humorous BIC review

[gutsygirl]

I love reading reviews on Amazon.  Every now and then I come up with a jewel like this one:

Product: BIC Sensitive Single Blade (those famous yellow ones)
http://www.amazon.com/BIC-Single-Shaver-Sensitive-12-Count/dp/B00070QF0C/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Perfect Marriage: Bic Blades + Noxzema Medicated Shave, February 25, 2012
By Ron Z (Atlantic City, N.J. USA) - See all my reviews
Noxzema Noxzema Medicated Shave Cream

Whether you have sensitive skin or not
You might want to give these Bic blades a shot.
They are the best I've ever used;
My face feels smooth and in no way abused.

They seem to be wider than other blades.
As for Schick and Gillette, they just don't make the grade.
I use the blade once then it goes in the trash
'Cause a new blade shaves best. Hey, I don't sweat the cash.

Now, I'm not a scientist, chemist or such
So my take on Noxzema won't count for that much,
But I know what I like and I like what I use--
I've been using Noxzema Shave since '92.

Just one small suggestion: Don't shave with a beer.
I know it sounds crazy, "Don't shave with a beer,"
But back in my teens I did shave with a beer.
Ignoring dad's warnings I severed my ear--
(Today I use only one headphone to hear)
And fate coined the moral, "Don't shave with a beer." *

And yes, I have other examples of that,
Like the time when I slipped in the bathtub--no mat.
My left arm got broke and I busted my rear.
The moral, young man, is don't shave with a beer.

But these come in 3's so I'll give you one more--
The time when my shower door fell to the floor.
I had leaned up against it to see who was near;
The moral, young man, is don't shave with a beer.

And Noxzema is good, but it's not meant to drink
Although SOMEtimes some enters the mouth, not the sink--but
Before it starts tasting delicious--adhere!--
To the moral, young man: DO NOT SHAVE WITH A BEER.

*I was using a straight razor at the time. Not a Bic. Straight razors are also called "open razors" or "cut-throat" razors.


---  Makes me want to read all of his reviews! 

[gutsygirl]

This one also gave me a few smiles:

Product:  http://www.amazon.com/Double-Safety-Razor-Blade-Variety/dp/B0038KA5RC/ref=cm_rdp_product

 Hi Gals!, February 7, 2013
By Jade C. "Vote the Environment"
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Double Edge Safety Razor Blade Variety Pack - 100 Blades! (Health and Beauty)
No, boys, I wasn't calling you names. This information should still be of use, just know this isn't a man's review.

I'm addressing the ladies that made it this far, searching like I was, back in Aug of 2012. Gals, safety razors are not just for men and they are better for the earth if you care. Whaddaya know, I'm a hippie that shaves...

I have a big heavy antique razor (thanks Gramps!) that I love and was using for a half year with great success. BUT, the weighted handle of higher end razors work better for guys I think. If you are a gal trying to shave your legs and nethers in a gym shower braced like a drunk yoga flamingo with one leg against a wall in such a way that the stream of hot water (or hot water bucket!)is accessible but not splashing soap off your intended target, weighted handles don't help, ease of movement does. I posted a similar but modified review for this little guy MERKUR Bakelite Safety Shaving Razor (Model: MK030), I had purchased it as a travel razor but soon found it way easier to use for my purposes and err...delicate target areas. Ahem. It takes some learning but the journey is worth it. And again, this process is WAAAAAY better for the environment. Plus I don't like giving WalMart my money. *cough THE DEVIL cough*

It's February of 2013 (6 months)and I still have about 40 of the 100 blades I purchased in August. I shave my legs every two days in the heat, here in CA that's summer, fall, spring. Every 3-4 days in winter unless I'm training in the wilderness. A cold water shave in the woods is possible with these blades just not as "fun" in 30 degrees (EEP).

I really appreciated that there were enough different razors in this pack to test, against each other and on different areas of my person...data is still being collected on which I liked best for where, but this package enabled me to try different combos over a length of time that would give me more accurate testing results (your skin changes with long term use of a particular blade, it's cool like that).

Ladyfriends and Mancreatures, safety razors are a cheaper, closer shave once you spend some time learning the process, I've learned to love the art and ritual; it's not a waste of time, it's a personal investment in my awesome frakking legs. The men that are privileged to touch pay compliments, the girls with their overpriced Venus Mach whatevers are jealous and want to learn. Also, while I am tough enough cookie to take the pain of waxing and I love the results, I could still plan an adventure trip for two weeks in Oregon with the money that Brazilian, arms, pitties, and full leg waxing would cost me per year. I feel it's too much to pay for the discomfort of someone politely making small talk about my weekend while they are staring quite closely at my oddly positioned body parts and I am having to resist the urge to punch them in the face for ripping my hair off. PASS. $25 plus the razor cost is going to last me at least 10 months and no one gets to look closely at anything on me until it's smooth and pretty.

As a final note, I do not buy the creams and foamy lotions and balms for use with these blades from retail, stuff loaded with nasty chemicals that easily absorb into skin and cause freaking tumors and hormonal unrest. No thanks. I make my own soaps or shaving creams in my kitchen (timesink: a half hour every two months). There, I can load them with stuff that's good for my skin and smells fantastic. Tea, honey, rosewood, argon oil, coconut oil, and bentonite clay are just a few items I use, but there are tons of recipes online. My guy friends beg for my soap, they grow weary of chemically dried and fried skin.

If you don't want to spend your time to make soap, I get it; there's emails to be read, beer to drink, and naps to be had. You have compromise options out there. I've used this soap A Wild Soap Bar - Black Willow bark shaving soap; it works and smells good, it's just cheaper and more customizable for me to make

Good Luck and Happy Weedwacking.

[gutsygirl]

Lol. Guess I was the only one who really enjoyed these?  Lol. Go figure....