Need some advice, bro's....any pearls of wisdom for me??

[samoanseb8]

I have a bit of a dilemma on my hands, I'm not sure quite what to do...its not a bad situation but weighing up the pro's and con's as well as moral considerations...basically I haven't dated in a long time, mainly because growing up in high school, there was a lot of dating, cheating etc going on with all my mates and I saw how much drama it caused so I kind of avoided relationships for a long time. Not to say I haven't had the odd fling here and there but nothing really consistent or serious. I guess maybe I'm a bit of a commitment-phobe...if that is a word...lol but recently I have started dating, i have been on a few dates with different girls, and to be honest, they have gone really well, and in the past few months, I have been on a few dates with 3 different girls, and they all seem nice, but I don't know if they are all what I am looking for in terms of having a chemistry or a connection...but sometimes I think that I'm still fairly young at 23, is it wrong to sort of have a physical relationship with more than one, or is that messing around with peoples feelings too much...that is one thing that has kept me from doing it in the past, and If i do go down that road, maybe i'd be just like a lot of other scumbag guys that use girls...I don't really want to meet my perfect match like years down the road and have no relationship experience, that would be kind of naive...any advice for me guys??

[TANK25]

You are young ,take your time and the right one will come around. I just hope you are being honest with the three girls that you are dealing with now.If you telling each one that they are the only one you are seeing,that is not cool. As long as you are being honest with them,I don`t see anything wrong with it.

[The Scottish Ambassador]

You are young ,take your time and the right one will come around. I just hope you are being honest with the three girls that you are dealing with now.If you telling each one that they are the only one you are seeing,that is not cool. As long as you are being honest with them,I don`t see anything wrong with it.

Many words of wisdom from Brother Tank. Nothin more I can add

[FrankyG]

Yeah, have to agree with above. I stopped dating for a bit after things got broken off with my fiance, and I started openly dating. Well forgot to tell the ladies I was dating that this was what I was doing, and caused a lot of hurt feelings. So yeah definitley ensure they know up front what your intentions are.

[Timmay]

 Its simple, You will know when you find the right one..

[Papa Don]

Tanks a smart guy!  Listen to him

[schro]

If you're being physical with multiple gals, please be careful. No need to play russian roulette with your pecker.

As far as the relationship part of it, take your time. At 23, you've still got a lot of growing up to do (for that matter, so do I at 42). I know that if I met the Lovely Mrs. Schro at 23, she would have totally blown me off....I was not ready for a committed relationship. Glad I waited.

Cheers!

[ChromeDomeJohn]

nothing wrong with dating two or three girls at the same time as long as you are honest with them; that they know you are seeing other girls and that the dates are just 'friendly'.    You are right in having misgivings about having a 'physical relationship' with more than one girl.  Being inimate (i.e. having sex) should go with commitment; and any girl you are having sex with has the right to think you are now 'exclusive'  (some would say that sex is reserved for marriage; but let's not go there).  But again if you are thinking that if you are having sex with more than one girl, you are just another 'scumbag guy' ... you will be right.

[samoanseb8]

Thanks a lot guys, some great points and advice...helped me a lot. I think being honest is the best thing you can do in this situation, i'll see how it pans out!!

[Ghost1988]

nothing wrong with dating two or three girls at the same time as long as you are honest with them; that they know you are seeing other girls and that the dates are just 'friendly'.    You are right in having misgivings about having a 'physical relationship' with more than one girl.  Being inimate (i.e. having sex) should go with commitment; and any girl you are having sex with has the right to think you are now 'exclusive'  (some would say that sex is reserved for marriage; but let's not go there).  But again if you are thinking that if you are having sex with more than one girl, you are just another 'scumbag guy' ... you will be right.

wow....that was harsh lol.

[MindTaker]

I have a bit of a dilemma on my hands, I'm not sure quite what to do...its not a bad situation but weighing up the pro's and con's as well as moral considerations...basically I haven't dated in a long time, mainly because growing up in high school, there was a lot of dating, cheating etc going on with all my mates and I saw how much drama it caused so I kind of avoided relationships for a long time. Not to say I haven't had the odd fling here and there but nothing really consistent or serious. I guess maybe I'm a bit of a commitment-phobe...if that is a word...lol but recently I have started dating, i have been on a few dates with different girls, and to be honest, they have gone really well, and in the past few months, I have been on a few dates with 3 different girls, and they all seem nice, but I don't know if they are all what I am looking for in terms of having a chemistry or a connection...but sometimes I think that I'm still fairly young at 23, is it wrong to sort of have a physical relationship with more than one, or is that messing around with peoples feelings too much...that is one thing that has kept me from doing it in the past, and If i do go down that road, maybe i'd be just like a lot of other scumbag guys that use girls...I don't really want to meet my perfect match like years down the road and have no relationship experience, that would be kind of naive...any advice for me guys??

man we're so in the same boat, only difference i've been in relationships, longest one was 2 years. And it might just be the reason why I'm a commitment-phobe myself. Thats  a really way to describe it actually, I can totally relate.

I've been dating some nice girls as well but mostly end up wanting something more and attach themselves, in which leads to complications since i dont feel the need of commitment in this period of my life. It sucks to sometimes lose contact with some of these awsome ladies, most of them would be on the same wavlength and I wouldnt mind some, as a partner. But I don't know, i don't think right now relationships are for me, I'm focusing on my self-growth and career at the moment. Still I'm on the same boat, trying to figure out what shall I do. Everything has its co's and pro's i guess.