The Way of Sly..for me?

[LuckyJim]

Hello everyone!

I was hoping for some advice/support regarding shaving my head.

I am a 23-years-old male, and have been receding since my late teens, and have reached a point where this hair loss is very noticeable. For some time I tried to be inventive and mask this rapid hair loss, until a couple of months ago when I agreed to have my head shaved with a trimmer by a friend who recommended I should try it (after a couple of beers...).

In the cold light of the morning (and sobriety) I was very unsettled with the look, but by the end of the day I loved it and had received mostly positive comments from work colleagues. I have posted links to a couple of pictures which will illustrate how I wear it now and also highlight the steady decline of that hairline.

It is because of the receding hairline that I wear it shaved to the length it is now, which I am generally happy with. I still however do not like seeing the hairline, and especially loathe the slightly thicker area, the 'peak', at the front of my head. It is because of these feelings that I want to completely shave the hair and go bald.

I do have a few reservations, which I was hoping you kind gentlemen would be able to help me with. I am worried about going bald at a young age like 23, would I look out of place having a bald head at my age? I also wonder if it would suit me. I consider myself to be fairly good with women, even with my anxiety issues regarding my hairline, but I wonder if going bald would hinder my success and desirability in the eyes of the fairer sex. My decision is also compounded by the opinions of my family...I have raised the subject of going bald and have been met with stiff resistance and heavy doses of disapproval. 

Any advice regarding any of this would be much appreciated! I encourage constructive discussion.

Many thanks,

Yes yes,

LJ

https://www.dropbox.com/sc/yr1hh2tb7sk0x10/Dnh8FKj6vI

https://www.dropbox.com/sc/ib1af2jv31ete7y/VDfKzkiQNf

https://www.dropbox.com/sc/nxeie1n4s3kztqq/1MeuC7PQ6u

[isleepinthebuff]

Hi LuckyJim,

welcome to the forum.

On the hairloss, I think there are more guys around now your age that shave their heads as it's now acceptable and seen as quite normal. It's noted that it's better to shave than to  comb over and there are plenty of younger guys that do it now.

from a hair loss point of view, you are receeding and the problem with shaving your hair down with clippers is the shadow shows the receeding area more, so you're kind of caught between the devil and the deep blue sea!

However I still think that shaving it down to the length you have done shows you're embracing the hair loss and not hiding it, so I think it's a better move and you're a good looking guy and can carry it. As a result I am sure the fairer sex won't be bothered and I'm sure they'll love rubbing your head.

why not go for the full shave on a friday evening when you have a quiet weekend planned, by the monday it will be trimmer length

[Hingatao]

Going full sly is just a small step from where you are now and you say you've received a generally positive response. I say go for it! If you decide you don't like it, your hair will grow back in a couple of days.

[jarheadj]

Dude, going "sly" will not hinder your desirability with women but most likely enhance your relationships!!! The first time I shaved my head when I was 20-21, the girls went crazy over it, wanting to feel it and had absolutely no problems getting dates. When I was a Marine Corps recruiter not too many years ago, I went into high schools and found that the teenage students who shaved their heads were considered some of the coolest and most popular guys in the school!!! As far as your family?? I'm 44 now and when I shaved my head a few months ago, my mom was devastated other relatives made the comments; "you have a beautiful head of hair. Why shave it?!?!?!". All I can say is; my wife's okay with it, I love the way it feels and looks and if you slick your head down; that's an issue for your family to resolve, not yours. If they are being that petty to disapprove something like your head then they really need to get a life....

[Cave Dweller]

Welcome, Jim.

If you want to shave it off, then by all means do it. You are 23. You can make your own decisions about whatever haircut you want to wear. For some odd reason, family members seem to be the most negative about males changing their hair styles. Mothers are the worst.

MANY men your age have had that same MPB look. I am one of them. The shaved head actually can make your natural balding less noticeable. I think you will look great.

And don't worry about how women will react. The shaved head is not going to hinder you.

[g_bald]

Welcome to the forum, LuckyJim!

First, let me say it looks like you have a good head shape for the sly look. I would encourage you to give it a try.

As for the family, well, I can tell you mine has been pretty 'disappointed,' even thorugh MPB runs in the family (actually, it gallops...  ). My mom doesn't care for it and most of the others are at best apathetic to it. I have a couple of cousins who commented favorably, though.

If you are concerned about the change, I wouldn't be. When I went sly (from an almost #2 buzz) - a couple of people reacted, but one person said 'it was so short anyway - it really isn't that big of a change' and so that boosted me up a little. Then I grew to enjoy it more and more. The act of shaving is very soothing and what I once thought would be a terrible chore, has turned into a delightful time where it's just me and the razor, the world seems to disappear.

If you do shave it smooth, give the 30-day rule a try. You'll probably find you enjoy it more and more and I am sure the ladies will love it too. Just carry yourself proud and you'll be amazed at the results.

[Sir Harry]

Jim, looking at your current pattern, I say you have nothing to lose by going sly...You have a great headshape, and the glasses enhance the sly look on you. Good luck!

[LuckyJim]

Thank you for taking the time to respond, Slyest, Hingatao, jarheadj, Cave Dweller, g_bald and Sir Harry! It's very encouraging to get some positive responses from those of you who have gone the full sly, I wish I had joined SBG sooner.

As Hingatao and g_bald have pointed out, my hair is so short now that going bald would only be a small step. It has been playing on my mind for a couple of weeks, and after reading your comments I think I'm going to follow Slyest's suggestion and clean shave it this Friday. It should be a quiet weekend for me, and I'll have time to adjust before going to work on Monday - no doubt I will get a lot of comments!

