I found this one from a decade-old newspaper......(I kind of semi-edited it)
"A Dog Named Sex"
Many of us have a faithful friend in our dog.....Most people call him Rover, Fido or Boy. I call mine Sex. He's a great pal, but he has caused me some trouble and embarrassment along the way.....
One day, I went to City Hall to get a dog's license...I told the clerk that I wanted a license for Sex. The clerk said "I want one too!"
Then I said "But this is a dog!" The clerk said that he didn't care what she looked like. I then told him "I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He winked and said "You must have been quite a kid!"
After I got married, my wife and I took the dog on our honeymoon. At the motel, I asked the clerk for a room for my wife and I, and a special room for Sex. The motel clerk said: "You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do." I said "But Sex keeps me awake at night!" The motel clerk then said "Funny, I have the same problem..."
A couple of years later, I wanted to enter Sex in a dog show. But before the judges showed up, the dog ran away. I was standing there looking dejected. Another contestant (with his dog) asked me what's wrong. I told him that I was hoping to have Sex in the contest...He said "You should have sold your own tickets!" I said "I was looking forward to having Sex on TV!" He said "With everything being shown on TV these days, it's not a big deal anymore."
Later on, me and my wife split up...We both were fighting for custody of the dog in divorce court..I told the judge "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said "This courtroom isn't a confessional...stick to the case please."
I then said. "Your honor, Sex kept disappearing after we got married" The judge said "Hmmm...that happened to me and my wife too!"
Last night, the dog ran away again. So I was searching in a dark alley trying to find him. I then encounter a cop who asked me why I was in the alley at 4am in the morning. I told the cop that I was looking for Sex. My court case comes up on Monday.
