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#75 by Pshrynk on 26 Jun, 2008 12:17
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^^^
Brilliant idea, faith of all kinds is a crucial support for lots of people.
Hp291? -
#76 by Hp291 on 26 Jun, 2008 13:08
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I never BLAMED anyone. Where do I blame people? I blame my hairloss and how it makes me feel. That's all. I tried about 4 therapists. Sorry I forgot the shrink. That makes 5. I tried many different kinds of therapies: CBT, talk, meds, EMDR, energy healing even lol. I'm not talking out of my ass here. My point was that it's not a logical thing. I'm not someone who comes from an abusive home and abuses their wife and kids and doesn't know why. I'm not closed off where I don't talk about how I feel. My problem is I feel everything. And this baldness just killed me. So nothing a therapist said or could say can change how I feel. I have to feel differently. Have tried many different things to feel diifferently. It's a very slow process.
And no I'm not religious and I think religion is silly to begin with. I have had it suggested to me before. You didn't offend me with the suggestion or anything. I'll listen to any suggestions. -
#77 by Pshrynk on 26 Jun, 2008 15:25
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I tried about 4 therapists. Sorry I forgot the shrink. That makes 5. I tried many different kinds of therapies: CBT, talk, meds, EMDR, energy healing even lol. I'm not talking out of my ass here. My point was that it's not a logical thing. I'm not someone who comes from an abusive home and abuses their wife and kids and doesn't know why. I'm not closed off where I don't talk about how I feel. My problem is I feel everything. And this baldness just killed me. So nothing a therapist said or could say can change how I feel. I have to feel differently. Have tried many different things to feel diifferently. It's a very slow process.
Bald shmald. It's another excuse.
So if you've seen 5 therapists and made no progress.... What does that tell YOU about YOU.
The life change you want to make is largely about taking personal responsibility and learning how to best improve yourself.
Again, it has nothing to do with what the therapist says or does --- it's about what YOU do!!!
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#78 by Robmeister on 26 Jun, 2008 17:07
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It's another excuse.....it's about what YOU do!!!
There is a point....therapy or more therapy....where you have to...HAVE TO, MAN....have to accept responsibility to cowboy up.....get out there and quit whinin' about it.....
DISCLAIMER: If you're bi-polar, manic depressive, or have other diagnosed mental issues....then we all need to be understanding, sympathetic and back off and hope for the best for ya, man....leave it to the professionals.
Other than that, we understand it's "a process" of sorts but....It's kinda like reading books on job hunting.....You can read all the best books (The best "5")....you can learn and internalize all the methods.....absorb all the great input....even read more great books.....go to the best seminars.
But ya ain't gonna get nowhere until ya put the suit on and hit the bricks, baby.
As a sales manager I used to be EXASPERATED by whiny sales folk who complained about not making enough money, or how bad their territory was, or how bad this or that was.....I'd hand them great sales reading material...point them to excellent seminars....
Sales can be scary....push ya outa yer comfort zone....but these pantywastes were wasting all their time whinin' and not gettin' out and gettin' in front of people.....cowboyin' up.....doin' what ya have to do REGARDLESS OF INWARD RESISTANCE (one of my favorite bytes). -
#79 by Pshrynk on 26 Jun, 2008 17:44
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DISCLAIMER: If you're bi-polar, manic depressive, or have other diagnosed mental issues....then we all need to be understanding, sympathetic and back off and hope for the best for ya, man....leave it to the professionals.
Good point,
....however, even if their are mental health issues there is still an element of personal responsibility -- about getting the help you need and taking care of yourself.
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#80 by hammerdrill376 on 28 Jun, 2008 16:52
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Hey man,
I sure don't have all the answers for you but here are a few thoughts. First don't live your life looking in the rear view mirror. You are sure to crash every time. Take a few moments, hours or days for some quite time. Turn everything and I mean everything off and just contemplate what you want to do with your life. Its amazing what can come to you in silence. Think about the things you really like doing and maybe there is something out there related to your passions in life.
