Struggling with Staying Bald

[steve69]

I lost my hair in my teens and started shaving my head in my 20s, way before it was really an accepted thing for guys to do, at least where I live. Life happened and my weight ballooned to 350 pounds. The last few years I've lost about 110 pounds. I started wearing hair systems and some people like them and some don't.

The overriding opinion is that I look best bald. I've gone with the completely shaved head off and on, and for a few days I like it, but then I start to see the old 350 pound me and I suddenly feel insecure and go back to the hair systems.

I've included a couple images of me with the shaved head and hair systems and the old 350 pound me for reference.

Has anyone else struggled with issues like this? And does everyone really think I look best with a shaved head?

[reddog]

Yes, @steve69 , you look fantastic bald! You have an awesome shape to your head, and it looks clean and sharp!

We all have to do what we feel best about. If you like the hair system, that's ok. Don't worry so much what other people think. I heard the hair systems are alot to maintain. They look ok on you, but I can always spot them on a guy.

I always say, if you see guys with a shaved head and think they look great, then you will like wearing it yourself. Personally, I can't wait to lather up and shave my head every morning! Nothing feels like a totally smooth shaved head. I think it looks great on me, and I seldom wear a hat, so I can show off my shiny head.

So, just do what makes you feel good about yourself. And congrats on the weight loss!

[Razorhead]

@steve69 Congratulations on the weight loss. Just concentrate on the weight loss and strength building. That’s the confidence builder. I think you look great bald and with the facial hair. Your blue eyes pop more.  I think there is a big difference in your appearance in the first two pics Of you bald. And it’s just not the weight. I think you just look healthier and maybe happier in the second bald pic. The hair system pics look good. I think the hair looks more authentic in the middle picture as compared to the last one.  I agree with reddog... Do what makes you comfortable. But I think life is easier when you keep things real and authentic and true to yourself. Hiding is the worst thing you can do to yourself and your confidence.

[slybeard]

I think most of us here will agree that bald looks best, and IMO, more facial hair to go with it would be even better.  But you have to do what you want to do.

[StillLurking]

That is the problem with asking on this site.  My honest opinion is you look younger and more attractive bald, but then that would be my usual preference!

But you mention being bald reminding you of unhappier times, so that may be setting a mental block.  I know how that can get.  Remember that what you are reminded of, only you see.  Consider that, then do whatever you feel most comfortable doing.

[Barbero Pelón]

Bro,that wig isn't make you any favors.

[Magoo]

I think you look good in all three pictures. Which I like best does not matter. What matters is your opinion. Your own opinion may vary on occasion, but try to stay one way or the other .  The loss of weight has made a wonderful change. You have to satisfy yourself  to be happy and confident. I think most of us go through the same questions and doubts.

[reddog]

At least you know if, at some point you decide that the hair pieces become too much to maintain or the expense is too much, you can go back to an awesome shaved head. A smooth bald head, a goatee, and some cool sunglasses and you be looking great!

[Razor X]

Bro,that wig isn't make you any favors.

I have to agree with this.  The systems don’t look natural. You look fantastic for your age and I would have guessed you were considerably younger, but at the end of the day, you are still your age.  The systems, in addition to looking unnatural, are styled too young for you and make you look like you’re trying too hard.  The shaved head looks great.

Whenever we’ve made big improvements to our bodies - such as losing a great deal of weight - it’s easy to look in the mirror and see the old, insecure you, instead of the improvements you’ve made.  We all have these insecurities and see flaws that other people don’t see.  Try to focus on the progress you’ve made and don’t worry about the hair loss. 

[steve69]

@steve69 Congratulations on the weight loss. Just concentrate on the weight loss and strength building. That’s the confidence builder. I think you look great bald and with the facial hair. Your blue eyes pop more.  I think there is a big difference in your appearance in the first two pics Of you bald. And it’s just not the weight. I think you just look healthier and maybe happier in the second bald pic. The hair system pics look good. I think the hair looks more authentic in the middle picture as compared to the last one.  I agree with reddog... Do what makes you comfortable. But I think life is easier when you keep things real and authentic and true to yourself. Hiding is the worst thing you can do to yourself and your confidence.

Thanks for the thoughtful response. I am a lot healthier than I was 10 years ago. The last year has set me back a lot due to a severe back injury during the summer and Covid at the end of November, but I'm working my way back. I had gotten to being able to walk and run 10-12 miles a day, right now I'm hitting between 7-8 again.

