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How do I stop caring about hairloss? (21)

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Anonymously Balding:
I noticed the first signs of a receding hairline back in February. I panicked like crazy and did tons of internet research on treatments and such. I figured I had caught it very early and so with a little treatment I can keep my hair forever.
I used minoxidil for about 7 months and my hairline has steadily receded with absolutely no signs of improvement or slowing it down. I've decided it isn't working and I've just been buzzing my head to a number 1 and accepting it, or at least trying to.

I don't think I can do this, I hate that my hair is falling out. Here is the thing. All over the internet you read these posts of men losing their hair that are terrified of what people and especially of what girls will think. I don't give two shits about that! I understand completely that what someone else thinks just straight up does not matter in the slightest and that some girls actually like a bald head. The girls that don't like bald guys will overlook the fact that you are bald if you are confident, have a good personality and take care of your body.
Personally I think guys who have full heads of hair and guys who are starting to recede have a bigger problem with bald guys than women do because they are scared that they are going bald.
Before I started receding I didn't even notice whether or not someone was bald and I didn't read in to it at all, when I noticed it was starting though all I could do is look at guys heads and examine their hairlines, looking for signs that they were balding so I wasn't alone.

I don't want to be bald because I don't like the look. Not because I care what people think but because I don't want to be a white bald guy, being darker skinned and bald is actually a pretty good combination but pasty pale white and bald?. Frankly it fucking sucks that choice is being taken away from the equation. It has been a major hit to my confidence and I'm not sure what depression feels like but I think that in the last year I have been in and out a couple of times. It feels like my youth is being stolen away from me (I'm 21), every time I look in the mirror and see those thinning bald spots on the temples I'm reminded that I'm not as young as I once was and that I will continue aging and eventually die. I DON'T WANT TO THINK LIKE THAT AT 21!

I know there is nothing I can do about it. I know there is no fighting mother nature. I'm done with minoxidil. I'm done with caring. I don't want to be so bothered about it anymore, I want to just let it go and be happy and care free again, but I just can't help but feel bad about it. I can't no matter how much I try come to terms with the fact that I'm balding. But I want to.

It's constantly in the back of my mind, I have found it hard to find enjoyment in anything for very long before it pops up again in my head 'You're balding' and then I'm upset again. I know how ridiculous this must sound, it's only hair right? dead keratin that sprouts from the top of your head right? It doesn't change the person underneath right? I know all of this and still can't come to terms with it and just not care.

I don't know what sort of replies I'm expecting, I guess I just needed a place to vent.
I would love to hear from guys who started losing their hair in their early twenty's or younger and how they got past it and stopped caring. because that's all I want.
No offence to people who started balding later on in life but I feel like it is a different thing entirely when a 20 year old loses his hair as opposed to a 40 year old. Your opinions and advice are still valued though.

AJ Q-Ball:
Man, believe it or not, I'm 28 and already bald. I know where you're coming from.  I started losing mine in my early twenties. With me, once it started going, it didn't let up. Mother Nature can be cruel at times.  You say you don't want to be a white bald guy because you don't think that's a good combo as opposed to being darker skinned. Let me just say I happen to be a white bald guy and have gotten nothing but compliments since I decided to permanently shave my head clean.  I have never felt as good about myself and I don't ever have to worry about hair loss again. To go along with that, I've not had a shortage of ladies to talk to.  I'm not bragging by any means but they can see I'm happy and confident in the way I look. As you've seen, minoxidil is just a waste of money over time because nature isn't going to let up.

I hope I've helped you in some way man. Losing hair isn't the end of the world. People who truly love you will love you with or without hair. If you ever decide to shave your head bald, give it 30 days in order to get used to it.

Razor X:

--- Quote from: anonymously Balding on November 11, 2014, 12:43:12 PM ---
I know there is nothing I can do about it. I know there is no fighting mother nature. I'm done with minoxidil. I'm done with caring. I don't want to be so bothered about it anymore, I want to just let it go and be happy and care free again, but I just can't help but feel bad about it. I can't no matter how much I try come to terms with the fact that I'm balding. But I want to.


--- End quote ---

Once you realize that you can't fight it, acceptance shortly follows -- because there really isn't any other option.  Shave your head -- even if you really don't want to, because you will feel better for doing something proactive.  It does get better. Hang in there.

geeman:
Good advice from the brothers, and you sound like you may be ready for a buzz cut.... Shaving isn't for everyone, I buzzed mine for a couple of years before taking it all off... At 21 it is cruel to lose your hair... But it's only hair... I don't miss mine.... I don't even think about it anymore.... hit the gym... You'll feel better about yourself and your hair won't matter.... Its all about perspective.... You have your health and youth.... I'm more worried about getting old than bald lol.... And there's nothing I can do about that either!

EmDe:
I have also felt horrible about it in the beginning. For the exact same reasons… I felt way to young, loved my curly hair and felt like choices were taken away from me. You actually seem to have one aspect 'right' already: knowing that you can look great and that attractiveness towards women is not (solely) depending on the hair on your head. I agree with Geeman about hitting the gym… I truly enjoy training with friends and for me it helped a lot to feel and look strong. Looking around really confirmed to me that being fit and buzzed/bald is a good combination.

After that, just tell yourself that complaining and worrying is not going to change anything, so it becomes a choice whether or not you will let that influence the brightness of your days. I really remember the moment when I decided not too and it felt amazing. The world is not fair, we all have different backgrounds/opportunities/looks/skills to 'work' with, so think about your strong assets and the things you enjoy doing and turn the focus on those aspect up a notch. That really contributes to feeling better in many ways.

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