The new "Swearing at Work Policy"

• The new "Swearing at Work Policy" by bmwgsa on 06 Feb, 2007 10:29
• It has been brought to Management's attention that some individuals
  throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
  normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from
  some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no
  longer be tolerated. We do however; realize the critical 
  importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when
  communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative
  phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information
  can continue in an effective manner.
  
               1) TRY SAYING:
               I think you could use more training.
               INSTEAD OF:
               You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
  
  
               2) TRY SAYING:
               She's an aggressive go-getter.
               INSTEAD OF:
               She's a ball-busting b__ch.
  
  
               3) TRY SAYING:
               Perhaps I can work late.
               INSTEAD OF:And w hen the f___ do you expect me to do this?
  
  
               4) TRY SAYING:
               I'm certain that isn't feasible.
               INSTEAD OF:
               No f___ing way.
  
  
               5) TRY SAYING:
               Really?
               INSTEAD OF:
               You've got to be sh__ing me!
  
               6) TRY SAYING:
               Perhaps you should check with...
               INSTEAD OF:
               Tell someone who gives a sh__.
  
  
               7) TRY SAYING:
               I wasn't involved in the project.
               INSTEAD OF:
               It's not my f____ing problem.
  
  
                TRY SAYING:
               That's interesting.
               INSTEAD OF:
               What the f___?
  
  
               9) TRY SAYING:
               I'm not sure this can be implemented.
               INSTEAD OF:
               This sh__ won't work.
  
  
               10) TRY SAYING:
               I'll try to schedule that.
               INSTEAD OF:
               Why the f___ing h _ll didn't you tell me sooner?
  
  
               11) TRY SAYING:
               He's not familiar with the issues.
               INSTEAD OF:
               He's got his head up his a__.
  
  
               12) TRY SAYING:
               Excuse me, sir?
               INSTEAD OF:
               Eat sh__ and die.
  
               13) TRY SAYING:
               So you weren't ! happy w ith it?
               INSTEAD OF:
               Kiss my a__.
  
  
               14) TRY SAYING:
               I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
               INSTEAD OF:
               F___ it, I'm on salary.
  
  
               15) TRY SAYING:
               I don't think you understand.
               INSTEAD OF:
               Shove it up your a__.
  
               16) TRY SAYING:
               I love a challenge.
               INSTEAD OF:
               This job su_ks.
  
  
               17) TRY SAYING:
               You want me to take care of that?
               INSTEAD OF:
               Who the h___ died and made you boss?
  
  
               18 ) TRY SAYING:
               He's somewhat insensitive.
               INSTEAD OF:
               He's a pr_ck.
  
   
  
  
  
               Thank You,
               Human Resources
  
  
   
  
  
• #1 by frostillicus123 on 06 Feb, 2007 17:33
• Nice