Torn.....

[Kaygee]

Hello everyone. Good to be here.

40 year old married male.

I will show you a couple of pics. The first one was how my hair looked for years. I got tired of it looking like that so I decided at an impulse to shave it off. Now I look like the second pic. I had to grow some facial hair because it just didn't look right.

I am still torn about this. I know that I probably do look better with the shaved head, and I am a realist and know full well that I am going bald, but I can't help but feel that part of my soul was shaved away with my head. Some people look good with a shaved head. I feel I lost some of my personality with it, and now I look like every other "every day joe" that shaves their head.

Anyway, thanks for reading. It's good to have a support group. It's amazing how I went on for years, holding on to a hair style that just didn't work anymore. After I shaved it, everyone, except my wife, said it looked better. People mentioned (nicely) how the way I was doing my hair just wasn't working. My brother told me one time, that "it's time to embrace it." He is six years younger than  me and shaves his head. Somehow, he got it worse than me, but he embraced it years ago.

I look forward to getting to know some of you!

[Frontier Guy]

Welcome Kaygee,

You look just fine so nothing to worry about appearance-wise. However, your self-esteem needs serious attention.

Every one of us is different, of course. Did you not feel significantly unburdened after shaving - no longer having to worry about the constantly moving line of scrimmage between forehead and thinning hair?

What gives you reason to think your personality has diminished since you shaved?

The key item you didn't mention is how long has it been since you shaved your head? If it's quite recent then you need to relax and allow time to adjust to the new appearance.

Regardless of whether you think you look like every other "every day Joe" with a shaved head, you are still unique. It's just time to let that "inner you" shine through, which should be easier now that you are hairless.

Stick around this place. Lots of guys with lots of perspectives and suggestions.

And again, welcome.

[Kaygee]

Thank you for the reinforcing words!

I am here because I am not feeling very good about the decision to shave it, but I know that I had to. I am just having a difficult time right now. It is fairly new, about three weeks now, so I guess I should be used to it, but I am not yet.

Do I feel a little better? Sure. But I envy those with a full head of hair.

[warhawk]

Hi Kaygee:  Welcome to the sly fraternity.  We are glad that you are with us.  All I gotta say is that you look like a natural, sir.  As FG stated nothing wrong with your chrome dome but what is inside it.  We can give you all the confidence in the world but if you don't have confidence in your appearance or self then we cannot help you.

Once you embrace your chrome dome then you will not envy any one with a full head of hair.  Look at me... I got a big Charlie Brown chrome dome and I absolutely love it.  I don't envy any one with a full head of hair.  I absolutely love my look.  No more worries about fixing my hair, shampooing my hair, gelling it up, wind messing it up.  Why would I envy someone with hair.

One thing about being a true member of SBG is that you have to embrace yourself and the rest will follow.  There is nothing better then a super, smooth shaved dome.  Matter of fact, I cannot wait for my next head shave.  For me... the sly life gets better each and every day.

WARHAWK

[Mike E. P.]

Hi Kaygee,

First off - the shaved head looks great. I know how you feel. I struggled a long time over my hair loss. Way back in the day, I had thick, straight blond hair. It's what the girls often said was my best feature. I know you know how I felt when it stated to recede, thin, and bald. Mine was a slow process that tortured me the whole time. some of the guys on The Forum came to peace with their hair loss rather quickly, accepted it, and moved on. That was not the case for me. I agonized over it.

Like you, I got to a point where I couldn't accept the way my hair looked anymore. I started buzzing it in my mid thirties and now razor shave. I have felt good about my appearance for a long time now and this has not bothered me in years. I am happy with the way I look and I am happy this is no longer an issue for me. The same will happen for you. Just give it some time. You need to get used to it.

And there is no such thing as an Ordinary Joe bald guy because we are all much more than our hair. Keep your chin up, man. It will get better for you. This forum is a great source of support. Use it to your full advantage.

[slymyke]

Hi Kaygee,

I just commented on your other post, but wanted to say something here too after seeing your before and after pics.  First of all, thanks for adding them.  That may help others see how much improvement they can achieve by doing the same thing if their hair is receding. 

Your after pic is great.  You did the right thing, in my opinion, by growing out some facial hair.  That is a way to get a totally different look and balance out your face in a new way.  I don't know you, but from the outside, it appears that you went from looking like and "every day Joe" with a balding head to a cool shaved-headed dude with a great personality.  I think that is how others will see it too, and those who already know your personality will see an improved sense of confidence as you get used to your new look.

Your wife (like mine and most if not all of the others on the forum) will grow to love it quickly.  Mine has recently apologized to me for not liking it when I grew out my full beard.  Now she loves it too!   

[tobler1]

I think the new look is great!  You may not think so yet, but I hope you'll see it for yourself very soon.

[Tyler]

Hey Kaygee, welome to SBG!  It looks great!

[Sir Harry]

Kaygee, welcome! Don't be so hard on yourself, you're just going through what we call the "mourning period" about the loss of your hair....It's normal to get rid of something that you had to get rid of, but you still miss it....It's good that you are getting good feedback, and you also have your little brother to help you with advice as well. Good luck and participate often!

[reddog]

IMHO shaved bald is a huge improvement, no wonder you are getting positive reactions.

[Kaygee]

Thank you all for your responses! I feel better than I did just yesterday about it now. I guess I am being too hard on myself....it's just hair. It doesn't change the person I am, and if someone doesn't get to know me just because I do not have a fill head of hair, then they weren't worth getting to know anyway.

[ksshane]

Just my opinion, but I think you look more professional in your after picture.

I think we all go through that uncertainty the first time, but my advice it to give the 30 day trial.   I believe you will find the pros far outweigh the cons.

[slybeard]

It does look much better, you just need more time to make the adjustment.  Adding facial hair helps as well.  Remember, it's just a short hairstyle, very short.

[Kaygee]

The support here really does help!

You know what I think the problem is? I read all over online how happy everyone was once they shaved their heads and how much better they felt. It seemed that the results were immediate.

After listening to some stories here, it seems that feeling a little uneasy or unsure about it at first is normal. I thought there was something wrong, I just need time to get used to it.

I really appreciate everyone's support! It's good to be amongst such supportive and positive people.

[baldjoeg]

kaygee,

Welcome to the forum.  You look awesome with your head shaved. I hope that you will get more comfortable with it in the future. It took me awhile to do it but it has now almost been 10 years. I am loving the chrome dome. Just think! No more bad hair days.

You have gotten some great feedback here. Hope that You will post often.