a "bad person".
It starts with something as trivial as a haircut, but it becomes a life pattern - until one day you wake up and find out that you have lived your whole life for others and that you are an old, lonely unfulfilled man.
Someone here who has wasted his entire life doing just that is begging you not to do the same thing! Please!
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If I am understanding this correctly, everybody on this thread has misunderstood the intention of it. BBC many times means you had to hair and you went through the effort to have it Lasered off.
in either a male pattern shape or completely bald. There is no shaving about it! the person made a conscious decision to remove his hair permanently.
At least that's my understanding!
Your understanding is wrong , at least as it means on this forum.
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Take it from me, just decide you dont care what others think of your choice. If being bbc is the look you want, then thats whst you should do, and stick with it until such a time as you personally dont want it anymore (unless bbc becomes bbn). If you stck to your guns, tell your loved ones that this is the look you like for yourself, then theyll eventually get used to it, and some of those who currently dont like it, may come to love the look on you. I let others opinions stop me from being bbc for much of my life, from the time i was in my late teens, until i was 37 (im 38 now, so most of my life). Finally decided, with the help of some events in my life that had me wanting some sort of change, i just didnt care what others think, im going to just do it, at least to give it a try. Now 1.5 years on, im finally happy with my look hairwise, and people i know and love are used to it. My other half loves the look on me, when he at first was one of the most vocal about disliking it, my closest friend recently said he cant even remember what i look like with hair anymore, and my mom, whose opinion was the main reason a waited all those years, doesnt say anything anymore, not that she had much to say to begin with since i did it around the same time she decided to stop fighting her greying hair. I couldnt be happier with my choice now, and eill probably remain bbc until my dying day, or until nature takes the choice away and makes me bbn. You'll be the same way if you just stick with it, let the naysayers know its what you want, you dont care what they think, blah, blah.
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I have to say I find this thread very confusing? A haircut and let's face it when youshave hair and shave it off it's just a haircut (This whole BBC thing confuses me, and sometimes does sound slightly cult-like, to me it's just a haircut if it can come back). Struggling is a strong word, people struggle with their health of problems but a haircut??
I can understand someone struggling with losing their hair as there is no way back but other than that, it just feels a little dramatic. I found it hard when I decided my hair looked stupid and my forehead so large that having hair was not doing me any favours - now I just wish the rest of it would naff off.
We can't please everyone, so be true to yourself. I really don't see a hair cut as a lifestyle... sorry!
This sums up my feelings perfectly. It's hair not an arm or a leg. Hair s completely irrelevant in the overall scheme of things.
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Absent some skin condition , I dont understand bbc. Seems like using a wheel chair for the hell of it
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Well Bill, I think it's just that people like different things. Although I am BBC and have a skin condition that goes away when I shave, shaving my head is a look I like. Before I shaved, I saw alot of guys with shaved heads and thought it looked great. Immediately after my first headshave, I liked the look and feel. I also grew to enjoy my daily headshave with a safety razor.
And yes, a shaved head is just another hairstyle, but one that requires a lot of maintenance. It takes a commitment to razor shave a head daily, along with the skincare routine. I laugh every time I read the having a shaved head saves you time and money.
So, as they say, different strokes for different folks.
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I should have more correctly said absent a skin condition I don't get it. The one positive Ive taken from it is a religious gym habbit in an attempt to build my upper body up to try and balance my freakishly large head....I'm pretty strong for a 47 year old man but I still look disproportionate
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Like the Rick Nelson song Garden party, a line says, you can't please everyone so you gotta please yourself
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@lsflipper true words!
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I’m not bbc if I had a good head of hair I doubt if shaving would be my thing . But for those that do , that’s their choice for what ever reason. What I think doesn’t matter , so shave on and enjoy. O0
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BBC, Bro, whats the deal. At least you have a choice. You have hair you can grow back. Look at us poor MPB guys, we cant grow back our hair. You BBC people can. Whats the struggle? I don't understand some of the BBC people on here, whining about should I be bald or grow my thick hair back. WOW! If only we MPB had that option. Give me a break.
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How about being harassed by people when you cant grow your hair back. Trying to explain that you don't want a sparse, stringy growth on the top of your head, so that's why I shave it down to the skin now. Its really hard for me to feel sorry for people who have a head full of hair and choose to shave it off(their choice, im not knocking that) and they cant cope with people saying stuff about it. Like I said, no sympathy. Try living life with no choices. BBC people have choices. Pick one. Have hair or shave it off, grow it back, don't grow it back. , style it, etc, or shave it all off. MPB guys don't, except for rugs, expensive hair restoration, etc. What a life us MPB guys have. Im telling you..... @c3
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How about being harassed by people when you cant grow your hair back. Trying to explain that you don't want a sparse, stringy growth on the top of your head, so that's why I shave it down to the skin now. Its really hard for me to feel sorry for people who have a head full of hair and choose to shave it off(their choice, im not knocking that) and they cant cope with people saying stuff about it. Like I said, no sympathy. Try living life with no choices. BBC people have choices. Pick one. Have hair or shave it off, grow it back, don't grow it back. , style it, etc, or shave it all off. MPB guys don't, except for rugs, expensive hair restoration, etc. What a life us MPB guys have. Im telling you..... @c3
Well, there are two ways to look at this...I do agree that people should not harass you because you decided to do something about your hairloss. However, while most men don't want to lose their hair, if hair loss is the worst thing to happen to you in life, you have it better than most. As for the BBC people, if shaving makes them happy, why do they need others' approval? As far as the MPB people, they do have a choice. Shave it or keep what you have left nice and neat. I have several MPB friends who elect to keep their fringes and it doesn't look bad. The novelty of shaving your head wouldn't be as fun if EVERY MPB man shaved his head anyway.
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^^^good advice^^^