Insulted on a mass level!!

[jasonworld]

Okay, guys I thought long about this before even posting because it's very personal and has to do with family. I got to thinking and said well maybe someday it might help another sly out there. The sad part is I had a death in the family earlier this week my sister n' law passed away from Lupus and she left behind 3 beautiful children and my brother who is also a sly. They had two boys and one girl going from age 20,15,and the girl 13.

I'm devastated from the whole thing and feel for my nephews and niece loss . I do what ever I can to help for the situation. The night of the viewing at the funeral home. I stand with my brother and other family members at the casket to greet people coming in to pay there last respect. I'm all tears and everything, then when the traffic starts to come in and people come to greet me the responses start to set in. Granted I have only been sly for maybe four to five years and a lot of these people have not seen me in years but damn do they have to be so blunt or rude?

I guess there was about 350 to 400 people that came in to visit and I guess that I was insulted  about 50 times. I was okay about the first 10- Hey Jason good to see you but what happened to you? Do you really like the Mr.Clean look or why do you do that?You should grow your hair back out or you look like whatever.You know to many insults to name. After about 45 minutes the remarks just kept piling up and I just would respond you know I really like it. I would get some pretty rude responses back in one form or another. Damn after two hours my nerves where gone and I was shaking from head to toe!!! I could not believe the mass volume of abuse I had just went through in such a bad time but I was strong for my brother and family and did not let it show.

I also could tell the people who really did not like it because they would not even look me in the eye. Damn it was so different from the every day normal routine!!!Another thing that was so weird about that night was out of all those people that came in, I only saw about three other Sly's. One being my brother,me and a high school teacher that was friends with my nephew he was so cool he made me feel better because of the way he carried his self. I did get a lot of sympathy for the loss that night and even three or four I like the low style on you but it was still one of the worst nights ever!!I was so tired the next day and exhausted it took me till now to even be able to talk about it!.

On a good note today I was in a restaurant and a girl I know was talking to her friends and she had gone on a diet and lost 30 pounds but she looks to skinny now and everyone was making fun of her. I could tell she was getting sick of the remarks(damn put some weight back on girl you have no butt now or boobs) so I was Sly and spoke up and asked her if she was happy with her new look and she said yes and I then replied to her that she still looked very good(to bad she is married lol) I got a big grin from her!!!!

[SLYinKC]

Sorry to hear about your experiences.  There is no excuse for behavior like that. 
 

[Razor X]

On the bright side,  you probably won't see most of those people again for quite a while.  So what do their opinions really matter?

[Timmay]

just to be honest, if that were me, I would have probably had my feel of it and would have popped back off to someone.  I would have said  Thank you for cming to visit me during a very difficult time for my family, your words have really lifted my spirits, thank you for trying to tell me how to look better....Next!

[clipped]

I have found, based on personal experience with the death of a child, that many people just do not know what to say to a bereived person such as you in difficult such a situation like this. So, they end up saying something stupid (i.e., about your hairstyle ...how ireveleant is that to your grief??) or giving irelevant, unhelpful advice or offering empty help.  Sorry to say, it's part of what you put up with in a grieving situation.  In my case, I just chalked it up to the certain visitors' awkwardness and tried to appreciate the fact that they came....even if they booted their attempt at condolence, and appreciated the kind expressions of sympathy that everyone offered , although 5 years later I still remember certain people and the inanne things they said.   It's difficult... you should be comforted and you end up being put on the defensive for your choice of hairstyle.  So, my sincere condolences on the loss of your sister-in-law.  And please keep the faith about your personal choices for hairstyle.

[Kratos]

Sorry to hear about the loss. But that kind of  behavior is absolutely uncalled for. I give you a lot of credit for staying strong and being able to have some control, especially in that kind of situation. If it were me, I'd probably end up not being able to take it, and start screaming at those who insulted me. I've had my fair share of negative reactions, and I wont lie, it really pisses me off sometimes. Anyway, stick with the sly look because to me you look great.

[Dome of Steele]

You might want to have this post transferred to members only if you want it to be more private. 
I'm sorry both for your personal loss and the bad experience at the funeral. 

All I can say is that it sucks.  Maybe you can chalk it up to people not knowing what to say, and just wanting to say anything but something about the elephant in the room. 

[hammerdrill376]

First let me say I am sorry for your loss and your family is in my prayers.

As for the other people sounds like they were just disrespectful and rude. Fact is if we stand in a room with 50 different people we can get 50 different opinions of what they think of us. Truth is the only opinion that matters is the one we have of ourself. If the rest want to be narrowminded let them be. They are only damaging themselves.

[anaboliQ]

That sucks. Unfortunately I can relate to this all too well.  My best friend/uncle passed away at age 33 and I had been rather unsly and ashamed of my completely bald head for many years (totally bald @ 21) and have worn a ballcap everyyday since I was 11 years old so only my closest people and few lady friends were wise to it.  At the funeral I had to be openly sly whether I liked it or not and got a lot of the same comments from people and it continued on throughout the party afterwards.  I felt like crap....not just from the insults but in my own vanity at such a time where my head wasn't the most important to grieve about.  But the secret was out and I was sort of relieved as the next few days went on.  Just in the past few months I have finally let go of all the negative stuff and am finally getting confidence in my slyness. People can be douchebags but I had to finally get over it and develop some self confidence.

[PeripheralxMvmnt]

as much as it might have bothered you, youre a good man for not going off on those people.


like the brothers said, how often will you see those people?

[GaryT]

Hey Jason,

Very sorry for your loss. Let me also say people can be total jerks, but you proved that you don't have to stoop to those levels. Sad event but you can hold your head high bro!! Hang in there bro, it'll get better!

[Papa Don]

Jason, let me say how sorry I am for your loss. My prayers are for you and your family members.  I am totally proud of you for tolerating the rude masses.  May they endure the same rudeness ten times over!

[DCdome]

Jason,

Your story is a truly sad one.  You were put in a very ackward situation.

You were facing your own grief over the death of your sister-in-law and also there as an important support for your brother and the children.

That's a situation where you do not want to create "a scene," even a minor one, so you did the right thing in keeping your comments to yourself.  Shows a real maturity, man.

What's important now is to continue to "be there" for your brother and the children.  They will be needing your support in the weeks ahead.

BTW, it's kinda neat to have a bald bro who is really your bro.

[Rob]

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss and the bad reactions.  Lookin at your pic, I can hardly believe it, because you are one of the bros whoo I would say most suited the SLY look.   It must have been a real shock that they had these reactions after you have been SLY for four or five years.

It seems awful that these people had to be so petty about your appearence when there were more important things to think about, and it amazes me how disrespectful they were at such a sad time.

As some of the bros have said, at least you won't have to see them again for a long time, god willing.

[tomgallagher]

Sorry for your loss bro. I will keep her in my prayers. Whatever happened to extending your condolences and moving on. People can be such assholes.