What to do?

[nomad]

(I'm celibate, NOT dead!)

That is awesome Padre!
 

[Stu]

Speedracer, Welcome!  I can't add much; the fellas have given you some great ideas.  But definitely shave the head, and keep it clean for at least a month.  It can give you a world of confidence, but you can't just do it once and stop.  Good luck, and let us know how you get along.

[J.J.]

Howdy Speed!

Glad you decided to join us here at Sly Bald Guys.  After reading your intro and other comments, I have to agree with what the other slickdomed dudes have said....go for the full headshave.  You don't seem to have severe balding, but the shiny smooth dome is going to get you a lot of attention from the ladies....I think we can all attest to that.

You have to stop beating yourself up about your looks:  you are NOT unattractive.  The buzz looks fine, but I bet you'll look pretty studly if you shaved your head bald and kept a goatee.   Obviously, you keep your body in good condition as a fitness fanatic, so the cleanshaven dome will be a natural complement to your active lifestyle.

I know it might seem like there are no prospects out there (believe me, I can relate) but you have to just stay cool, calm, and collected.   Everybody has some dry spells...and you're only 32...you've got your whole life ahead of you.  You have to resist the temptation to give up; instead of staying home and hiding....take your Sly self out there and let everybody see what a great guy you are.

You've got a lot going for you, Speed; you're young, you're healthy, you're educated, you're outgoing...you're FREE.   Take advantage of that freedom.  Decide what you really want out of life and then GO GET IT.....that's what to do.

Take care,

jj

[shyslyguy]

Hey welcome Speedracer,

Not much I can add to what's already been said but I can tell you - from your pic & your posts, you don't look (or sound) like an unattractive guy. Quite the reverse in fact. The totally shaved head will give you that edge over the competition. Stick with it for a while & see how it goes.

Good luck & post up often 

[Koaa2]

Shaving makes me feel good everytime I do it.

I know that at the gym I go to there are a lot of good looking woman working on themselves just like the guys are, so maybe there are some there that you could get to know,  or get to know some of them a little better. Might work out for you in the long run.

Your pic looks good, try shaving for a while.

Good Luck

[xnewyawka]

Hey Speedracer, I can't add very much here as all the bro's have pretty much covered it very well. The key is to get out there!, I think the worst thing you can do is just stay in and feel down about yourself.
You say you're into fitness and physical actitvity, that's a total positive. I think an organized class such as yoga or a similar type of class would be great.
As champ says, hit the bookstore; whnever I'm there, I can't get over how many possible chances for easy convo there are. Give it a shot.

As far as your looks, you look fine just like the rest of us. I think you should try different looks with your facial hair and see what look you like best. I'm a big fan of the goatee; looks great with the shaved dome.
So give it a try for a month or so, do some experimenting and I bet you will come to love the look.

One thing you can't do is give up, that is not a solution. Stand up sly and confident, be yourself, and I bet you will see how people pick up on it.
Good luck and let us know how you are doing.

Joe

[yep_yep]

You look totally normal to me + your head looks small enough for shaving (wish mine was that small haha). I can't say just do it since I haven't done it myself either but nowadays I'm keeping the hair buzzed and getting used to the idea of balding. I too have a feeling that I will look like a giant dick once I have to completely shave my head, so I can relate to you in that aspect.

[David]

The solution is you need to develop inner confidence, not superficial confidence because of your outside appearance.   by pointing out how your ears look you are only proving that what is on your outside determines how you feel about yourself, not your thoughts, feelings, and personality.   And if you act that way in the dating scene women sense your insecurity and don't want to go out with guys like that.

Ladies want a guy who is sure of himself, and the way to achieve that is inner confidence.   

[fcb2001]

hey speedracer, you should just bic your head and be smooth, then you will pick up the ladies,

[Rob]

Just don't try too hard: just be yourself, and with that shaved dome you'll be all the more confident and confidence is attractive.  If you just go to the gym and work on yourself and not be over impatient, I'm sure the ladies will soon take an interest.

[JustColorado]

If something is holding you back it is not your hairline, ears, or anything else about your appearance, but your interpretation of what is happening.  Perhaps you are letting a few bad experiences from dating effect your own perception of yourself.

A lot of people find dating very frustrating because they immediately blame the reason a date did not work on their own appearance.  When in fact your appearance is only one of a number of factors in finding someone that you can get along with.

Some people fit and some people don't.  An attractive woman that blew you off may end up with someone who is not attractive at all.  I am sure you have seen this before.  And a girl that you click with may be totally turned off by a guy who is younger, taller, richer and with a full head of hair.

And when you do click with someone it is like magic it just works.  If you went out with 100 attractive women for sure a few of them will want to sleep with you, marry you, be your girlfriend etc.  the other 90% or so will all be bad experiences.  That is just the way dating is. 

Also you will never know what the real reason behind the women that it doesn't work out with is.  Maybe you look exactly like a guy that did something really bad to her.   Maybe she has a boyfriend and are just weighing her options.  Maybe she really only likes really skinny chinese boys who wear glasses and plaid shirts.  Maybe she is gay and is trying to be straight but really wants to go back to her female girlfriend.  Maybe she had an abortion last week and is mentally destroyed.  Maybe a nasty STD just started to show its symptoms a few minutes before she came out to see you.   ((I usually imagine this one and it helps me laugh about rejection)).  But you certainly should not blame anything on your appearance when in fact you look fine.
 
Also you can't really expect to find much from a few dates.  5 dates is nothing especially from online.  My experience is I need to go on a minimum of 10 dates to find one where there is mutual attraction.  And you may even need to do more.  Try to make the best out of the bad dates, but keep the time and expenses short.

And in the interim some will stand you up, not call you back, be moody, fickle, cancel at the last minute, get you all worked up and back out etc.  For me this is how it has always been with or without hair.

Try reading a few books on dating.  Understanding more about the whole dating process will help you take some of the pressure off of yourself.  I have read a few, and would strongly recommend "How to Succeed With Women".   

 

[Tyler]

Great post JustColorado!

[PBurke]

Great post JustColorado!

 got me talked into going on a few dates. and i am married. damn good post bro.

[ugabulldog]

Great post JustColorado!

 got me talked into going on a few dates. and i am married. damn good post bro.

Me too..... Definetly get out as everyone says but don't give up on the online thing, myspace, chatrooms etc... that is how I met my wife.

[froze]

I'm with nomad!
I really believe if your inside is not confident then the outside shows it!

I am far from being a handsome dude but man I try to portray that I am great looking!
Shave it and grab some confidence!
Everyone here can help!!!Don't give up !