To be bald or balding (WITH PICS)

[Omega]

Hi

I don't know if this post will be a rant or a desperate seek for help - but here it goes.
I have finally reached the end of my tether about my hair. I've never had the best hair really, as a kid I had a big fod because my hairline started a little bit higher up my head, my sides weren't as forward as everyone else’s and for some bizarre reason hair on the side of my head (near my ear) never EVER grows past a certain length. I started noticing hair falling out when I was about 16 which is around the same time that I actually wanted to grow my hair. I had long hair through college but I constantly wore a hat (Constantly as in if I had a sleep over at somebody's house I WOULD wear the hat, constantly as in the hat was never of my head) I wore this hat because I didn't want people to notice the large fod and the thinning hair. I went through this stage between the ages of 16-18. At 18 I had to cut my hair due to my job as a sales rep and I couldn't wear the hat whilst working. My friends then started going to nightclubs and things and I couldn't/didn't want to because you can't wear hats in these nightclubs.

So now I’ve just turned 21. I've pretty much lost all my old friends due to sheer embarrassment about my hair and not wanting them to see my real hair. I've known some people for 4-5 years and they still haven't seen me without a hat on. I avoid these people as much as possible unless I know they are going somewhere where I can wear my hat. If I’m going out without my hat on (to work for example) I'm always worried that I might see somebody I used to know in my hat days.

Sometimes I'm OK about my hair and don't mind going bald but other times I really do care and I feel like I have no future because of it. This morning I was all dressed and ready to go to the gym and I went to collect my gym shorts from a certain room in the house that has mirrors on both sides of the wall so that you can see the back of you. I try to avoid this room because last time I was in there I was generally gutted about seeing the state of my hair at the back. Today I saw the back of my hair and it has got much worse. You can CLEARLY see that I'm balding on top of my head and it looks disgusting. I'm actually embarrassed that I've been walking around looking like that. Sometimes I wonder why some of my new friends even associate with me.

I'm also very scared - yes scared - about shaving my hair. I'm worried about what my family will think, I'm worried about what my friends will think, I'm worried about what my colleagues will think, I'm worried about what people in the street would think and I'm definitely worried about what I will think. I'm very pale skinned and I don't want to look like some kind of weird vampire.

So I'll attach some pictures because I really need advice from you guys (and maybe even girls, who knows) as I won't speak to anyone I know personally about this matter.

And by the way - I never ended up going to the gym after entering that mirrored room... I think I might just stay in all weekend and cry. (Not really, but I probably will stay in all weekend now because I hate the way it looked)

I've been thinking of taking two weeks off work (16 days) and I'll shave my head on the first day and if I don't like it it can grow back.

Please give me some advice and inspiration to join the bald crew.

Thank you.

[Razor X]

You're clearly unhappy so it's time to do something about it.  Get a buzz cut and show it off to the world.  It can be a little scary at first, but after you meet a friend or two without a hat on, it gets easier.  After the first time, you'll be amazed at the relief you feel when nothing bad happens.  

Buzzing your hair won't make you look any less bald, but it will make you feel better to know that you've done something to take control of the situation. Just confronting the fear and doing it will bolster your confidence.  All you  have to do is take that leap of faith and do it.  I guarantee that no one is going to laugh at you.  If you don't like it, let it grow out and least you will have found out. Otherwise, you'll just continue to be unhappy and obsess over your hair loss and wonder if you should shave or buzz it.

You've got a decision to make -- and from what you've said I think you know that already.  If you need a little encouragement or push, we're all happy to do that for you, and we'll also provide support afterwards.  But the first step is up to you.

Good luck.

You might also find this post from a week or so ago helpful:

http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=13319.0

[Magoo]

I was trying to think of what to say till I read what Razor x had said. He was right on what he had to say. Most of us have gone Sly from wearing the buzz cut for a while. It's a way of easing your way to the Sly look.

