Lurker gone member

[Chazz]

Hey man i totally get where u coming from,hairloss can be soul-destroying. you build up this self image that your comfortable with and then when you hit the 20s hairloss shreds it to pieces.

Im 23 and considered a decent looking guy by some of the ladies but then hairloss came along and now im wrecked as to the image that ive created for myself being torn apart from hairloss.

The answer i can give you is that is about confidence, i have a friend thats bbc and not a great looker but gets girls because of rocl solid self-confidence, he refuses to let the perceptions of others define who he is, he says that a bald head and rock hard self-confidence is far more effective in getting the ladies then a full haid of hair.

So my advice would be to work on how you see yourself, find out what defines you, ( this iswhat im currently doing), then shave it off and rock the rockstar lifestyle, hit the gym, if you got a great body girls will be checking your body out not your hair.

Hope that helps mate. Best of luck.

[KALBO]

Welcome Pat! I was "blessed" with thin hair and a very high hairline that began to recede when I was 18. Personally, I wish I could take back the last 17 years I had spent hiding under a hat! I can't add much that hasn't already been said, other than it says a lot when someone isn't in denial about their hair loss...you've come to the right place for ideas and support. Look forward to your future posts!

[warhawk]

GR8 advice and info from all r sly brahs here.  welcome....pat 2 the sly fraternity.  keep your head up and keep us posted.  remember   that we support u.... my new sly brah.

WARHAWK

[BALDANDRE]

Pat...bro...don't get caught up on the "my ears are too big, ect", thing....

Your ears show now...and probably stick out more because you have hair framing them...shaved clean you'll just have the same tone...gleaminly smooth flesh! 

You're not the sly style guy....who is initially...sly comes in every body/style type....dude shave your head clean, stop stressing (you're too young) and go have some fun with your new found SLY confidence and...

 NEVER look back!

Trust us bro!

[Leigh_12play]

Hey Pat, welcome to the forum

[RustyRuss]

Hi Pat,

Remember this.  The primary reason all people, men & women alike, go bald is due to higher levels of testosterone.  In essence the excess testosterone is killing off your hair.  Rejoice in knowing that you are a young virile love/sex machine who has better things to do than worry about hair.  Save your money on the treatments is my recommendation.  We, sly bald guys, are the exception in a world that is excessively judgemental.  Be strong in your own convictions and try the sly look if that be your choice.  If you're like most of the guys here you will overcome the down side of hair loss.  I find it easy to make fun of myself and rejoice in the fact that I've entered into a new phase of life.  I've come up with a gillion phrases/slogans that I tell myself frequently.  Here's one for you to try:  Bald Like the Eagle, Bold Like the Bull, Strong Like the Elephant, Stubborn Like the Mule!  100% Animal  It is you who determines your fate by large in your attitude, people who really know and care about you didn't begin a relationship with you for your hair.  Best of Luck to ya from Texas!

[Argyle]

Ok having a late one at work so thought i would throw my contribution into this mix aswell. 

Firstly where in the UK are you from?  I am from the wonderful, slightly wet Yorkshire countryside - the UK contingent on here is mounting up! 

Anyway, I was, and guess still am in a similar boat to you.  When I was in my teens i used to get comments from mates about receding which i just laughed off to be honest.  By the age of 22 it was obvious that i was losing my hair.  I am now 28 and have had considerable hair loss, so much so that the only time i would have any hair on the top of my head is if i let it grow back (if that makes any sense at all) what i mean is that a shadow is noticable when I shave whereas the hair on top (albeit very little) most definitely is. 

Anyhow, my theory is as follows:

- I have not yet seen anyone on this site who has regretted shaving, whatever their age etc etc.
- As an observer i have not yet seen anyone who looks worse having shaved
- We all have things we dont like about ourselves whether we are sly or not, mine is the shape of my head, but ultimately i hated having curly hair too, it is just more acceptable to hate being bald!

I figure I am as ugly (or otherwise) as I was before I shaved all that has changed is I used to have hair. 

You will also (in my experience) find that the comments stop when you shave it all off.  In fact the MD of my company who also has MPB has asked me half a dozen times if i just wet shave my head, and aloways follows it up with i wish i had the guts to do that.  Comments are generally positive (although maybe I am scary looking being 6ft 4). 

I have also found that it has no detrimental impact with the ladies.  Although very happy in a long term relationship I can recount at least a couple of occasions recently when i have gone out and could have hooked up with someone of the opposite sex.  The guys have it bang on, confidence is the key and what you must cling on to.  Relying on a 'treatment' will perpetually leave you wondering how long it will last and how long you are delaying the inevitable.  When you shave, you accept your look and the sooner you get that over and done with the sooner you can enjoy life again.

