Getting it off my chest

[MagmaBabe]

No one can state what another person feels unless they are in that persons body, be they fish or humanoid.  To claim otherwise is ludicrous.   Let's just support each other through positive and meaningful exchanges.

I didn't claim telepathy. Vash said his feelings in the OP. I thought my advice was constructive. Maybe it's good, maybe it stinks, but he said he was willing to read "ANYTHING". I haven't insulted him, but simply gave my observations about a possible source to his situation and a way to remedy it.

well maybe you should work a little harder on the way you like to put across your 'observations'

[Tanizaki]

yeah, on paper, I'm sure it is. That's the great thing about theory.

Actually, it is a fact in reality, not just on paper. A theory is not a "guess". A theory is an explanation of observed facts. For example, you have probably noticed that things fall down. That observation of gravity is a "fact". The "theory of gravity" is the explanation of that fact. First there was Newton's theory, which Einstein improved with general relativity. It now is beginning to appear that the Pioneer anomaly means that further revision of gravity theory is needed. Despite this, the fact of gravity has not changed.

Of course, I am assuming you accept the fact of gravity and don't subscribe to some idea of "Intelligent Falling" where angels push everything down to keep stuff from flying off into space. (until it hits the firmament, that is)

[schro]

Vash,
I think what you want is similar to what everyone else wants.....a chance to find someone who enjoys your company and you enjoy hers.
Someone that misses you when you're gone (and vice-versa). Someone that loves you for you.

I think the idea of you focusing on yourself works wonders. I know when I was dating and went through a break up, I gave off a bad vibe (ok, a desperate one) once I finished my period of grief from the break up. Good things happen to you when you are yourself and take things in stride. The real you comes out, REGARDLESS OF APPEARANCE. I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of piercings, but I know several ladies (sorry Vash, all married) that dig the pierced look on a guy. I'm sure you'll find someone that likes you for you.

Enjoy life, be yourself, stay positive and good things will happen.

Hang in there.
Schro

[MagmaBabe]

yeah, on paper, I'm sure it is. That's the great thing about theory.

Actually, it is a fact in reality, not just on paper. A theory is not a "guess". A theory is an explanation of observed facts. For example, you have probably noticed that things fall down. That observation of gravity is a "fact". The "theory of gravity" is the explanation of that fact. First there was Newton's theory, which Einstein improved with general relativity. It now is beginning to appear that the Pioneer anomaly means that further revision of gravity theory is needed. Despite this, the fact of gravity has not changed.

Of course, I am assuming you accept the fact of gravity and don't subscribe to some idea of "Intelligent Falling" where angels push everything down to keep stuff from flying off into space. (until it hits the firmament, that is)

yeah... because we have been studying evolution for millions of years, haven't we?!! Haven't we??? Because when we went through the whole monkey change thing... we observed that!! Which is why we still see it happening today. Puhleeease! Don't bother trying to dazzle anyone with your theories. We were talking about evolution for a start.. where the f**k did gravity come into it?!!
the only one that needs hitting in the firmament around here is you.

[MagmaBabe]

Vash,
I think what you want is similar to what everyone else wants.....a chance to find someone who enjoys your company and you enjoy hers.
Someone that misses you when you're gone (and vice-versa). Someone that loves you for you.

I think the idea of you focusing on yourself works wonders. I know when I was dating and went through a break up, I gave off a bad vibe (ok, a desperate one) once I finished my period of grief from the break up. Good things happen to you when you are yourself and take things in stride. The real you comes out, REGARDLESS OF APPEARANCE. I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of piercings, but I know several ladies (sorry Vash, all married) that dig the pierced look on a guy. I'm sure you'll find someone that likes you for you.

Enjoy life, be yourself, stay positive and good things will happen.

Hang in there.
Schro

great post Schro     

[Tanizaki]

yeah, on paper, I'm sure it is. That's the great thing about theory.

Actually, it is a fact in reality, not just on paper. A theory is not a "guess". A theory is an explanation of observed facts. For example, you have probably noticed that things fall down. That observation of gravity is a "fact". The "theory of gravity" is the explanation of that fact. First there was Newton's theory, which Einstein improved with general relativity. It now is beginning to appear that the Pioneer anomaly means that further revision of gravity theory is needed. Despite this, the fact of gravity has not changed.

Of course, I am assuming you accept the fact of gravity and don't subscribe to some idea of "Intelligent Falling" where angels push everything down to keep stuff from flying off into space. (until it hits the firmament, that is)

yeah... because we have been studying evolution for millions of years, haven't we?!! Haven't we??? Because when we went through the whole monkey change thing... we observed that!! Which is why we still see it happening today. Puhleeease! Don't bother trying to dazzle anyone with your theories. We were talking about evolution for a start.. where the f**k did gravity come into it?!!
the only one that needs hitting in the firmament around here is you.

