All confidence down the drain at twenty years old

[Pshrynk]

I'm extremely stressed out and I shaved my head very closely,and got tons of horrible reactions. It's nearly making me suicidal, and I can't leave my apartment now.

Douchey,yes, but I had a lot of girls chasing me,and even though I receive postive attention(alongside a few bad, where each one felt like Satan had just pissed on my heart), I feel like bitin a bullet.

I like the slick bald + emo glasses look, but I just don't have the balls to do it right now. Everyone can see my insecurities, and I don't know how to get rid of them.

Okay, hopefully I'll read this message - if I haven't strangled myself with my mouse pad.

Being that depressed really sux for sure    -- although everyone in their teens and twenties gets there sometimes for one reason or another.

Is there anyone you can talk to?   Counselor at school?  Help line? Psychotherapist?   etc etc etc   

PM or email me if you want to get some further ideas -- I'm a social worker/psychologist

[HeadbladerBob]

You could do the Hair Replacement thing and spend mega dollars and still not be happy.  The choice is your but do not be ashamed of shaving the head.  You may just like it


 

[BlackJamesRackham]

I was in your boat to my friend, but I did it, and although every reaction wasn't always great, the majority have been fine. And as far as the ladies, don't worry bro, you don't need a girl who is that attached to hair. And besides, plenty of girls dig a shaved head, so I wouldn't even sweat that part. It took me a while to realize it, but once I did, it made life so much better.

[time2shine]

Hey guys, I'm new to this site, and I thought this would be a perfect time to chime in with the virgin post.
I can relate to all of the posts in here, and I want to say that I'm very impressed with what Tyler has done in creating this site; a true motivation.
I saw my first hair go down the drain at age 16, and now at 23, I said goodbye, and I'm going sly.
I've battled with the depression on balding - what will my friends say?  will i be the same person?  It's tough, but as many guys have already said so well, it comes down to your confidence and how you view yourself.  Being a lurker on this site has definitely helped me to build that confidence, and I thought it was about time to pay my respects.
Standgeblase, if there's anything I can say, I would tell you that I believe we are the way we are supposed to be.  The reason may not be clear at first, but it will make itself known soon enough.  You may be meant to be that support for someone that ends up going through similar struggles.  Hang in there, buddy.  There's light at the end of the tunnel.  and it's gleaming from all our heads!!

[skiking]

I am sorry about your bad experience with going bald at 20, and i hope the mouse cord doesn't get you.

I am 21 and i shaved my head when i was 20, and at first I too had a hard time leaving the house.  Hair used to be my thing too.  But I can tell you that if you shave it, and walk tall with your head up high, all the looks that you will be getting with be those of admiration.  Two weeks after I shaved my head, I went into a local bar with a few of my female friends and was eye f%^$@d by every girl in the bar.   

Those bad feeling will go away when you show that you are proud that you are bald.  I say the best thing that you can do is accept it and embrace it. 

The worst that can happen is somebody that is jealous will call you Mr Clean.

Then again look at how proud he is.

Hope that I could be a help.

[Tyler]

Hey guys, I'm new to this site, and I thought this would be a perfect time to chime in with the virgin post.
I can relate to all of the posts in here, and I want to say that I'm very impressed with what Tyler has done in creating this site; a true motivation.
I saw my first hair go down the drain at age 16, and now at 23, I said goodbye, and I'm going sly.
I've battled with the depression on balding - what will my friends say?  will i be the same person?  It's tough, but as many guys have already said so well, it comes down to your confidence and how you view yourself.  Being a lurker on this site has definitely helped me to build that confidence, and I thought it was about time to pay my respects.
Standgeblase, if there's anything I can say, I would tell you that I believe we are the way we are supposed to be.  The reason may not be clear at first, but it will make itself known soon enough.  You may be meant to be that support for someone that ends up going through similar struggles.  Hang in there, buddy.  There's light at the end of the tunnel.  and it's gleaming from all our heads!!

Great post bro!  Welcome to Sly Bald Guys!

[Paul]

Ditto on Tyler's comments time2shine    That was a well spoken support that more guys need to heed.   And welcome to SBG.  When you get a chance post up in  the Introduction section so more members can greet you.

[xnewyawka]

Stan, it's time to man up, grab ya' sac, (like Tyler said) and get your blade of choice out and shave it all off. Don't turn it inward and let this get you depressed, that is BS.

Listen to some of the words these young bro's have said (great post time2shine). They've gone through it and got through it, just like you will. But you gotta shave that dome, man!
You're missing out on a whole new dimension of life.

Give it a shot for thirty days, I bet you will wish you had done it sooner.   

[BALDANDRE]

Hey guys, I'm new to this site, and I thought this would be a perfect time to chime in with the virgin post.
I can relate to all of the posts in here, and I want to say that I'm very impressed with what Tyler has done in creating this site; a true motivation.
I saw my first hair go down the drain at age 16, and now at 23, I said goodbye, and I'm going sly.
I've battled with the depression on balding - what will my friends say?  will i be the same person?  It's tough, but as many guys have already said so well, it comes down to your confidence and how you view yourself.  Being a lurker on this site has definitely helped me to build that confidence, and I thought it was about time to pay my respects.
Standgeblase, if there's anything I can say, I would tell you that I believe we are the way we are supposed to be.  The reason may not be clear at first, but it will make itself known soon enough.  You may be meant to be that support for someone that ends up going through similar struggles.  Hang in there, buddy.  There's light at the end of the tunnel.  and it's gleaming from all our heads!!

