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Confidence at an all-time low after remark from close friend

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Degtyarev:
I've had my head shaved for a while now, approx 2 years after realizing the disaster of a balding head I was content with at the time.

I was pretty confident with my shaved head (appeared as a head full of hair from the stubble that'd appear after shaving, as if I shaved despite a 'head full of hair')

but then one friend, my closest, made a pretty nasty remark in the middle of our social circle, saying ''your forehead goes all the way to your neck man, your thin jaw and bald head makes you look like an alien!''

I kept my cool at that moment, 'jokingly' kicking him and stuff. I cried that night after hours of looking at myself in the mirror.

I've been trying all kinds of stuff- jaw exercises to make them appear bigger, etc...

I've been wearing hats constantly and aggressively defending myself from anyone who attempts to take it off, however this won't cut it, obviously.

What can I do? My forehead appears huge from the front too, but from the sides it doesn't appear big at all.

I've been considering plastic surgery for my jaw which I believe to be too thin... I just don't know. Are there any other people who share my problem? Any people who've got advice for me?

If not, I find myself a bit relieved after just writing this here... needed to vent a bit.

Razor X:
First of all, don't let comments from other people bother you to that extent.  It's not easy but you have to learn to develop a thicker skin.  People say these things to try to control l you -- to get you to do what THEY want you to do.  Don't give anyone that kind of power over you. 

Second, I'm sure you look fine.  I wouldn't consider surgery under any circumstances. If you're not happy with your jawline, try growing a beard to cover it up.

mrzed:
Well said, Razor X.

No surgery is needed or desirable, just for cosmetics. 

Remember you are your worst own critic.  You are just fine the way you are. Just keep shaving and enjoy the bald feel and look.  You've got lots of support right here at SBG.

buddha:

--- Quote from: Razor X on October 25, 2015, 03:39:49 PM ---First of all, don't let comments from other people bother you to that extent.  It's not easy but you have to learn to develop a thicker skin.  People say these things to try to control l you -- to get you to do what THEY want you to do.  Don't give anyone that kind of power over you. 

Second, I'm sure you look fine.  I wouldn't consider surgery under any circumstances. If you're not happy with your jawline, try growing a beard to cover it up.

--- End quote ---

+1.  O0

Sounds like you and your "closest friend" need to go on a break.
I've never really had the problem that you describe outside of a few incidents a long time ago and I'm not sure why. It seems like a lot of guys report this. But as in the situation with your "friend" I would liken it to turning on a stove and sticking my hand in the fire. After this, depending on variables, one of two things happens: If I am of normal mentality I make the decision that the fire is an uncomfortable place for my hand to be and I don't go there again. On the other hand, if I have some "issues" I repeat the same gesture over and over expecting a different outcome and this is the very definition of insanity.
Whether or not you continue to tolerate and expose yourself to this kind of aberrant behavior on the part of people that you consider friends is entirely your decision. That's something that you have to keep in mind.
I was a tall and gangly kid in high school although I was very athletic and played several sports. A "friend" of mine, who was beset by a couple of issues related to his diet suddenly started calling me "freak" because of my height. This thing never came to blows and we never even had words about it, I just cut him out of my circle of friends. That was the end of it, no drama, no punches thrown, no tears shed. I moved on and found new friends and with regard to him I never reciprocated his unkind behavior by referring to his clearly visible difficulties.
So the thing is that you have to realize that you deserve better even if the only company you keep is the guy looking back at you from the mirror. I don't know why people pull this kind of $h!t but this is the acid test of who, among your friends, is going to have your back in a tight spot. If they don't pass that test then they are acquaintances, not friends. After you understand that the whole friend thing gets a lot less complex.

MunkyMunk:
I've got kind of a weak chin, so I use a beard to beef it up.
Beyond that, as I mentioned on my own thread here, I need to make peace with the face that I have. I don't much like it, but it's what I've got. I don't think surgery is helpful because the issue is in our own heads.
Sometimes I look at celebrities who are a little unusual looking, but who I think look pretty decent - and I think to myself that if I had their face I'd be unhappy with my looks. But I think they look fine. My point is that we each need to make do with what we've got. If you can grow facial hair, give that a try.
But the most important point is that your friend is a huge jerk. Seriously. Who says something like that to a friend? Only an idiot and/or someone who is actively trying to hurt your feelings. Not cool. Ditch that jerk.
So many people in the world will try to bring us down; we need to consciously choose to associate with those who will support us and help build us up. Life's too short, brother.
Hang in there.

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