I can associate with all your neurosis re: mirrors etc and i still have that on occasion but most of the time i look in the mirror and am pleasantly surprised that i look better than i do in my head! 

Also I have big ears too and i dont think you should worry about that at all, it is all part of who you are and what your friends, future relationships and colleagues will like you for. 

Right I had better go home and see if Mrs Argyle has had a baby yet!

[**sticks**]

hey Pat, welcome to SBG!

Im currently 20 and have been sly now for almost two months (seems so much longer now).

Its hard to add on anything that hasnt already been said but i'll give it a shot...

I know exactly that feeling that you get when your balding in high school. I remember specifically in about 10th grade when a friend of mine who was taller than me told me publicly in class "Hey man, you have a huge bald spot!"
Yea, the next few weeks werent that great. All i got were comments of my balding. I convinced myself that its all ok and that its just a stage, that it will grow back...

Well, it didnt....it got worse...and my self-esteem got worse...

eventually i got over caring about what people thought....everyone thought i was extremely older and it became my "thing" (as sad as it may be, i accepted that).
Going into university was extremely difficult again. It was hard to have everyone judge me again and consider me an outsider because i seemed to be such an older person who is already balding at 18/19.
And trust me, i got the comments. I got the same "dude, your balding---why?!" (haha now those questions about why im balding i think are the stupidiest questions ever, anyways i digress) You know, it was extremely hard to deal with but people got over it and more importantly i got over it...it wasnt easy by no means...

its hard for me to tell you that its an easy thing and everyone gets over it...just not true...it is a very difficult thing to deal with...till two months ago i was still having a hard time dealing with it...(there are just so many ways you can cover a bald spot) For me, the hardest was the family. I had relatives who were "worried" about me and kept recommending me to different doctors who can help me...as if i had some disease....argh...

anyways, it all changed when i saw some bald guys and loved the look they were sporting...i decided that night that i would try it...something in my head snapped...like an off/on switch...i didnt care anymore that i was still on school, that i had a big family event where everyone would see the next week, that i didnt even do any research, that i didnt think i would have the head to be bald......i just did it...

and here i am today...quite happy!

still miss the hair sometimes but you know what the funny thing is...i miss the hair that i had when i was like 10-12, not the hair that i had anytime in high school and after....

I havent looked back since and i am truly happy....my confidence rose and everyone accepted it (with time of course)
Now, i cant even imagine myself with hair again!
and im going to a different school to study, in a different country! but now, instead of caring what people would think about my hair or look, i care about whether they will understand my hebrew....
my priorities have changed, my outlooked changed, so overall im a happier person.

Now, pat, the sly thing worked for me....just overall it worked....it clicked...

I can preach to you that its the thing that you need to do as well but i cant....you should decide that you need it or you dont...that same thing that clicked in my head needs to happen in yours...

anyways, i've rambled on again and dont know if i actually answered anything but feel free to ask me questions since we are so close in age...

-Leo

[BALDANDRE]

Nice reply Leo!

Felt like I was there with ya bro!

Real glad you're diggin' the bald sly way these days...it fits ya bro!

P.S. you gonna be able to be on the board when you're off , abroad , at school...hope you can still throw it around with us every now and then!

[jusbnme]

Yeah, good reply Leo! 

Welcome Pat.  First off let me say that I don't think you look bad at all with the hair you got right now.  I think you might be blowing your situation way out of proportion.  But if you would go sly you definitely could rock that style bro.  I'm not quite sure what you are meaning when you say that it wouldn't fit your style.  If you mean the friends or people around you then would you really want to be around them anyway if they would except your "style" or whatever else about you?  In my opinion the hair treatments are a big waste of time.  Like baldrob said it's a lifelong process.  Do you really want to have to put up with all that forever?  Shave your head bro.  It will be the best thing you have ever done for yourself.  Whatever your decision just know you have plenty of support on this forum.   

[**sticks**]

Nice reply Leo!

Felt like I was there with ya bro!

Real glad you're diggin' the bald sly way these days...it fits ya bro!

P.S. you gonna be able to be on the board when you're off , abroad , at school...hope you can still throw it around with us every now and then!

thanks man

i def. felt like everyone on this site were right there with me....couldnt have kept it up without the support of the people here....

of course im going to still be on the site even after i leave! im here to stay....

[fireman]

Welcome Pat!

What sticks (Leo) said is good stuff. I was really thining in my early 20's after having the hockey hair lookfrom the late 80's.

Remember...only a few perfect heads are made, the rest were given hair. Let the dome shine through

[HotCajun]

Welcome to SBG Pat......give us a pic of that shiny dome!!! I'd venture to say it looks hot, but that's just me