Confidence and Success > Relationships/Dating

How Can I Convince my Boyfriend to Shave?

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professor:
 If you were married you could probably get away with a strong suggestion, since you are only dating tread lightly.  It is a sensitive subject to him and he is most likely becoming more self conscious every time you mention it.  It would be different if he mentioned it to you and asked for your opinion..

Laser Man:
Trying to change each other is a very sensitive aspect of a relationship - even in a long-term relationship, and seeking a change that can radically alter a person's appearance is particularly sensitive.  If your boyfriend is getting a lot of jokes about losing his hair from his friends, he's probably hypersensitive about the topic, as evidenced by the fact that he won't even discuss it when you bring it up. Chances are if you keep pushing the subject, he's going to become upset with you because he's simply not ready to even consider a short haircut, let alone a fully shaved head.

My advice: casually mention that you like short hair and shaved heads occasionally, but don't do it to often or forcefully. If you see bald actors, point out that you think they look good.  Give him time and he may come around.

Good luck!

JayneDough:
Thank you for all the great advice and suggestions, feel free to post or PM me, more thoughts are always welcome. I have yet to bring it up, not sure how soon I will. It's been almost 2 months since I have mentioned it to him, so maybe I'll wait a little longer before bringing up the topic again.

StillLurking:
If I'm not to late to comment, I'd like to put on my "Dear Abby" hat and offer an opinion:  You ask "Wouldn't you guys let your significant other know if there was something they should do to improve themselves...?"  But "improvement" is very subjective.  Some ladies may find the balding look more attractive than a full head of hair or a bald head.  Shaving your head isn't a right or wrong issue; it's cosmetic.  It's a preference issue.

I've noticed a lot of ladies date someone who they genuinely like, except for one are more "small issues."  So the ladies try to "fix" their boyfriend rather than leave him.  After all, he's a great guy except for (whatever).  Perhaps a better solution is to leave him free to find a lady who accepts him as is, and let yourself free to find someone you can accept as is.  Embrace him as he is and let the issue go, or let him go. 

And no, it is not necessarily superficial or mean to let this be a factor in deciding the future of your relationship.  It's easy to sound grand and preach "a decent person looks beyond the physical..." but come on.  Hearts don't really work that way and you KNOW what does and doesn't ignite that flame for you.  You get to choose whom you date and you have the right to set whatever preferences you chose.  Your heart, your choice.

JayneDough:
Ermm... not so sure I'd want to break up with him over something so silly...? We haven't been together for only a few weeks, it's been a couple years. Which I know may not be very long, but I wouldn't want to end a relationship over that, of all things.

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