Confidence and Success > How to Build Confidence

Confidence at an all-time low after remark from close friend

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tobler1:
Wes,

I think you look great.  You hardly look like a middle-aged man.

clipped:

--- Quote from: WesM on November 01, 2015, 11:56:40 AM ---
My friend (a girl) commented on how "I looked like a forty year old man going to pick up my kids from school" when she saw me for the first time with a shaved head and beard (I'm only 3 weeks into this).  I'm 24 mate. Sometimes people don't realize what they are saying. Shes a fantastic person/friend so I took it lightly (i mean  do look older). Just don't let it get to you.


If you stay healthy and keep in shape (lift those weights), and dress sharp, you have nothing to fear. O0

--- End quote ---

I think when some people say things like this, they are betraying an outlook that associates "balding" or "bad" with "old".  They are not thinking of the complete person...how fit you look; skin tone, muscle definition & tone, your outlook on life, attitude, etc. They are only thinking about your face or hair.

Not exactly on point, but I have an identical twin brother. Occasionally, I will mention to someone who doesn't know me or my brother, that "I am an identical twin" (without saying it's a brother).  You'd be surprised how many people respond ..."brother or sister?"  Think about it! 

jbrit25:

--- Quote from: WesM on November 01, 2015, 11:56:40 AM ---Hey man this is my first post. But I feel you.


As someone stated above, a beard well help define your jawline. If you are able to grow one Id suggest playing around with it. As someone with a relatively weak jawline this has helped me a lot. My jawline is wider now and more defined.Plus it takes away the uniformity of a bald head and face/neck. It works great in my opinion.

My friend (a girl) commented on how "I looked like a forty year old man going to pick up my kids from school" when she saw me for the first time with a shaved head and beard (I'm only 3 weeks into this).  I'm 24 mate. Sometimes people dont realize what they are saying. Shes a fantastic person/friend so I took it lightly (i mean  do look older). Just don't let it get to you.


If you stay healthy and keep in shape (lift those weights), and dress sharp, you have nothing to fear. O0

--- End quote ---

You don't look old at all. I have found that the "shock" that people that knew you before you shaved seems to causes them to overreact to the difference in appearance. You look great man.

Degtyarev:
Thank you very much, people. Sorry for the late response. I've been growing more confident as time passes. However due to my occupation's dress code I cannot grow a beard, but oh well.

DeanJones:
The problem is not your jaw but your "Friend" He's no friend. I am sure that if it was not your jaw he was talking about it would have been something else. to say something like that to you in public was meant to hurt you. There's no way around that.
I have several things about myself I don't like. I think everyone does. But sometimes we have to learn to make friends with the person in the mirror. It's not easy.
I think before you even begin to address whatever you believe about your jaw, address who you really have as friends and what they do for you. Someone who makes you cry, is not a friend.

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