RANT: I wish there was an unbiased online community for discussing bald-ing/ness

[max.b]

SBG and /r/bald are "support" communities. Everyone is told that they look great bald.

hairlosstalk.com is the opposite. Everyone looks ugly bald, according to them.

lookism.net is somewhere in the middle, but it's not really about baldness, and it's a very quirky place, to put it mildly.

However, I believe that it's important to have a realistic outlook, so that you could make optimal decisions about your appearance (not just whether to shave your head, but also facial hair, as the two are closely connected)

EDIT (from a reply to all):

If you ask one person, his/her opinion is subjective. But if you ask a lot of people and average their opinions (or create a histogram), it becomes science.

Some people can't pull off being sly, that is they'd look better (to almost everyone) with a short haircut (#4, say) even with some MPB.

It's OK to have some of these problems, but if you score too many of them, it might be best to hold on to what hair you have:

* pale skin
* puffy face
* narrow jaw
* weak chin
* bad/no facial hair
* tall upper third
* long or hooked nose
* weak brow ridge
* short / petite
* thin neck (if visible)
* prominent ears
* back of the head issues (maybe controversial)

A somewhat extreme example:

Dr. Evil

[Semi-Sly]

Well, when it comes to fashion or style, we all (hopefully) have individual tastes.  So, in a way, it really isn't possible to find anyone who is absolutely "unbiased".  But, on the other hand, would you really want to give one person the ability to to be the "dictator" of style?  I know that GQ thinks that they know better than we do what clothes look good on a man; but would you really want to be caught dead wearing those suits they show which are two sizes too small and come with "high water pants"?  Or would you really want to accept what Simon Cowell says is good vocal work?

So, in the end, it is a good thing that you hear different voices, and that you be able to discern which come from experience and which are just repeating wehat they have been told.  And at the end of the day, please; DO  WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOU!  Because that is what really counts!

[reddog]

Is SBG bias? Maybe. I think there are several different types here. From the balding guy that is lamenting hairloss, to guys like me that like to be bald by choice. There is a good support system here for the newly shaved and those thinking about it. Most of us here love wearing our heads shaved bald. It's a haircut, if it just isn't for someone, it grows back.

The other side of SBG  is the information contained here. I don't know anywhere else with more info on headshaving. Most problems can be solved here, too.

The third thing is the great people that regularly post here. Real down to earth guys that are willing to help. Many friendships have been made.

[Tyler]

Of course, SBG is more biased about shaving a head as an alternative to other hairloss "options."  Though, there are many posts where the members here have told people that they have plenty of hair and to keep their desired hairstyle until a day comes where hairloss is more prevalent. We'd also rather see guys just embrace their hair loss and keep and non-shaved look than try to get hair transplants or use drugs or rugs for the reason that most of the time the three creates a worse situation for the person than embracing their hair loss.

[Barbero Pelón]

Well,to be honest there's some members than don't look good bald,but you just don't go and tell them....world doesn't work like that haha.

[Quiet_Dan]

Well Max, the nature of humanity is that we will all have our own opinions and bias (we are not the borg after all), Yes SBG is very pro-shaving, but will tell someone the truth if they ask whether their hairloss is too far gone where we would recommend shaving.  Yes I myself shave, only because I see it as the best course of action due to significant hair loss, I actually don't particularlly like shaving (shock horror!), but I certainly wouldn't consider all the other methods as something I would choose (drugs, plugs or rugs), and I prefer the bald look over the fringe. I had already started shaving at the suggestion of my then girlfriend so they didn't brainwash me, I just came for more info and well never left

[Miller1989]

I've seen the Hairlosstalk.com forum. God, what a bunch of negative sadsacks. Yes, on here one will be encouraged to shave their head. After all, it is called Sly Bald Guys. Granted, a shaved head isn't for everyone. But you have to admit, we're a little more positive about things than those guys. They all preach that because you're losing your hair, life is over. Look around, common sense and observation should tell you that's not the case. Many guys have no hair and have gorgeous wives or girlfriends and perfectly fine lives. EVERY guy thinks he has a funny-shaped head before he shaves it. I did too. But 99.99% of the time, that isn't the case. And honestly, if a guy had a seriously misshaped head, I'd tell him so on here. And I've never yet seen a guy who looks better with a fringe or a combover than totally bald. And I do think most of the guys on here are pretty honest and tolerant.

[Razor X]

What exactly would this “nonbiased” community be, exactly?  One that takes no position as to whether one should shave or go the hair replacement route?  One that doesn’t advise one way or the other?  What is the value in that?