Welcome bro!

Glad you dig this site.kinda makes you fel like having a slick bald head IS the only way to be....

cool that is!

[time2shine]

Ditto on Tyler's comments time2shine    That was a well spoken support that more guys need to heed.   And welcome to SBG.  When you get a chance post up in  the Introduction section so more members can greet you.

Thanks for the welcome guys.  I put up a post on the intro section.  Looking forward to being part of the site.

[Standgeblase]

Being that depressed really sux for sure    -- although everyone in their teens and twenties gets there sometimes for one reason or another.

Is there anyone you can talk to?   Counselor at school?  Help line? Psychotherapist?   etc etc etc   

PM or email me if you want to get some further ideas -- I'm a social worker/psychologist

Yeah, it's really hard living in Germany since there are not too many therapists and such that speak English, and I hear that's not a common practice here since they think it's odd to speak to a stranger about your problems. Right now my mind is a decent mindset since it's shaved pretty short and I've got my little French girl to keep some confidence. But when I go back to California, I think it'll be a problem, since I'll be missing said girl and friends, but I'll just go to my university's counseling place. Have to keep my mind straight since I'll be working my ass off (which would have caused my hair to fall out, anyway) for the next few years!



Thanks a lot to everyone in this topic, it really cheered me up. I need all the support I can get! Can't wait to buy a Headblade

[Robmeister]

I've posted this on other threads.  But Lemme share a little story about my vain little sister that totally changed and revolutionized my view of self-consciousness. 

I'll let you make the application:

She was so worried about looking silly in people's sight that she wouldn't embark on learning cooool stuff like skiing, surfing, skating....all kinds of stuff.   She didn't want to look like a "beginner."  One time we went to the mountains as a family.  I already knew how to ski, but Micky didn't want to join the fun for the above reasons.  I heard my dad tell her---and it really stuck with me.  He said, "Micky, c'mon, honey....you're not that important to these people."

[Jer]

I've posted this on other threads.  But Lemme share a little story about my vain little sister that totally changed and revolutionized my view of self-consciousness. 

I'll let you make the application:

She was so worried about looking silly in people's sight that she wouldn't embark on learning cooool stuff like skiing, surfing, skating....all kinds of stuff.   She didn't want to look like a "beginner."  One time we went to the mountains as a family.  I already knew how to ski, but Micky didn't want to join the fun for the above reasons.  I heard my dad tell her---and it really stuck with me.  He said, "Micky, c'mon, honey....you're not that important to these people."

So very true.  Unfortunately it can be difficult to accept for some once you have that mindset that everyone is judging and criticizing.  I can say from experience, that it does take time to gain that confidence and 'who cares' attitude.  I followed in my brothers footsteps for the longest time and in grade school and again in high school we were known as the shy kids.  I was always worried what others thought and how they perceived me.  It took some time but now I really don't care what people think about me.  I speak my mind, say and do what I want, and I couldn't care less if others out there think.  Oh, sure there are still odd times where I think "Oh God, what are they thinking of me?" but they are few and far between.

That change in mentality won't happen overnight.  One thing that CAN happen right away is making the decision to go sly.  It's just one small step in the process of moving towards the 'who cares' mindset.

[Pshrynk]

Being that depressed really sux for sure    -- although everyone in their teens and twenties gets there sometimes for one reason or another.

Is there anyone you can talk to?   Counselor at school?  Help line? Psychotherapist?   etc etc etc   

PM or email me if you want to get some further ideas -- I'm a social worker/psychologist

Yeah, it's really hard living in Germany since there are not too many therapists and such that speak English, and I hear that's not a common practice here since they think it's odd to speak to a stranger about your problems. Right now my mind is a decent mindset since it's shaved pretty short and I've got my little French girl to keep some confidence. But when I go back to California, I think it'll be a problem, since I'll be missing said girl and friends, but I'll just go to my university's counseling place. Have to keep my mind straight since I'll be working my ass off (which would have caused my hair to fall out, anyway) for the next few years!



Thanks a lot to everyone in this topic, it really cheered me up. I need all the support I can get! Can't wait to buy a Headblade

Good on you man....  don't be afraid to talk to someone at your university.   We ALL need support sometimes.

What are you taking at said university?

[NWTRNR]

I remember how much I hated losing my hair when I was in my twenties. Plain and simple, it sucked. I alway felt self conscious and that I was missing out on being attractive to those who I dug. I went the hair unit route and 15 years later, I think it was the wrong choice. It costs a lot, the upkeep stinks, and while it can look really good if you get a good unit and know what you're doing -- you always have the thought in the back of your mind that you're wearing a toupee. I wished a had just had the gumption at your age to say "screw it" and just shaved it off.

Only you can figure out what's best for you -- and I haven't shaved yet -- but am getting very close to doing it.

Best wishes.