UPDATE ABOUT DISCIPLINE........... - page 1 -

• UPDATE ABOUT DISCIPLINE........... by Timmay on 22 Jan, 2008 08:57
• Hey guys.  First of all I want to thank everyone who has responded to  my situation at home with my son Logan.  The wife and I are struggling with how we are trying to keep control of Logan with his fears and sometimes he just is down right mean.  LOL  I guess most of it is just the boy in him but  he doesnt take failure and stuff like that very well. He gets very tempermental.  He cant even sit there and play video games without getting mad at the game because it wasnt doing what he wanted it to do. 
  Well today we are takin him to talk to a doctor. We talked to him about it last night and he was upset about going, he doesnt want to go. His reasoning is that he is afraid the doctor is going to say that there is something mentally wrong with him.  Which sorta bothers me, because if he is worrying about that..then it is obvious that he is aware that something isnt right.   We all want our kids to be the perfect kid but that is rarely the case.  None of us are perfect and we explained that to him.   Just because there might be a problem doesnt mean we do not love him any less.   He "TOLD" us last night if he got to stay up and watch his monday night RAW taht the would go..but if not he wasnt going.  The wife and I just sorta looked at each other and allowed him to watch only 1 hour of it...not the full 2 hours.  That is another thing we are sorta wondering about.  The wrestling he watches on tv.  Do you all think that could have some sort of effect on him?  I want him to be able to do things he enjoys but does he really understand that most of that wrestling is fake?  He believes the UnderTaker really died at one point and came back to life.  I dont know how manytimes we have had to sit him down and explain to him that you can not do that.  Once you have died and have been buried..you dont come back to life.  He still believes somewhat that its real.  He says well no matter what a part of me is going to believe that.  We are almost to the point were we are about to just take the wrestling stuff away from him.  But we have invested alot of money on action figures and play wrestling rings and movies and playstation games...way before we realized this might be a problem for him.  I guess we should just focus on his well being more so than the material things. 
  But I just wanted to say taht we are going in today at 3:30 to talk to a doctor...so any prayers or what ever would be greatly appreciated.  I appreciated all you guys in here....just glad my family circle has now expanded...tremendously...
  Later
  Timmay
• #1 by schro on 22 Jan, 2008 09:14
• Your son sounds similar to mine....headstrong, stubborn, and can be rattled when things don't go his way (hope I didn't put words in your mouth). Anyway, I have similar issues with my boy. He doesn't watch wrestling (never interested, none of Team Schro is), but we have had to reel him in a bit in some of the choices he has made regarding activities, TV, computer, language and inappropriate behavior. When we question him, he sometimes says "he's a bad person". We just remind him he's not a bad person, just a good person that sometimes makes bad choices. As he's gotten older, it's getting better, but it still pops up now & then.
  
  Hang in there!
• #2 by warhawk on 22 Jan, 2008 09:40
• timmy....all i wanted 2 say is that i will B praying 4 your son, family, & u during this challenging time.  u have my back.  pm or call me anytime if u need 2 talk.  i'm sure everything will turn out fine.
  
  WARHAWK
• #3 by Timmay on 22 Jan, 2008 10:08
• Schro you did put words in my mouth...but only the words I couldnt find to help describe what we were going thru.  Thanks for all your thoughts ....we will make it thru this, im sure.  God never gives us anything we cant handle.....and I strongly believe that.
  
• #4 by Bald_Okie on 22 Jan, 2008 10:15
• TimmJ - How old is Logan?
• #5 by Timmay on 22 Jan, 2008 11:20
• he will be 10 in june
• #6 by Bald_Okie on 22 Jan, 2008 14:16
• My son will be 10 on Sunday. 10 year olds are still concrete thinkers. Everything is black or white. He can tell you the difference between reality and fantasy but when he's faced with it he could get confused.  At 10 I still believed in Santa Claus because I was never forced to really examine it. 10 year olds are moving into abstract thought but most just aren't there yet, especially boys.
  
  He is forming habits now that will take him into the teen years. Now is the time to form good habits and procedures for dealing with conflicts. Fight this battle now. You don't want to wait until he's 13 or 14 when his body rushing with testosterone. If  you want to ease back on the wrestling give him something else he likes just as much to replace it first. Then steer him away from wrestling.
  