I understand what you are going through in a way. I have been in the pest control businesss since in my twenties. Alot of it involves crawling under homes and up into attics almost daily. First from the physical aspect my body is telling me...hey man..its time for a change. Second I am just really burned out on it.
Alot of what I do involves selling and customer relations so I will most likely go into another sales field and as stated on earlier posts there are alot of SLY guys in sales.
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#81 by Hp291 on 01 Jul, 2008 09:00
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Hey man,
I sure don't have all the answers for you but here are a few thoughts. First don't live your life looking in the rear view mirror. You are sure to crash every time. Take a few moments, hours or days for some quite time. Turn everything and I mean everything off and just contemplate what you want to do with your life. Its amazing what can come to you in silence. Think about the things you really like doing and maybe there is something out there related to your passions in life.
I understand what you are going through in a way. I have been in the pest control businesss since in my twenties. Alot of it involves crawling under homes and up into attics almost daily. First from the physical aspect my body is telling me...hey man..its time for a change. Second I am just really burned out on it.
Alot of what I do involves selling and customer relations so I will most likely go into another sales field and as stated on earlier posts there are alot of SLY guys in sales.
Yeah bro. What I have been trying to do the past month is win small "battles". Doing things bald I didn't do before. They aren't much in the grand scheme of things but for me, it's a lot. An example would be I had to drive about 45 minutes away. I took my cap off and drove the whole way. I had never done that before, especially daytime with the window open. While that might seem stupid to some, it's like a big victory for me.
I hear you about sales. I'm sure there are. But this thing has totally wrecked my confidence so I need to work around that right now.
In terms of shutting things off like you suggested, I have been struggling with that. I am have been meditating for years and those thoughts pop in all the time. I dont' think I go anywhere at any time where I don't think about hair at least most of the time. And if there are people around, I look at all their hair. It stinks lol. A shovel to the head to cause amnesia might be good for me.
I am wondering how I will handle a first interview. First one bald. I'm sure i'll be nervous as heck and not about the interview itself. That part is easy. Nervous about how the guy/girl sittingon the other end is viewing me. -
#82 by no1birdman on 01 Jul, 2008 10:00
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Hi, is it your appearance that is upsetting u so much. Look at the pictures on here, some are not that handsome but all are confident. Try to change how u look, i like the tanned and gold earings stuff, others like sunglasses, hides there face LOL, others beards, tashes etc. Try them all u will get one u like. Does not have to cost much cheap fake gold, sunglases etc, I am sure we would all give u something, even some of my gold and and fake tan, others seem to have a lot of sunglases, facial hair costs . nothing. Try a picture on here I am sure we can get u looking good.
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#83 by Marz on 01 Jul, 2008 12:24
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Yeah bro. What I have been trying to do the past month is win small "battles". Doing things bald I didn't do before. They aren't much in the grand scheme of things but for me, it's a lot. An example would be I had to drive about 45 minutes away. I took my cap off and drove the whole way. I had never done that before, especially daytime with the window open. While that might seem stupid to some, it's like a big victory for me.
This is a great example of moving forward, I have chimed in so many times on this thread because I cant stand to see someone just flounder like a fish on a beach...
You need to do more of that and set goals.. maybe go somewhere public without a hat once a day...I am wondering how I will handle a first interview. First one bald. I'm sure i'll be nervous as heck and not about the interview itself. That part is easy. Nervous about how the guy/girl sittingon the other end is viewing me.
Dude, you seriously care WAY too much about what other people think... some times you just have to say *&%# it.
What about when you had hair, I am sure people thought you were a douche once in awhile then... are you convinced that if you had hair it would make people think that much differently of you?
Do you really think people have that much focus on you, and even the few that do notice you , why on earth would they care what you look like for?
Dude, you are not that important.
