Author Topic: Clean is fun too  (Read 1692 times)

Offline frostillicus123

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Clean is fun too
« on: August 17, 2007, 03:19:49 PM »
Clean can be funny.
 
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."  So he tied her up and went golfing.
 
**************************************************
 
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn 't matter," she said. "Just get out."
 
****** ********************************************
 
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
 
********************* *****************************
 
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters 
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'  "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
 
**************************************************
 
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."  "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonay."
 
**************************************************

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful! CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
 
**************************************************
 
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
 


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Offline Paul

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Re: Clean is fun too
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2007, 03:27:09 PM »
Great job, Frosty.  You're right clean can be funny :*))
"...and I--I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."  Robert Frost

Offline Tyler

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Re: Clean is fun too
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2007, 03:54:02 PM »
Wow Frosty, you've redeemed yourself!  Too funny!!
People are not limited by the circumstance that they are born in. They are limited by the size of their dreams. Show them that their dreams can have no limits and in turn their accomplishments can be limitless.

Offline frostillicus123

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Re: Clean is fun too
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2007, 12:36:33 AM »
redeemed my self????

Tyler buddy that implies i've lost something.. all my jokes are funny. and you better agree *shakes fist* I'm bigger than you.


yeah i've told some pretty cheesey jokes.
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Offline MagmaBabe

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Re: Clean is fun too
« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2007, 07:56:21 AM »
ahahaha!! Frosty, your jokes are great!  O0

Don't listen to Tyler, he's just jealous cos you're funnier than him! ;) :D
although, I'm sure the third one wasn't a joke and was an actual fact?!  :*))
I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances ~  Martha Washington

Offline JDog

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Re: Clean is fun too
« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2007, 08:01:42 AM »
Frost I nominate you as official SBG Jokemeister. Most of the time you hit the mark. That Polish one is great.

Offline warhawk

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Re: Clean is fun too
« Reply #6 on: August 23, 2007, 12:21:31 PM »
good one....frost  ;D ;D ;D

WARHAWK O0
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Offline Timmay

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Re: Clean is fun too
« Reply #7 on: August 23, 2007, 01:21:11 PM »
Jdog....everytime i see your pic....its always a quarter after 1.....whats the deal?

Offline wpruitt

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Re: Clean is fun too
« Reply #8 on: August 23, 2007, 08:36:45 PM »
Makes for a good e-mail to the old folks
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

Offline frostillicus123

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Re: Clean is fun too
« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2007, 01:57:17 AM »
what's funny is it's one of the better fwd's my old man has sent me..... lately it's been the gody love god and the world crap....
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Offline JDog

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Re: Clean is fun too
« Reply #10 on: August 24, 2007, 06:57:23 AM »
Jdog....everytime i see your pic....its always a quarter after 1.....whats the deal?



Tim love the new avatar mate.

I've never noticed the 115 thing ,wow spooky.Could be a sign.

Offline MagmaBabe

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Re: Clean is fun too
« Reply #11 on: August 27, 2007, 04:43:38 AM »
yeah, a sign ya need new batteries!!  :D
I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances ~  Martha Washington

Offline JDog

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Re: Clean is fun too
« Reply #12 on: August 27, 2007, 06:40:29 AM »
yeah, a sign ya need new batteries!!  :D


Magma, Ill have you know that I stole that wall clock out of the hospital waiting room after we took my son in for a post natal checkup.

My wife would breast feed him in the living room and never had a clock to keep track of the time. I saw that one and managed to hide it in his carrier.


Offline shyslyguy

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Re: Clean is fun too
« Reply #13 on: August 30, 2007, 01:58:31 AM »
 :*)) :*)) :*)) Great stuff Mr F,

LMAO at no. 2.  O0
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