How Can I Get Over Becoming Bald?

[crownless]

  Hey guys... I just wanted to tell my story.

Its been about seven years since I noticed the first signs of hair loss at age 16 and its been on my mind ever since. I went from being confident to being depressed and sleeping all the time. I entered college and was diagnosed with depression and put on an anti depressant. After a few weeks, I had a mental break down and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and withdrawn from college.

Its been a few years since then and I've completed my college degree but I still struggle daily with my hair loss. I have started to use rogaine but I have also considered using propecia in the past.

Logically i know propecia is BAD. I know that it can cause sexual and mental side effects in the men who take it and that the side effects can be permanent in a small (though not as small as merk wants us to think) portion of the men who take it. The long term effects of propecia are not well understood at all. We could be creating a new generation of men with Alzheimers or impotence.

However emotionally I just want to be free from hair loss. I feel as if I'd sign my soul away if it only meant I'd be able to keep my hair. I feel that without the hairloss and the resulting depression I'd have done better in school, that I'd actually BE somewhere instead of working at a grocery store with a college degree. That I never would have taken antidepressants or been diagnosed with a psychiatric condition. It feels like God Himself knew exactly what would break me and decided to put me through it.

I need some guidance right now.

[Cave Dweller]

Welcome, sir.

Hairloss in high school? Been there. Balding in college? Yep. Been there, too.

You are not the first man to experience hairloss at a young age. It has been happening to guys for milenia. You also are not the first to worry and become obsessed about it. I am sorry it has hit you so hard.

If you are pinning all your hopes on a pill or cream or razor to resolve your problems, however, I am afraid you are in for further disappointment. You alone have the ability to get yourself past your hair and on with life. Go out and look around you. Notice how many other guys are out there with balding heads who are living normal, happy lives and who have thinning/receding/balding hairlines. Despite what the commercials try to tell you, hairloss is not the end of your world unless you allow it to be.

We talk often on this board about having confidence in yourself. It really is true. Most people do not care about your hair. They are looking at how you carry yourself and how you present yourself. Your hair is just one aspect of how you look like eye color and shoe size.

Whether you choose to let nature takes its course with your hair, ingest and apply chemicals to try to hold onto it, or shave it all off, you cannot allow your self image and self esteem to get wrapped up in what is happening on your scalp. You have got to have confidence in yourself.

[Frontier Guy]

The Dweller is right ... hair does not make the man.

I work in the tourism industry and personally interact with (literally) several thousand people each day - either individually or in groups/families. They've never seen me before - hair or bald - and not once has anyone mentioned my smooth scalp (unless it's another Sly guy). There are so many other characteristics about me that give rise to comments - spirit, eye contact, height, weight, smile.

Truth be told ... I am in a much better place since I shaved my hair completely. Haven't missed a day in more than two years ... and wouldn't consider it.

As Dweller wrote, you are in control. Do you really want to rely on a pharmaceutical crutch?

I wish you well. Time for me to shower and shave and greet the world!

[slybeard]

Listen to the great advice from Cave Dweller and Frontier Guy.  I wish you well.

[Sir Harry]

Welcome! Sorry that your hair loss contributed to you  going through so much...but at least you finished college which counts for something. Good luck and keep us posted with everything.

[Magoo]

After all this time your still struggling with your hair loss,and buzzing or shaving is not your choice. You my want to consider professional  counseling to help you through this stage in your young life. Long term drugs is a poor choice , IMO.     

[Goatee]

Well, the thinning hair aint going to go away! Popping pills or using creams etc is not going to help long term but may shorten your life!

You know, i would shave what remains of your hair off! Think of it as a new start in life. From the moment you do that you are going to make changes to your life. Ok, it 'may' take some getting used to or, you may start kissing the mirror as you find you love the completely bald look!

Millions of bald guys in the world. Some through choice other not. Why not pick up a trimmer / razor and join the ever growing club? Bald is beautiful (except on my ugly shoulders!! lol).

Go for it! Make a change for the better. Good luck

P.S. If you do trim or shave the head remember to keep doing it for 30 days so that you have time to see if it is for you.

[baldjoeg]

Well said cave dweller and Frontier Guy and Goatee.

Good luck to You. Give it a try. You will probably like your new look a lot.

[Curly]

Sorry to hear crownless.... I didn't start losing my hair that early but at 21 was pretty tuff also..... I tried propecia for a year.. Lucky me no side effects but was still losing hair..Then I went and got a toupee.. To be honest I thought it helped for a year or so. Then for the next 10 years I was depressed because I had that thing on... I really don't recommend anyone wearing one. So, fast forward 5 years after I took the toupee off and I couldn't be happier. I don't even think about it anymore.  Hope you can get thru. We are here for you....

[slymyke]

Welcome, Crownless!

As you see, many of us have dealt with balding by either trying to ignore it or taking action like chemicals and hair pieces of some sort, or transplants.  One common thing among all of us is how once we finally shave it off, we wonder why we didn't do it sooner...  the answer is really because we were not ready (no matter what age we may have been).  It is your decision, but I hope you read through the other treads of this forum to see some of the many stories of guys just like you, who have experienced freedom of balding by taking action.  There is confidence that comes in making a decision to take control and be bald... on your own accord. 

Whatever you decide, we are on your side.  --we just happen to be biased toward shaving...lol.

[Goatee]

A good thing for you Crownless is that you found this website! So many great guys with caring advice.

[50plus]

I would like to second that said by goatee. Stick with this site too mate and you will be fine. make the change and go through a relatively short adjustment period compared with the many happy days ahead. That was my experience anyway and know it was so for those who were in your (our) position. Please let us know how you go and again do yourself and your future a big favour. You will not be sorry.

[50plus]

I failed to thank you crownless for your open and honest story. thank you for sharing what is at this point a very personal and almost overwhelming issue. I didn't want it to sound like all is rosy.

Also, another plus 1 in favour of curly's comments. If you are or have thought of a hair piece of any sort I beg you not to go down that road. I did it for quite a few years and it's like walking on egg shells everywhere you go.

Keep in touch.

[mrzed]

I did not start loosing my hair, until I shaved it off.  (well, didn't really loose it, I just keep it shaved).  But I just like the bold look of a shaved head. I appreciate the sharp look of a smooth dome.

I also shave my head to encourage those who are balding that it looks really good on a guy. 

I guess it's about attitude and style.  There are lots of guys here on SBG that have a smooth head, whether they are balding or not.  Most have a good attitude about it ... actually, really positive attitude about it.  Hang around. Take a look at the profile pictures. Every guy sly bald (well almost). I look at the smiles on these guys. 

Sly looks so much better than thinning or comb over!  Now, time to go shave my head again.

[Steeltoe]

Let me offer another interpretation of events, from someone who's been in your situation.

(1)  16-18 is the classic age for the first mental break as a result of bipolar disorder. Mine was when I broke up with my first boyfriend. The severity of my breakdown was out of proportion to the triggering event. A breakdown is also out of proportion to feeling bad about balding. Bipolar was almost certainly already there.

(2)  Until you're in your early 20s, your brain has not fully developed. The last part to develop fully is the limbic system -- the home of emotions and self-regulation. That's not related to balding, either, and it's not your fault. (You should google for this information or ask your doc, if you don't want to take the word of a random guy on a web forum.)

Taking a psychiatric drug can work wonders, but anyone on meds should be talking to a counselor (not a physician) once a week. Even with brain chemistry stabilized, there are habits and patterns of behavior that need to be addressed. A counselor can also teach you techniques for dealing with miserable feelings.

You're at a difficult age. Go easy on yourself!