While I don’t expect anyone to be happy about hair loss, it is something that everyone who experiences it must come to terms with one am or another.   The “woe is me” wailing and gnashing of teeth is simply not productive.

If you truly feel that there is a beee doe a “nonbiased” online baldness support community, then why not start one of your own?

[max.b]

(replying to everyone and no one in particular)

If you ask one person, his/her opinion is subjective. But if you ask a lot of people and average their opinions (or create a histogram), it becomes science.

Some people can't pull off being sly, that is they'd look better (to almost everyone) with a short haircut (#4, say) even with some MPB.

It's OK to have some of these problems, but if you score too many of them, it might be best to hold on to what hair you have:

* pale skin
* puffy face
* narrow jaw
* weak chin
* bad/no facial hair
* tall upper third
* long or hooked nose
* weak brow ridge
* short / petite
* thin neck (if visible)
* prominent ears
* back of the head issues (maybe controversial)

A somewhat extreme example:

Dr. Evil

[Blagadan]

No it's not science, it's just a collection of different subjective opinions.
Ppl need to get away from the whole looks thing. It's irrelevant what someone or a whole group of someones thinks of your hair style, what's important is what you think and that's why this forum is probably the best because it helps you get past ridiculous and pointless negativity.

[reddog]

It's true, not everyone looks good with a shaved head. I think we try to be honest here with opinions.

For us BBC guys, it is about preferring the look. Before I started shaving, I was noticing alot of guys with completely shaved heads, and thought they looked awesome. I thought what the hell, shave it off one time and it will grow back, that was almost 6 years ago. I like how it looks, and how clean it feels, and being a little different than most guys.

[Miller1989]

What exactly would this “nonbiased” community be, exactly?  One that takes no position as to whether one should shave or go the hair replacement route?  One that doesn’t advise one way or the other?  What is the value in that?

While I don’t expect anyone to be happy about hair loss, it is something that everyone who experiences it must come to terms with one am or another.   The “woe is me” wailing and gnashing of teeth is simply not productive.

If you truly feel that there is a beee doe a “nonbiased” online baldness support community, then why not start one of your own?

I agree. What would be the point of a community that gives no advice and tells people "We don't know what to do". That'd be like a support group that is not being supportive one way or the other. An oxymoron. Personally, I always found the idea of someone cutting up my head or taking drugs repulsive. And if they really thought about it, I think a large number of guys would. But it's true, there are opposite extremes. Some say that every guy looks ugly bald, and some say that every guy looks great with a shaved head. Neither one is true. But I think this group is more honest and middle-of-the-road than most others. We're usually pretty honest with people about their head shapes and such. But through it all, there is one irrefutable fact. Your life is NOT over just because you are losing your hair or are going to shave your head. As I've said before, there are plenty of people that are living proof of that fact.

[slybeard]

The items you listed that can make a guy not look good sly can also make a guy not look good with a fringe.  In many cases, not all, sly looks better.  The other options, plugs, transplants, drugs, or hair pieces are not options for many guys due to cost and/or side affects.  So it is really a matter of personal opinion, and it should be no surprise that guys and girls on a head shaving site would be more likely to prefer head shaving.  Members on a buzz cut site will recommend a buzz cut.  Members on a long hair site will recommend long hair.  Members on a hair transplant site will recommend hair transplants.  And there are sites that support guys with a MPB look by choice.

The encouragement often suggested here is to try going sly for 30 days and then make a decision.  And yes, we will offer our opinions.  I cannot remember seeing a guy here with visible MPB that did not look better, to me, sly, than before.  For many of the BBC guys, that is not the case, but sly is their preference.  I do my best to support them in their preference.  And may guys start the 30 day challenge and we never see them again, so I assume they did not like the results and just moved on.  The ones that stay are obviously the ones that like it.

After all, sly is just another hairstyle.

[slybeard]

Duplicate post

[max.b]

What exactly would this “nonbiased” community be, exactly? 

A useful unbiased community would give good advice on looks-maxxing  (as lookism users call it) to those who ask for it.

I'm not saying I know how to create one, but perhaps acknowledging that the problem exists is a start. All 3 communities related to balding/baldness are echo-chambers.

BTW if you'd like to know what, say, hairlosstalk thinks about this place, type

site:hairlosstalk.com sly

into Google (Trigger warning. They actually roast some people from this site) They are an echo-chamber too, of course.