[JBGood]

Here is my advice omega.
You got MPB. Same as me at your age.
You need not worry so much about things you can't control:
What people think.
Mail Pattern Baldness.
And concentrate on the things you can control:
What you think.
How you cut or (if you decide) shave your hair.

The last I checked, when I shaved my head I had no pain, no death was involved either, so, no reason to be scared. It's very difficult for me to relate to onthefencers. It seems so difficult for you guys. To me it is hard enough to deal with loosing your hair, let alone putting yourself through such worries about something as simple as shaving your head.

But, we are here to support you. Listen to these guys.
And make your best true to yourself decision and move forward.

[Sgt. Pate]

You will never know how great is is to be Sly until you try it.  You can try as hard as you want to try and imagine but bro, there's nothing like being free from hair bondage! 

Shave your noggin' !

[The Noggin]

I agree with Razor X and Magoo.
Try a buzz cut for a while. It's not a giant leap but more an evolutionary way to solve your problem.

[Papa Don]

Hello Omega! Welcome to the best site on the web.  I kind of know your pain.  However, my problem was not loss of hair but hair with a mind of it's own.  Nothing I could do would make it controlable.  The best thing I ever did was shave it all off.  I can understand your reluctance, but believe me when I say it is the only way to go.  Sure, I received a few negative remarks ( Quiet a few-Positive), but guess what,  I kept breathing and the sun rose in the East as usual.  I have been shaving for two years now and the people with the negative remarks are over being rude. And it is a shock to see oneself in the mirror after the deed is done, but after the first 30 days (official rule to being Sly), you too learn to accept the new you.  The agony you are going through will not go away until you take control of your fate.  This fretting will also eventually ruin your health.  DEpression is not fun!  So my friend, the ball is in your court.  Best of luck to you.  And please let us give you all the encouragement to need.

[marty22]

buzz cut and go shorter as stated above. Then decide.

[TGB1]

Razor X gave you the best advice you can get. Do it and post some pics bro!

[Nate]

Omega I am in your boat right now. Not as young but share the same feelings and emotions

By the fact you have posted pictures is a huge step one beyond me also. It tells me you are ready to take charge but its natural to put up all those defences in ourselves and question what other people think (everyone is self conscious)

I think buzz it down also it will only make you feel better thats what I plan on doing however I am too chicken sh1t to do it at the moment. With your type of MPB I think the longer you have it the worse it does look. Short and neat its not going to make you feel any worse. Plus these guys shave their heads and everyone here has either gone through it or like you and me ummed and arred and questioned every single facet of how will I feel how will I look. It will make you stand out in the crowd thats for sure but thats a good thing. What you do to project yourself is up to each one of us. Worse case is grow it back (something I have to learn) that buzzing it off does not mean that you wont grow your hair back to what it would of been anyway.

I too am trying to find that acceptance stage. I am holding onto my hair and making excuses left right and center biggest ones are family reactions to finding love and the biggest one is head shape (yikes). Acceptance is the key to this whole situation and the head shaving is probably the easy part

Also there are virtual head shaving sites out there might be a good option to have a look before you leap

You can message me if you want to rant. I am probably at the forefront of hair loss remedies and snake oils and transplants and options on this forum lol

[reb123161]

You will never know how great is is to be Sly until you try it.  You can try as hard as you want to try and imagine but bro, there's nothing like being free from hair bondage! 

Shave your noggin' !

I agree with the Sgt.!!!   

[Rob-Raz]

I'm also very scared - yes scared - about shaving my hair. I'm worried about what my family will think, I'm worried about what my friends will think, I'm worried about what my colleagues will think, I'm worried about what people in the street would think and I'm definitely worried about what I will think. I'm very pale skinned and I don't want to look like some kind of weird vampire.

Man trust me.....no one but you is thinking all that much about your hair. You are the one suffering so it is time to take action. Buzz it down...then decide if you want to shave after you get used to that. You may get a mild reaction here and there from family and friends, but I am willing to bet most will be positive reactions.   Take control of this now.....don't let it control you!

[SBG Math Guy]

so any thoughts on what the bros have posted?