A young novice entered a convent and upon arrival was introduced to the Mother Superior, who explained all the rules to her including the very important rule that the novice would be required to take a vow of silence. After five years, and on every fifth year thereafter, she would be allowed to speak two words.
On the fifth anniversary of her arrival at the convent, the novice, now known as Sister Mary Catherine, was summoned to the Mother Superior's office:
Mother Superior: "Sister Mary Catherine, you have been here exactly five years. You may now speak two words."
Sister Mary Catherine: "Cold food."
Mother Superior: "I am sorry to hear that. I will have a word with the cook and make sure that your meals are warmer in the future."
Five more years went by and Sister Mary Catherine was again summoned to the Mother Superior's office.
Mother Superior: "Well, another five years have gone by. You may speak two more words."
Sister Mary Catherine: "Hard bed."
Mother Superior: "I am so sorry. I will see to it that you get a softer mattress."
Another five years came and went and Sister Mary Catherine was again summoned to the Mother Superior's office to speak her two words:
Sister Mary Catherine: "I quit!!"
Mother Superior: "It is probably for the best. You've done nothing but bitch ever since you got here."