I am taking this to a new thread in the Misc so as not to hijack Vash's thread.

Good luck, Vash.

[MagmaBabe]

yeah, on paper, I'm sure it is. That's the great thing about theory.

Actually, it is a fact in reality, not just on paper. A theory is not a "guess". A theory is an explanation of observed facts. For example, you have probably noticed that things fall down. That observation of gravity is a "fact". The "theory of gravity" is the explanation of that fact. First there was Newton's theory, which Einstein improved with general relativity. It now is beginning to appear that the Pioneer anomaly means that further revision of gravity theory is needed. Despite this, the fact of gravity has not changed.

Of course, I am assuming you accept the fact of gravity and don't subscribe to some idea of "Intelligent Falling" where angels push everything down to keep stuff from flying off into space. (until it hits the firmament, that is)

yeah... because we have been studying evolution for millions of years, haven't we?!! Haven't we??? Because when we went through the whole monkey change thing... we observed that!! Which is why we still see it happening today. Puhleeease! Don't bother trying to dazzle anyone with your theories. We were talking about evolution for a start.. where the f**k did gravity come into it?!!
the only one that needs hitting in the firmament around here is you.

I am taking this to a new thread in the Misc so as not to hijack Vash's thread.

Good luck, Vash.

so noble of you!

[Tanizaki]

I am taking this to a new thread in the Misc so as not to hijack Vash's thread.

Good luck, Vash.

so noble of you!

Being noble is part of being "upper crust".

I'll see you here.

[MagmaBabe]

no you won't.
I've said all I've gotta say to ya. other than you're a dickhead. 

[no1birdman]

You might not like what he says but no reason to call him names.Vash asked for coments  and his apearance might put people off, he could change it for a bit and see how how he goes on.

[Vash]

I may have missed it in the OP, but I didn't see that you mentioned what you do for a living. I don't suppose you're in upper management?

(you said not to hold back)

I appreciate candor wherever I can find it. So no worries there.

As to what I do. I am actually in management. And about as "upper" as it gets in my field. I am the Head Chef and Kitchen Manager at a successful and well established (45 years in business) restaurant/bar in NE Portland. I have a staff of 15 working under me and I make good money. I am also a semi-pro musician with a sucessful band in Oregon and beyond.

I just happen to be one of those lucky few who has found a an employer who can understand and reconcile that the way I am most comfortable looking has no impact on my work ethic or abilities. I am professionally quite popular with the ownership, my staff and our clientèle.

And just for the sake of saying it. I really wasn't looking to start any arguments with this thread. Like I said, just doing a bit of "sharing" and seeking advice. And thanks everyone for giving it.

I also want to clarify that I don't feel "offended" by much of anything these days. I know very well that I have made (and daily make) a conscious decision to not look like everyone else. I have no illusions as to the kinds of reactions it provokes. I'm not hurt by it, I'm not offended or even bothered by it.

I understand that my chosen appearance is (or can be) an obstacle in some arenas. But I have found that it generally works to my advantage as most people tend to underestimate my education, intelligence and personality. Which gives me an opportunity to change their minds for the better.  I understand completely that I make some people uncomfortable and that some people will have questions or pre-concieved notions about my lifestyle choices. I have a very realistic attitude about this.

All I'm saying is that I am looking for somebody who cares about it as little as I do. Someone who maybe even finds the choices I make attractive and admirable.

Anyway, just clarifying, and I'm sorry to have gotten an argument going.

[hammerdrill376]

Hey Vash..Personally I am not a fan of piercings..though I do have a wolf tatto on my left arm. Two things come to mind though. First be happy with YOU. If you like yourself the way YOU are great, everyone elses opinion is 2nd place. As far as a companion in life goes I know of women who are very much into piercings and appearances such as yours. Put your focus on what you want in a woman and sooner or later she will appear in your life. Just don't put focus on what you DON't want (I don't want to be alone, I don't want to live by myself, etc.) Seems the more we focus on what we DON'T want, the more of that shows up in our lives.  By the way, if you have not read the book "The Secret" I would recommend it. 

[Razor X]

....Vash asked for coments  and his apearance might put people off, he could change it for a bit and see how how he goes on.

Yes, his appearance might put some women off but they are probably not the ones he's interested in being with anyway.  Piercings are not everyone's cup of tea, but there are plenty of people who are into that sort of thing.  No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.

[MagmaBabe]

....Vash asked for coments  and his apearance might put people off, he could change it for a bit and see how how he goes on.

Yes, his appearance might put some women off but they are probably not the ones he's interested in being with anyway.  Piercings are not everyone's cup of tea, but there are plenty of people who are into that sort of thing.  No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.

 

[Tanizaki]

No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.

While I mostly agree with this, that was not my point. I was talking about the first impression that one makes before one starts a relationship.

Men tend to enter relationships thinking that the woman will never change. Women tend to enter relationship thinking that the man will change. Both are wrong.