Hanging on To Your Last Thread of Hair

[DOC_OSMC]

It's been a few months since I've been on, but a recent conversation I had with a couple of co-workers spurred me to get back on here.

Yesterday in the office, a couple of co-workers and I got to talking about hair, hair loss, etc.  One of them said that every time he goes to get a haircut, his stylist says something to the effect "Has anyone ever told you your hair is thinning?" And annoyingly he says he responds with, "Yeah, you ever time you cut my hair." This got us talking about the uses of medicated shampoos like Nioxin or treatments like Rogaine and Propecia, etc.  He said he's interested in trying those but they are expensive and he's unsure about how effective they'd be.

Truth be told, his hair is thinning pretty seriously, he's got a very apparent bald crown and the front is pretty thin.  Short of me telling him that he should just shave his head, I just told him my story of having tried all those products, and eventually coming to the realization that I was losing the battle of the hair and finally manning up and shaved my head.  He says that at some point, he knows he probably will have to shave but is holding out until he absolutely has to.

So that led me to think....am I doing this guy a disservice by not telling him that he should go ahead and shave his head now?  I mean, I knew that eventually I would shave my head, but I'm wondering if someone had pushed me and told me sooner, that I would have done it much earlier than I did?

We get guys on here all the time asking whether they should or shouldn't, but that's kinda different because they knowing are coming into a forum for bald guys.  I'm talking about guys walking around with peach fuzz on top or obviously bad thinning hair or balding guys who's balding pattern is not the greatest, etc.  I'm talking about guys that are holding on to that last strand of hair when it obvious that they've lost, and won't or can't face it.  I've been seeing this a lot lately and it makes me wanna go "Bro, can I give you some advice, just shave your head, we both know that you're balding.  Man up, take control, and just shave your head.  You'll feel a lot better, I guarantee it!"  I know this may sound a little cold, harsh, and presumptuous, but seriously, who if someone had said that to me, yeah I'd probably be a little pissed and a little self-conscious, ok, maybe a lot self-conscious, but I think it might have spurred me to act.

What do you guys think....Is it our responsibility to our fellow balding man to snap them out of their denial or really it's none of my business and I'm just being a vain egomaniac?

[SlyMike]

It's a difficult one, you could possibly suggest that he gives it a try if it ever comes up in conversation.

[Cave Dweller]

My view is that every guy has to make up his own mind about his situation. I wore a horseshoe for well over twenty years before I got the itch to shave. I had been happy just the way I was, and probably would have been more than a little riled if someone had come up to me and given me an unsolicited opinion that I should shave my head. The implication would have been that the person thought I looked bad. About as polite a thing to do as telling someone she would look better if she lost weight.

Unless he is blinded by his pride and ego, a balding guy is aware of his hair loss. If he chooses to face reality by accepting his situation and letting nature take its course, who am I to tell him he is wrong?

[Quiet_Dan]

If someone is bothered by their balding state and talking to you about it, suggest they face it and shave. But someone in the street, or not bothered about it, best to leave and let them make the choice in their own time. One of my uncles has been wearing the horseshoe for longer than I can remember, I've seen their wedding photos and he was then too, that's closing in on 30 years

[Tyler]

Once people know that I started this forum they always put me in situations like this.  My typical response is that most guys that come to the website to learn more and end up shaving wish they would have done it sooner and that they will probably be in the same boat. 

[DOC_OSMC]

I mean, I understand respecting people and all, but it's just....man, lately I've been seeing more people balding and the things they do to try and cover it up or lack of attention to it just gets to me!  I just want to kindly tell them there's a solution for it. 

Yes it is just one man's opinion but, like I said, if someone had pushed me to do it earlier, unsolicited or not, the self-consciousness of it would have made me do it sooner.

[slybeard]

I think it depends on your relationship with the guy and how you think he would react.  I had a similar conversation with a guy I had worked with for over 20 years.  I knew he would not be offended.  I even brought him a few before and after photos of guys with similar hair loss.  He was very open to the discussion, but had no intention on shaving and said he never would shave, and so far he has not.

I had another friend tell me it would be just be too much effort and was happy just trimming his horseshoe every couple of months.

So far I have two strikes and no hits.

[Sir Harry]

Close friend? I'd just bring it up casually, but would not pressure them
Acquaintance/someone I didn't know? Only if they asked me.

[clipped]

Since the guy brought up the topic, I think it's OK to give advice. He didn't really ask for advice, but that's the way guys talk sometimes when they want advice (if they think that "asking" for advice is a sign of "weakness").  But I'd express the opinion, maybe say a bit about the benefits for you, and move on (until he "asks" again).  I wouldn't "advocate" or badger him, or try to convince or embarrass him into it.

[Cylore]

I tend not to comment on someone's appearance unless they specifically ask me about it.  Or unless I'm messing with them.  But as for a serious discussion, you've gotta be careful because people can get offended, even if what you said should have been OK.  Some guys like the horseshoe and some guys just don't care, so you never know where someone is coming from.