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#84 by Hp291 on 01 Jul, 2008 14:28
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Hi, is it your appearance that is upsetting u so much. Look at the pictures on here, some are not that handsome but all are confident. Try to change how u look, i like the tanned and gold earings stuff, others like sunglasses, hides there face LOL, others beards, tashes etc. Try them all u will get one u like. Does not have to cost much cheap fake gold, sunglases etc, I am sure we would all give u something, even some of my gold and and fake tan, others seem to have a lot of sunglases, facial hair costs . nothing. Try a picture on here I am sure we can get u looking good.
I think it's two-fold. I am not happy about losing my hair the way I did (so rapidly). It's also about how others see me and what they think. Yeah I know I should care what people think but I do. I mean I think most people do. Why bother to wear nice clothes then if you don't care how you look? That sort of thing.
I agree about the confidence some have here. I have no idea where it comes from. I mean I am in decent shape but it doesn't give me the full confidence I want. I was actually at one point considering putting one photo up here but my other post being pulled has completely changed the view. I have a question. Do you get bald jokes made at all around you?
Yeah I have actually looked into tanning butnot sure how safe that is year round. I already use self tanner but it doesn't help that much. Jewelry is not my thing. I do mess around with goatees quite a bit though. Trying to decide on which one works best. To be honest, the full beard look with a bald head to me looks too psycho killer or lumberjack-ish so I never went that route. I am still debating the tanning thing though. -
#85 by BALDANDRE on 01 Jul, 2008 14:43
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Do you get bald jokes made at all around you?
In close to 15 years being bald by choice, THAT (bald jokes) has never and will never be an issue..
ok my 4 yr old niece thinks it's funny to play drums on it!
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#86 by BaldBen on 01 Jul, 2008 14:54
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Yeah I have actually looked into tanning butnot sure how safe that is year round. I already use self tanner but it doesn't help that much. Jewelry is not my thing. I do mess around with goatees quite a bit though. Trying to decide on which one works best. To be honest, the full beard look with a bald head to me looks too psycho killer or lumberjack-ish so I never went that route. I am still debating the tanning thing though.
Do not use a tanning salon. The tanning bed is worse than the UV rays from the sun. Some places use spray tanning systems similar to air brushing. That method is safe, but can be expensive.
Hp, did you try the Jergens Natural Glo product? That works well.
I just grew my goat out and my boys, nephews and nieces aren't scared of me. I smile a lot, so maybe that makes the difference. Don't be such a gloomy guy. If you put a smile on your face, your bald head wouldn't appear to be so bad to others.
I'm not a pyscho killer or a lumberjack. I'm just Ben the regular guy next door that just happens to have a shaved head.
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#87 by Hp291 on 01 Jul, 2008 16:59
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Do not use a tanning salon. The tanning bed is worse than the UV rays from the sun. Some places use spray tanning systems similar to air brushing. That method is safe, but can be expensive.
Hp, did you try the Jergens Natural Glo product? That works well.
I just grew my goat out and my boys, nephews and nieces aren't scared of me. I smile a lot, so maybe that makes the difference. Don't be such a gloomy guy. If you put a smile on your face, your bald head wouldn't appear to be so bad to others.
I'm not a pyscho killer or a lumberjack. I'm just Ben the regular guy next door that just happens to have a shaved head.
Actually I bought two of them, per suggestions I read on this site. Jergens natural glow and also Neutrogena natural glow. I have been using it for about 3 weeks. Don't notice much of a difference with it. I have been using it every day, sometimes 2 times a day.
I also use Neutrogena self tanner.
You are right though. I do need to smile more. -
#88 by no1birdman on 02 Jul, 2008 01:16
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Hi, try tanning wipes, instant results, beards ok for job inter, wives, they do not like u looking to good.Try mirror sunglasses gives u the confidence of people looking at u and they do not like there reflection.If u are not overweight u look already better than most of us from the neck down.Do not worry about post been pulled I had 2 this week.Wear nice clothes etc
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#89 by Hp291 on 02 Jul, 2008 08:44
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Ok I need some quick advice. I have a job interview but it's not really the job I want. But hey you have to start somewhere.
I'm scared to death as this would be the first time I would be doing it bald. Talk about pressure right?