Discussions About Being Bald > General Discussion
Anyone one old enough to remember being told "Get a haircut" as a kid/teen?
clipped:
I have not visited in a while, but this post caught my attention. I never had hair longer than bottom of my ear in the ‘70s but do remember dad saying, “get a haircut”. In the ‘80s as I entered a conservative profession, I adopted a “businessman’s regular” around the ears and quite liked it. in the ‘90s, my barber once suggested a “High & Tight” but didn’t explain that it would look better with my advancing thinly covered dome. I wish he had been more forceful. In the mid-2000s, a new barber suggested a crew cut. I was hesitant. He surprised me one day with a 3-2-1 Ivy League which I liked. We moved onto to buzzcuts and eventually a #00000 clipper shave (he didn’t do razor head shaves). That’s when I found this site, which was very helpful. He also did a few H&T flattops for me but eventually said that I didn’t have enough left for him to do that. I switched to doing my own buzzcuts and first head shave in 2004, alternating between buzzcuts and occasional razor shaves. I had to do my over version of the 30-day rule (mine was a-365-day rule) to totally accept being shaved &/or clipper shaved bald. I love the look now and it fits with my conservative profession.
Now I am struggling with the idea of being bald and bearded, which doesn’t exactly fit with my conservative profession. I have grown my beard a few times, but never more than 11 weeks. After getting past the first 3-4 weeks, I quite like the look. My hair is all white and I am pale. My wife is not fond of my having a beard. She thinks it makes me look older. It does. But I am in fairly good physical shape, not overweight and I think being bearded I look “age appropriate”. I am not obsessed with looking younger although most people think that I am about 5 years younger than my 71 years. However, I am fortunate in having a wife who looks quite a bit younger than her age; she is 6 years younger than I am.
I also have tried a solo mustache, which I had for 5 years or so in my early 20s. But now, I would like a larger casual handlebar style. Again, not exactly very conservative. I find that accepting the changed appearance of being bearded or having facial hair of some type is similar to the process of accepting shaving my head and accepting being bald. it can be a long process. Negative reactions of friends and family doesn’t help. Any advice would be appreciated.
slybeard:
@clipped I am a similar age and had a similar experience. Consultative family, consultative job and lifestyle. As such, I always wanted a beard and a "more aggressive) hairstyle, but never dared anything beyond the business man haircut, with a solo mustache, or close trimmed circle beard (mustache with goatee). in the 80's, I wanted a mullet but did not dare to try it. In the 90's, I wanted the high-n-tight, but again did not. By the time I turned 50, I finally told myself i no longer want to just please others. It was too late for my hairstyle wishes as I had started headshaving around age 49. But it was time to let my facial hair go, and grow. Since then it has been big full beard and handlebar length mustache (sometime styles as a handlebar, mostly not). I have been having fun with it for nearly 12 years.
My wife and mother were not fond of my style choices for the first 6 to 12 months, and after that accepted it, and maybe even liked it a bit. But I also learned the in my profession and life in general, no one really cared about my hairstyle or facial hair choices. All the years I spent holding myself back from what I wanted due to my own perceived restrictions were wasted.
So my advice, ignore the negative reactions from friends and family. They will accept your style, or at least stop commenting once they see that their comments have no effect. Even if they do bother you, keep it to yourself, or make a joke out of it.
Semi-Sly:
--- Quote from: slybeard on August 09, 2023, 12:47:55 PM ---@clipped I am a similar age and had a similar experience. Consultative family, consultative job and lifestyle. As such, I always wanted a beard and a "more aggressive) hairstyle, but never dared anything beyond the business man haircut, with a solo mustache, or close trimmed circle beard (mustache with goatee). in the 80's, I wanted a mullet but did not dare to try it. In the 90's, I wanted the high-n-tight, but again did not. By the time I turned 50, I finally told myself i no longer want to just please others. It was too late for my hairstyle wishes as I had started headshaving around age 49. But it was time to let my facial hair go, and grow. Since then it has been big full beard and handlebar length mustache (sometime styles as a handlebar, mostly not). I have been having fun with it for nearly 12 years.
My wife and mother were not fond of my style choices for the first 6 to 12 months, and after that accepted it, and maybe even liked it a bit. But I also learned the in my profession and life in general, no one really cared about my hairstyle or facial hair choices. All the years I spent holding myself back from what I wanted due to my own perceived restrictions were wasted.
So my advice, ignore the negative reactions from friends and family. They will accept your style, or at least stop commenting once they see that their comments have no effect. Even if they do bother you, keep it to yourself, or make a joke out of it.
--- End quote ---
I have to absolutely agree with this advice! You really must do what makes you happy and what makes you feel good about the inner man inside of you. Please don’t waste a single day of your life compromising your true self because of what you “think”
chuck63:
I was told to go get a haircut many times as a teenager. I never would have done it at the time, but looking back, I should have asked for a head shave.
Semi-Sly:
On a related note: Does anyone remember their parents getting fed up with their long hair and sitting them down and chopping off their hair?
My mother chopped off my forelock once and my father a few times threaten to shave my head- But I knew that was an idle threat!
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