  When I get so frustrated with my son it hits me, he is just like me when I was 10. I have to tell myself, "Calm down. Don't handle this like your dad did."
• #7 by Zeekev on 22 Jan, 2008 14:53
• Timm, good luck. I can relate to the situation with your son. I have a 10 year old that has had many issues in the past, including inappropriate language, violence (hitting his classmates) and behavioural problems.  We are on a first name basis with the Principal at school because we are in constant contact with the school as my son has problems following the rules. He was diagnosed as ADHD but I am not using that as an excuse. this has been going on since he was about 4 years old. His mother and I split up when he was a baby and we have both moved on and married others and each have other children but thankfully we remain on good terms especially because we are in contact so much due to the stuff at school. we share 50/50 custody he is with us one week and his mother the next. I have noticed that as he has gotten older he has matured somewhat and when he puts his mind to something he can achieve it. He is very intelligent and has lots of potential, we just have to keep working with him. I'm sure things will get better with your son. You are not alone.
  
  Sorry for the long rant.
  
  KC
• #8 by Tyler on 22 Jan, 2008 15:52
• Tim, you and your family are in my prayers. 
  
  
• #9 by frostillicus123 on 22 Jan, 2008 18:47
• I have a temper like a true Irishman, and when things don't go my way you hear it in a nice colourful adult slur of words. Now when I was a kid I was shy with a real mean streak cross me and it was on. Than when I was 12 I joined Sea Cadets and loved it, and wanted to do better and better in it. So I learned to take orders, learned I cannot be good at evrything the frist time, and something (Monkey's Fist) I still cannot do to this day even though i've been showed 1500 times and have 3 books with instructions in it.
  
  If he's too young for cadets i recommend a martial art, the sensi won't be tolerating any behaviour deemed inappropiate. And it gives him an out put for any anger and rage. 
  
  My girlfriend works for children's aid soceity here in New Glasgow at a group home for kids between age 12 and 16 with all kinds of issues. IF you have any questions about ways to deal with something let me know in a PM and I'll run it by her see what she suggets.
• #10 by Timmay on 22 Jan, 2008 19:04
• Well we went to the Dr today and things went really well.  We discovered he has a OCD               ( obsessive compulsive disorder).  The Dr said that she felt as though that sometimes this can be a good thing..because people with that disorder tend to want things to be perfect...but in a broader view of that..it can be damaging to ones lifestyle. I mean it was so bad that his hotdog buns had to be perfect ...you know how sometimes the bottoms of the bun will split and you end up with like two slices of bun...well if that happened the whole hotdog was ruined...even the hotdog itself.  You couldn't take the hotdog out and put it in another bun.  She didnt want to put him on the wrong type of medication so she was going to consult with another doctor about what to do with Logan.  Being that he is very artistic...loves sports and doing extremely well in school, she didnt want to alter Logans personality and the way he thinks about stuff, too drastically.  She didnt want to in a sense..set Logan back.  At that point she suggested that we as a family go to see some type of therapist and seeing how we could work thru this.  We agreed to give it a shot.  Logan seemed understanding about it and some of his fears were eased.  While sitting at the table at supper time we got a call from the Dr.  She is prescribing Zolof... not sure how you spell it...but she consulted another dr that was working with a patient with the exact things Logan was dealing with and the same age.  This other boy has been on it for a month and has improved in ways it has his parents and the dr.'s amazed.  We are going to hope the best for Logan too.   He is more relieved that all he has to do for right now is take some medicine.  We begin taking the medicine tomorrow and they said in a few days we should start to see some improvement. The fear adn the sudden outburst of anger is a result of things not being inside that little box of his perfect little place.  When a video game messes up..it is out of his control and there is nothign he can do to fix it.  I know this maybe confusing to some..but i finally understand it all.  It just breaks my heart to understand what is going on inside is mind, knowing that he tries to keep a perfect world inside this little box....but I still Love him to death.
  
• #11 by JDog on 22 Jan, 2008 19:16
• Tim, from how you describe your son , he sounds like exactly how I was when I was his age too. Opinionated, worrisome and a handful in general. I know it must be hard for you and your wife but I think you are doing the right thing on seeing a councilor about it. I did too and it definetley helped me better deal with my anger and acting out.
  
  I will pray for your family mate. Never doubt your  abilities as a father Tim. 
• #12 by warhawk on 22 Jan, 2008 19:28
• tim.....sounds like everything went well with the doctor's visit.  i'm glad that u got a full understanding of what your son is going thru.  u & your family will continue 2 b in my daily prayers.   
  
  WARHAWK
• #13 by Tyler on 22 Jan, 2008 19:48
• Like JDog, that sounds a lot like me when I was a kid.  My mother describes me as a perfectionist.  I also didn't like video games that would "screw up" or when I couldn't do something right the first time.  It would really piss me off.  Though, I never did have angry outbursts that I can remember, but I would be noticeably frustrated.  I think this is why I liked Math so much.  There was a definite right and wrong.
  
  
• #14 by Timmay on 22 Jan, 2008 19:49
• Oh you ought to see my son with math.  WHIZ Kid on that.  I was always good at math ...still am...but it just amazing to see you little kid doing that stuff.  Being able to figure number problems out.