Whether I'll be able to stick to the 30-day rule is another question. Unfortunately I can take even one bad comment quite to heart and I wonder if I would have the courage to follow it through past this weekend. I do suppose it is just a question of people getting used to it. In any case I will of course upload some pictures Friday evening and see what you gentlemen think.

Many thanks for all your good advice,

LJ 

[g_bald]

Hey LJ,

More than glad to help you out... I know what it feels like!

One piece of advice though, don't let negativity keep you from something you like/love. If you love the smooth feeling and some "negative Nancy's" make comments, it's their own insecurity ('gee, I wish *I* was brave enough to do that" or they just enjoy knocking others down so they can stand proud over the wreckage of someone else's pride; it's a false pretense).

I can tell you I got mocked and kicked around as a tall, lanky kid who was clumsy and insecure. It took me being out on my own, learning to be independent of what others thought, to come to grips with my own self-worth. People who sneer and laugh at you aren't worth the time of day to worry about. They'll just make you feel down when they "appear happy." I can almost guarantee you...they aren't.

[Sir Harry]

Lucky Jim, I can relate to the lack of confidence due to being unpopular and/or a nerd in my younger days...Believe it or not, I started making more friends when I cut my hair shorter....In fact I think a shaved head exudes confidence and makes people look at you differently in a mostly positive way. Nowadays, if I go more than a few days without shaving, I get flak to shave! You may get a few people to make their comments in the beginning, but if you keep the shaved look long term, eventually people will get on with their lives, and you can live yours (as an SBG) Good luck this weekend!

[LuckyJim]

Cheers for the encouragement, g_bald and Sir Harry. Hearing positive viewpoints like yours is getting me psyched to get my shaving gel out and crack on with it!

It's good that I can associate, as (shockingly..har har) I myself was a big nerd in my mid-to-late teens...I didn't care for my appearance, walked with a stoop, was scared of women. I've changed a lot in the last couple of years, I walk tall, I take excellent care of myself and dress sharp, and do much better around the fairer sex. I've come to realise the last hurdle of my journey (or possibly the start of my journey!) is to shave my hair and gain that extra confidence my current hairline denies me socially. I've had a pretty rough time of it the last few months, and I think with your support and guidance I'm ready to get on with things, my first positive step being going sly.

I've done some reading around what is usually best for head shaving, however I would ask whether it would be prudent for me to shave against the grain or with it. I've read that for beginners shaving against the grain is not advised, even though it supposedly gives a closer cut. Any thoughts on this?

LJ

[isleepinthebuff]

we're all differnt. I love your glasses SO much. I went slightly bolder and blacker with my last pair but I'd love to have the balls to go for the style you have. They are wicked. I couldn;t wear them because I don't have the balls I could carry it.

When I went sly I also was a bit worried what people would say. I did the Friday thing and it does grow by the Monday, might be slighty shorter but then a zero. I did it a few weekends so I made sure I liked it and I was used to it - you'll be more critical than anyone else. When work colleagues saw me not much was said.

The next stage was shaving the moment I got home after work, so I had all evening and night for a shadow to start to appear.  Your hairline is quite similar to mine when I started and believe me when you don't want your hair to grow it grows (I have a bald spot at the back which annoys me more than the front) The  when I was confident and people were used to it, I shaved one morning before work. No one said a thing, to be honest the comment stopped when I shaved my hair originally!     

[g_bald]

I've done some reading around what is usually best for head shaving, however I would ask whether it would be prudent for me to shave against the grain or with it. I've read that for beginners shaving against the grain is not advised, even though it supposedly gives a closer cut. Any thoughts on this?

LJ

Ah...being inquisitive...love it!

ATG (Against the Grain) is the smoothest. If you want super smooth then that's the ticket. However, if your hair is a bit longer or more sensitive then With is a better choice. I always shave Against.

One thing to keep in mind is that with the razor is that the hair (well mine does anywhay) seems to change direction of which is which direction. Not that it will matter all that much.

If your skin is particularly prone to razor burn (i.e. your face) you probably want to stick to WTG to start until you get used to it. Make sure to get nice, hot water soaked into your scalp before applying the lather and nice long, smooth strokes with a fresh, sharp razor. It does make a world of difference!

Good luck and let us know if you need more advice or suggestions!

[Sir Harry]

Since you are razor shaving for the first time, I suggest investing in a razor with at least three blades. Here is a small starter list:

1. A good shaving gel (Shaving soaps are better, but you can invest in that once you get the hang of it)
2. Some Witch Hazel to splash on your head (Aftershave will do, but it usually stings after a shave)
3. Ice Cubes to rub all over your head immediately after shaving (closes the pores)
4. Skin cleanser (Sea Breeze, Noxzema, Dove) You can do this either before or after your headshave.

On a side note, the pic in your avatar does look pretty solid, however you appear to be ready to get this done once and for all. If you are afraid of making a rookie mistake, maybe a barber could give you the first headshave. Good luck and keep us posted! 

P.S. If you need any more tips we're here for the asking!

[LuckyJim]

Hello Chaps,

Just a quick update. Heard from someone at work of a barber who shaves heads. It's also a whiskey bar! So as I had a half day at work I'm in the pub now awaiting my appointment this afternoon when I'll get a cut-throat head shave and complimentary whiskey and shoe shine! Thought a professional job would be good to start me on my way. I'm feeling equal amounts trepidation and excitement. I'll whack some pictures on later today. Wish me luck!