I think for me, the hair systems let me have fun with my appearance that I couldn't do when I was a young adult because I was already bald. And I am 100% upfront with people that I wear them, even though most had no idea. Living in a small, rural town, it's pretty much unheard of for a man to wear them.

The struggle I have is that for a few days after I shave my head I do feel more confident, and I love how it feels. Then a few days into it I start to feel like my old self. I've tried this a few times the last couple years and it always happens and I end up in a depressed state. Confidence has never been my strong suit, I guess.

And most of the people in the town where I live definitely prefer the "law enforcement" look as they call it. Maybe I should just listen to everyone else and give myself time to adjust.

[steve69]

Yes, @steve69 , you look fantastic bald! You have an awesome shape to your head, and it looks clean and sharp!

We all have to do what we feel best about. If you like the hair system, that's ok. Don't worry so much what other people think. I heard the hair systems are alot to maintain. They look ok on you, but I can always spot them on a guy.

I always say, if you see guys with a shaved head and think they look great, then you will like wearing it yourself. Personally, I can't wait to lather up and shave my head every morning! Nothing feels like a totally smooth shaved head. I think it looks great on me, and I seldom wear a hat, so I can show off my shiny head.

So, just do what makes you feel good about yourself. And congrats on the weight loss!

Thanks for the words of encouragement and thoughtful response. That's always been my problem - I pay way too much attention to and care about what others think. But I do care about what actually looks best. And in this case, it seems like the shaved head is actually my best look, whether I think so or not.

I do honestly love how it feels when I've just shaved my head. It's always the fourth or fifth day when I start to backtrack. Maybe I just need to give it more time instead of going back to the hair systems when I start to feel insecure about the shaved head.

I know most of the people in the town where I live prefer the shaved head. I was just curious if anyone else had had similar struggles. And yeah, hair systems can be a pain to maintain and they've gotten really expensive since Covid hit due to shortages, like everything else.

[steve69]

I think you look good in all three pictures. Which I like best does not matter. What matters is your opinion. Your own opinion may vary on occasion, but try to stay one way or the other .  The loss of weight has made a wonderful change. You have to satisfy yourself  to be happy and confident. I think most of us go through the same questions and doubts.

Thanks for the response - I am genuinely interested in knowing what people think because I don't always trust my own judgement in this area. The overwhelming majority of people here and in the town where I live seem to think the shaved head is my best look. It's just hard for me to get my head around that thought, I guess, no pun intended.

And I definitely need to work on my confidence - I've never had a lot of it.

[steve69]

I think most of us here will agree that bald looks best, and IMO, more facial hair to go with it would be even better.  But you have to do what you want to do.

I have a love/hate relationship with facial hair. I used to have a decent beard, but now that I've been wearing masks for a couple years (I've got severe persistent asthma so I don't have a lot of choice), I find it really uncomfortable, so I have to settle for a mustache. I think I was more okay with the shaved head when I was able to have a fuller beard - maybe that's part of the problem I've been dealing with when I've shaved my head lately. But at the end of the day, I mostly want to make sure I'm looking my best, and I guess I've found my answer as to what everyone thinks is my best look.

[steve69]

Bro,that wig isn't make you any favors.

I have to agree with this.  The systems don’t look natural. You look fantastic for your age and I would have guessed you were considerably younger, but at the end of the day, you are still your age.  The systems, in addition to looking unnatural, are styled too young for you and make you look like you’re trying too hard.  The shaved head looks great.

Whenever we’ve made big improvements to our bodies - such as losing a great deal of weight - it’s easy to look in the mirror and see the old, insecure you, instead of the improvements you’ve made.  We all have these insecurities and see flaws that other people don’t see.  Try to focus on the progress you’ve made and don’t worry about the hair loss.

I try to focus on the positives and the accomplishments, but every time I shave my head I start going backwards for whatever reason. No matter how many people tell me they love the shaved head. I just feel miserable. I really wish I didn't because it's a lot easier to deal with than the hair systems and also less expensive.

Most people actually have no idea I'm wearing hair systems until I tell them. And even though I'm going on 53, I look and feel younger than I did 20 years ago, so I guess I struggle with the idea of just accepting aging. It's a number and we all age differently based on genetics, lifestyle choices, etc.

I see a lot of guys in the town where I live that pretty much gave up by the time they turned 30, lost their hair and shaved or buzzed their heads, gained weight, quit exercising, and they look older than I do. And they also generally look miserable and angry. I'm just trying to avoid falling into the same mindset again. Been there, done that.