New to the site

[collegedude19]

Alright so I hope I'm posting to the right thread but this is my first time on this site. I'm 19 and a sophomore in college. I first noticed my hair changing my senior year of  . It started with my hairline ever so slightly started to recede, I didn't even notice until some of my friends started joking about it. Since then to this day my hair has started to thin all over on top and it's getting to the point where I have no self esteem anymore. I've always been able to get girls but now its at the point where I barely try anymore. I tried laser hair therapy and I'm almost positive it did nothing. I've been on rogaine for the last year and a half and I think that might of made things worse. But anyways like I said it's getting so bad that I don't know what to do besides buzz it really short/shave it. My hair is as short as you can cut it without clippers so probably like a 4.5. The only reason I haven't buzzed it to a .5 or 1 is because I think I'll look goofy. I'm a skinny, sort of pale baby faced 19 year old so I can't imagine it looking good. And to make things worse my ears kind of stick out. What do you guys think I should do? And I can post pictures tomorrow hopefully. Thanks in advance.

[TheSlyBear]

Firstly, I think you should ponder on this statement that you made:

I've always been able to get girls but now its at the point where I barely try anymore.

Then look up the term "self-fulfilling prophecy".

Secondly, go ahead and give yourself a close buzz. You're worried about looking "goofy", but your'e clearly already unhappy with the way that you look, to the point where you are self-sabotaging your life (see above). So at worse, it'll just be a different look, and at best, you'll look better. I'd bet on the latter. But if not, it grows back, so nothing lost, and no down side.

Welcome to SBG.

[collegedude19]

yeah I'll probably start with a close buzz and then eventually go all the way sly.

[wpruitt]

Welcome, Collegedude19

[Timmer]

The only time I had longer hair was when I was high school and college.  My dad was a WWII vet and had my hair buzzed until I finally started paying for my own cuts at 14.  After college, I joined the Air Force and well...short again, often buzzed when I was deployed or in hotter climates.  Back in 2005 I got tired of paying $10.00 a week for bad haircuts and my forehead was rapidly gaining ground, so I took it all off.  When I have tried to grow it back, it's very apparent the the forehead is winning AND I've got the Monk's spot, AND the top is very very very thin.   

It makes absolutely no difference what anyone else thinks.  It's what makes you feel comfortable.  I'm at the point now where if someone asks why I shave my head, I either tell them, "Because I can." or "I'm getting in touch with my inner Buddha.  Namaste."  Either one of those usually does the trick.

[Cave Dweller]

Hey, CollegeDude.

TheSlyBear once again hit the nail on the head. This has to come from within you.

A lot of men start to lose their hair in their late teens and early twenties. Mine started when I was 17, and I did not shave it until I was 51. No matter whether you crop it, shave it or leave it alone, you have got to stop allowing your hair to be the measure of how you perceive yourself.

Most women find a man with low self-esteem and no confidence to be a real turn off even if he has the physical look they like. Even women who like a man with a full head of hair can and do take an interest in a balding man if he has other things that attract them. If you treat your hair as being no big deal, your confidence will be one of the first things a woman notices about you.

Now, if you want to shave it, do so and wear the look like you mean it. Sure, your friends are going to make a few remarks, but if you show that you are confident in yourself, it will not go farther than good-natured joking. Once the hair comes off, there is nothing left to fall out.

And Welcome!

[waine]

Welcome Collegedude19

I can only echo what has already been said on this thread.  Think about it, read some of the hundreds of posts here on this topic.  Going completely bald in one quick moment is a big leap into potential vulnerability.  You may look in the mirror and hate it, especially if there are esteem issues at play.  However, sometimes that is the only way to get the desire to see what it is like, out of your nagging mind.  Regarding the question of Sly, or no Sly, I always say if the seed is there: "Just do it!" I say this with authority as that is exactly what I did and I am happy I did.

All the best, and yes, post photos, we love pics!

[Sean25]

Welcome to the site, you sound exaaactly like me.  I came here at 19 with fears of losing my hair and what everyone would think of me.  I was afraid a girl would never look at me again and people would make jokes about my lack of hair.  First off, I'm sorry you're going through this because I know it's tough for just about everyone at first, but believe me, it's going to be fine.  It sounds like it's time for you to take the plunge, maybe slowly by cutting it shorter and shorter.  For me, I just took the plunge right off the bat.  Everyone on here was so helpful and encouraging, I know they'll be nothing but the same for you.  Best decision I could have made.  Never got into the drugs or rugs and I highly suggest the same.

As far as girls go, don't even sweat it.  It may take a few weeks to get all your confidence back with your shaved noggin but believe me girls will like it.  You may come across a few that don't but think about your own preferences and things you don't like about girls.  It's completely fair for people to like and not like certain things but you have to understand that there are sooooo many fish in the sea.  I've found quite a few girls that love my shaved head and quite a few that didn't care either way.   Sometimes it's just not in the cards, but most of them are just superficial anyways and those aren't the ones you want.  In the end it's mostly about your personality with things like confidence and humor being more important than a full head of hair.

In the end though it's about what you want and like and I recommend you start hitting the gym.  I'm a personal trainer and the confidence that comes with a little muscle and conditioning is good for everyone.  I'm not saying you go out and get huge but even a little bit helps.
If you have any questions just send me a message.

[g_bald]

Welcome collegedude19!

AS far as physique, we are very similar in that regard, I just have a few more years under my belt. I lacked a lot of self-confidence in myself and felt myself to be pretty much an abject failure at everything when I was around your age. And then I realized my hair was getting thinner and thinner, much like yours is.

I was uneasy with my hair, it made me look old when I saw myself and how thin it was and the more thin it was becoming. So I went with close buzz cuts to compensate. After a while the closer and closer I got to the scalp I realized the more I should just "man up" and lather up. So I did.

You may decide you like the close buzz - which is fine, some guys do. Myself, I prefer sly, a smooth head is a great and wonderful feeling! Hopefully, should you decide to "go all the way" you'll agree.

I also found myself more 'carefree' after going sly, not in a impish sort of way but more like not caring. I see odd looks, heard a couple of jokes here and there... I just keep walking and don't let it faze me. This is about ME and not about THEM. Think of it that way. You'll walk a little taller when you realize that YOU are in control and YOU are ready to take on the world. You just need to take the first steps to fulfilling your own potential.

That being said, all the other guys have great points and there are a LOT of good "Ears" around SBG. Advice and support are what we're here for. No matter whether you go sly and stay that way, or decide something else, it all comes down to the choice you make for yourself.

Good luck sir and hope to see you around - so we'll know how you're doing and who knows, maybe YOUR experience down the road will help another out in similar circumstances.

[collegedude19]

Thanks to everyone whos taken the time to reply, it really means a lot. I'm going to go to the barber really soon and take it down to a 1 on top and a .5 on the sides probably and post a before and after. Who knows maybe after that I'll just go no guard all around.

[Sir Harry]

Welcome, CD19! A barber is always a good place to start when going shorter...or even sly. Good luck and looking forward to the pics!

[-Doug-]

Welcome College Dude!

[Magoo]

Welcome collegedude , your plan sounds good .   

[50plus]

The decision is yours but I say go very very short buzz and take it from there. You say it's effected you self esteem at the

moment. This is highly unlikely to be the case after you buzz/shave. Your self esteem will skyrocket. Yes…there is a settling in

period but it's your future/long term happiness you're after so put up with the short lived adjustment stage. i picture a happy

chappy just around the corner. 

[bennett11]

at your age I wanted as short a buzz cut as possible.  Gave me the confidence that I had the courage  to be different.