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False Confidence....... by PBurke on 25 Aug, 2008 16:25
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Do any of you guys/gals suffer from this? sometimes i think i do. Everyone thinks i am this very confident person. in reality it ain't so. about some things maybe, but in general i have learned how to fake it real well. when i go out with friends i get looks and smiles from lay-days and still am not usually confident enough to talk to them. or if i do, i find myself apologizing alot. what is really weird about it is, i can watch my buddies and help them out. give them ideas on how to get the women like them and talk more. but i can't seem to do it myself. anyone have any ideas how i can change this or at least feel better about myself? thanks in advance guys/gals
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#1 by slyinglide on 25 Aug, 2008 16:34
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Man your not alone........even the most confident person in the world still has self doubt in some aspects of their life. It's a truly CONFIDENT person that knows these weaknesses and strives to overcome them......
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#2 by Tyler on 25 Aug, 2008 17:10
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One of the things that helped me with women and other confidence issues is knowing that when I talked to a woman and got rejected, the reality is that she will forget about that event within 24 hours of me being rejected. This lead me to forget about being embarrassed when this happens and to just move on to the next one.
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#3 by SonOfKrypton on 25 Aug, 2008 17:25
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One of the things that helped me with women and other confidence issues is knowing that when I talked to a woman and got rejected, the reality is that she will forget about that event within 24 hours of me being rejected. This lead me to forget about being embarrassed when this happens and to just move on to the next one.
Another thing to add to this is that when a woman rejects you or your approach, don't make the mistake of taking it personally. I repeat: Do Not Take It Personally. What she rejected was your game, your tactic, your approach.....not YOU. If you take it as YOU, you will simply hurt yourself and stifle your future efforts. If anything, take it like this: What would you do if you DID kick up a convo with her, got to expressing your opinion (though this is fact), that Batman The Dark Knight is the greatest movie of all time and she tells you no, Brokeback Mountain (or whatever) is....What's wrong with her in this respect. I'll tell you what's wrong with her: She has TERRIBLE TASTE. Who's to say her sense of terrible taste doesn't permeate every facet of her life, INCLUDING (but not limited to) her taste in men??? A rejection by a woman is not a rejection of YOU. Period. Get over it, learn from it, and move on.
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#4 by nomad on 27 Aug, 2008 00:46
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Another thing to look at is that talking to women is like anything else you do in life it takes practice. the first time you played ball or shot pool you probably weren't the best at it but you kept playing and got better, its the same thing with talking to ladies or anyone else for that matter. You have to practice, go out as much as you can and practice, you will get shot down from time to time, just learn what you might have done wrong and fix it. The more you do this the better you'll get at it
People don't remember the rejections you get they remember the conquests you made
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#5 by Mikekoz13 on 27 Aug, 2008 04:59
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Well i know this will sound conceited but it is not meant to be. I never worried about being turned down by a woman. I would always just say, "No problem" and move on. I always looked at it like this......their loss. Why? Because it was a chance for them to go out with someone that was a lot of fun and would treat them with respect. A guy with a sharp wit and a passion for life. I also always believed that if they said no, they weren't the "one" anyway.
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#6 by dog20 on 27 Aug, 2008 05:25
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Women should just approach us, its not like we will say no... unless they are ugly.
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#7 by Robmeister on 27 Aug, 2008 08:00
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Women should just approach us...
Join or start a serious rock band....
Otherwise....the universe just don't work like that -
#8 by schro on 27 Aug, 2008 08:15
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Or just get an AWESOME grill.
The ladies love 'em. -
#9 by Robmeister on 27 Aug, 2008 09:20
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Well u most be doing something wrong if the lay-Days are not comeing to you...
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#10 by Northernlion on 27 Aug, 2008 09:30
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Read The Game/other pickup resources and PRACTICE THEM if this is a significant source of stress for you. It's like math -- some people are just naturally gifted and some people aren't. If you aren't, you can't just ask how to be better at math, you have to read books/take classes/practice, practice, practice.
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#11 by Timmay on 27 Aug, 2008 09:53
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I have already confronted birdman
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#12 by Timmay on 27 Aug, 2008 10:00
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OH yes I did Birdman...did I not send you a pm ?
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#13 by dog20 on 27 Aug, 2008 10:02
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I can see it now...
just kidding
, you just gotta put yourself out there bro and keep on trying.
edit: aww crap, good luck reading that guys lol! -
#14 by Timmay on 27 Aug, 2008 10:15
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quit being a jackass and take it off birdman...is it that hard to understand?