Twenty, balding and looking young

[Crowex]

Hey, guys!

I'm a new member of these forums and I'm desperately looking for some advice.
I've been losing my hair at my crown and temple since I was 17/18. I'm 20 now and I've finally decided to take action, I'm honestly not interested in a hair transplant or taking all sorts of drugs to regain or stop the hair from falling out, just ain't my sort of thing. However, I'm still looking young and I wonder if being bald will make me look odd. I'm really considering to go bald, however..

What I am afraid of though is how the people around me will react. I'll try to sum up some of my fears.

- My friends and family's reaction to me being bald
- The fact that I still look young
- Public situations (people staring, throwing weird looks at me)
- Anxiety

Have there been a lot of young people on these forums that have decided to go full-bald? What's the best piece of advice you could give me?

Thank you

[SILBaldguy]

At 29, I'm a bit older then you, but only by several years. I am/was however in the same boat as you. I started getting my widow's peak around 16-18, which has expanded a little bit more each year, then at 24-25 I started to get thin in the crown before losing most of it around my immediate crown area by 28. My sides and back are still thick and full, though the top is starting to thin a bit now. It was at 28, May to be exact that I shaved. Not as big of a deal as generally I've always keep my hair short for most of my life minus a couple years in High School when I grew it out to shoulder length.

When I finally caved/took the plunge I first used clippers on the lowest setting and kept that for a week or so, then clippers without a guard and did that for a few days, then shaved with a razor to completely bald. Reactions where mostly minor which wasn't too much a surprise as the bald look even by choice is almost as popular as the so called Man Bun in the states especially for people in their 20s and 30s. Typically they'll shave their heads and grow out their beards for the 'floating beard' look which is essentially what I did. (I keep a beard all the time at various lengths from short to several inches long currently at a couple inches length.)

I'm not sure how baldness on youths are taken in your country as I see your from Belgium so the culture is probably a bit different then in America. If your hair is currently longish, I'd say cut it down progressively, taking about a third off each week or 2, until you get to about an inch or less length, then cut it to a buzzcut for a week or so, then without a guard for a few days, then go for bald (shave). This makes the change a bit less drastic and progressive so people won't notice as much at first and will 'warm up' to the newer look gradually. Consider growing a beard or goatee during this time as well. It doesn't need to be long, but should be full (if your able to grow a decently thick enough one). This will draw more attention to the face and less to the scalp, but your results will vary. If you opt for the beard keep it trimmed and even to make it look less messy and more youthful if your looking to keep your youthful appearance in tack.

Once you you've reached to the bald step, some people especially relatives might be curious, but hopefully not negative. The key is to be confident in and own your new look, and people generally won't question too much. Hope this helps some.

[bennett11]

many years ago when i had full head of hair I kept it cut very short - by desire I wanted to be  bald.  actually gave me confidence - i started shaving head in 1979 long before it was somewhat common. 

[mrzed]

The day I shaved my head I got six comments on my new bow tie. Nothing about the head shave. I did buzz it down gradually over a month or two, so the change was not dramatic.  Started at #2 on the clippers and went down about 1/3 of a clipper number each week until I was as short as the clippers would go. Then took the razor to my head.

Around here, there are so many guys who buzz their head or shave it bald, you don't stand out. Very common.

Only mother will fuss and she will get over it in 30 days.

[DoberDaddy]

Without photos... hard to tell.

[KDusk]

When I finally got rid of my acne at 20, one year later, my hair decided to recede and thin out. At 24, I decided to shave my head, and I had the exact same fears as you. My experiences:

- My friends and family's reaction to me being bald: I'll be honest. Aside from the 3 or 4 people that said it looked good, most of them were apprehensive or downright shocked. But that was the first two weeks, and most people don't like radical change. After 2-4 weeks, everyone came around and decided my shaved head didn't look so bad after all. After 3 months no one even remembers you ever had hair.
- The fact that I still look young: This was also my biggest problem. On top of that: shaving your head and trading your 'balding head, thinning hair' for a 'modern no-nonsense' look made me look even younger. This is where the experimenting comes in: I grew some stubble and changed some of my clothes to look more my age.
- Public situations (people staring, throwing weird looks at me) : that's mainly in your head. After shaving, every new person you meet has never seen you with hair. They just think you've looked like this all your life. Of course, if you're going to stand nervously in the corner, people are gonna wonder what is wrong. So just wear it with confidence (even if you don't feel like it at first).
- Anxiety : This is the elephant in the room, isn't it? A bald/shaved head isn't the cause of anxiety though (if anything, it's probably a result of it). Low-self esteem on the other hand may cause anxiety. But I have found out that shaving my head has given me more self-esteem: no one's going to make fun of my receding hairline anymore, because I am in control.

I know no one wants to go bald in their 20s. But believe me, people who go bald in their 50s have it just as hard (the 'at least he has a good head of hair' doesn't cut it anymore... cue mid-life crisis). But if you've been feeling down and beaten up about the current situation for quite some time, maybe it's time for a change. I'm not pushing anyone to shave, especially not young people. But your hair is probably going to recede further, get thinner, and you're going to feel less-confident and more anxious. When you shave, you just get that one short and awkward period where your family members and friends will be shocked, but that's it. You reclaimed control over your 'hair' and everyone gets used to seeing you like that. One less thing to be worried about.

[jbrit25]

KDusk nailed it. 90% is in our head. Friends and family will give you a bit of grief for a couple of weeks, but after that no one will really care.