Confidence and Success > Relationships/Dating

Don't Run For Cover

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aleutiancowboy:
When discussing dating relations, confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac or relationship-builder because of the way it so smoothly puts others at ease, often without them even knowing it. When people perceive confidence in another person, it is rarely because the person projecting confidence is deliberately drawing attention to himself by, for example, talking about himself in some fashion. Gloating is usually perceived as arrogance, not confidence. Rather, a confident person feels no need to assert himself or his qualities unnecessarily; he projects confidence by directing his focus and attention outward.

The first step in gaining confidence is sprucing up your appearance. Go beyond simply being presentable. Take the necessary steps to make yourself feel like you look completely tip-top for the occasion -- and leave no room for feeling self-conscious about something, such as hair loss, that could throw you off.

Situations that demand you to project confidence are never the best times to take chances with how you look. This is an instance in which the odds are not justified by the potential payoff. Confidence does not overtly draw attention to itself, but this is precisely what would happen if you gamble on your appearance. What happens if a women asks, “Is that a new shirt?” or “Where did you get those shoes?” You answer them and expect a follow-up compliment on their part, but you don’t get it. Suddenly you’re left questioning your outfit, and it is precisely this kind of self-conscious questioning that saps you of your confidence. Bottom line craft your appearance so that, once you leave home, you never think about it again and are able to fully project confidence – DON’T RUN FOR COVER.

If you're contemplating artificial means of hiding, enhancing or covering your hair loss, you may want to think twice about it. You'll pay in more ways than one. Hair plugs, where hair is harvested from the side and back of your head and transplanted to the top, are expensive, painful and can permanently scar. Toupees and hairpieces aren't cheap either, and they're high maintenance. Plus, do you really want a girl running her hands through your "hair," only to discover it isn't your hair? Talk about a mood killer.

Don't be like celebrities who cover up their hair loss; William Shatner acts like he has hair, with his toupee right there on his head. Elton John sings about world peace, but the only piece we notice is the one on his head. Look around and you'll see aging hippies, bald on top with a ponytail in the back; middle-aged businessmen with combovers flying high in the wind; and assorted guys with rows of freshly planted hair, looking conspicuous on an otherwise bald head. These solutions make you look ridiculous, especially for younger men. Just try and imagine Laurence Fishburne with a hairpiece or Woody Harrelson with a combover. So if you're still fighting Mother Nature, it's time to toss that toupee, crop that combover and chop that ponytail.


You can't save it so shave it. Be like Mike. It's time to play ball, so just do it. Prepare yourself for the looks of amazement you'll get from your girlfriend, family and friends. But you'll be surprised by how many people genuinely compliment your new do. Start with electric shears like the barber uses. Once you've sheared the heavy stuff, it's time to close the deal. Lather up with shaving gel, which offers a closer, smoother shave than shaving cream. Use whichever razor brand you regularly buy for the best shaving results. Start at the top and shave down with the grain.

Watch what you're doing in the back with a small hand mirror or use your free hand and go buy feel. Shaving your dome only takes a few minutes and will leave you with a satisfied feeling.

From here on in, treat your head like your face. Wash regularly with moisturizing soap (with aloe), instead of a harsh deodorant soap that can dry out the skin on your head. You'll want to buy a quality color-free and fragrance-free moisturizer to apply after every wash. For the summer, find a moisturizer with an SPF of at least 15 to avoid sunburn on your head. And you'll need a warm hat in cold weather to maintain your body heat.

Bald is beautiful; in the beginning, you might feel naked. It'll take some time to get used to that new guy looking at you in the mirror. Your buddies will toss some "cue ball" jokes your way at first. But this will only last a few days, until you get a little color on your head.

Sporting a shaved head can actually make you look younger. It's a hip style these days. Many men in their 20s, blessed with full heads of hair, shave just for the look. And it can help you in business. A clean-cut head helps present a sharp, orderly and professional image. That's why it works so well in the military. Conversely, if you're the creative type, a bald head lends you immediate artistic, hipster credibility. Additionally, you'll get a little more respect on the street. Look at what it did for Vin Diesel. Tough guy comes to mind.

Women won't know whether you're really bald, or doing it for the cool look. Many will dig it and ask to feel your head. Check out Taye Diggs. Chick magnet is an apt description. You're in good company now. So wear your new style with confidence and a smile, like Bruce Willis.

Mike:
That was awesome, I am going to have to save this.

xnewyawka:
Excellent post, cowboy. This should be required reading for all new guys, especially fence sitters.   O0 

sq:
Excellent post - thanks for putting in your time on that

crazycoop:
great read!  i give it  O0 O0

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