Need some relationship advice

[gutsygirl]

It seems like everything is going for this to happen, except the motivation. Don't expect the woman to do the work! Be the MAN! Either you want to be in a relationship with her or not, but don't string her around. Either full and ask her out for a real date or keep it platonic.


And with that said, if things don't work out, she'll at least respect you for having the courage to really ask her out.

AMEN! Dude you hit the friggin nail on the head!!!!!!!

[gutsygirl]

Our schedules didn't match up this past week but next Tuesday we're going to a BBQ place.
  I don't know if it is just me being me or if others can see my point of view on this. I am one of the few people left it seems that believes that sex should wait until after marriage. Well, I heard through the grape vine that she has lost her virginity a few years back. Is it bad that it changes me view of her? I know she hasn't gone out sleeping around but it has still altered the way I see her

Mike,
As a lady and a Christian who values sexual purity at this time in my life, I can say that if I met a man who had not waited but who had repented of this sin to God and walked away from it, I probably would be ok with it. I was not always so protective of the gift of purity in my life and it took some sinning followed by the Holy Spirit's conviction in my heart of that sin, followed by the decision either to continue the relationship with the guy OR choose to follow God's Word and accept His plans to change my heart on this matter. The result, though unintended, is that I haven't dated in 10 years. Not willing to give my body and mind and emotions in a sexual manner to a man before marriage now. 99% of men (including Christian men) don't seem to be that patient. Anyways....God changes us through even our past sins and still works in us for His glory.

Granted, and I hope I'm not being too open here..., I believe I may have some leftover baggage from that long-time-ago relationship which may come up in a marriage relationship, but I pray the man I marry (if I ever do) will be paitient and loving with me so that he will stand by me as we work it out. He will have other rough areas in his life that I will need to be patient with.

[Mike]

Our schedules didn't match up this past week but next Tuesday we're going to a BBQ place.
  I don't know if it is just me being me or if others can see my point of view on this. I am one of the few people left it seems that believes that sex should wait until after marriage. Well, I heard through the grape vine that she has lost her virginity a few years back. Is it bad that it changes me view of her? I know she hasn't gone out sleeping around but it has still altered the way I see her

Mike,
As a lady and a Christian who values sexual purity at this time in my life, I can say that if I met a man who had not waited but who had repented of this sin to God and walked away from it, I probably would be ok with it. I was not always so protective of the gift of purity in my life and it took some sinning followed by the Holy Spirit's conviction in my heart of that sin, followed by the decision either to continue the relationship with the guy OR choose to follow God's Word and accept His plans to change my heart on this matter. The result, though unintended, is that I haven't dated in 10 years. Not willing to give my body and mind and emotions in a sexual manner to a man before marriage now. 99% of men (including Christian men) don't seem to be that patient. Anyways....God changes us through even our past sins and still works in us for His glory.

Granted, and I hope I'm not being too open here..., I believe I may have some leftover baggage from that long-time-ago relationship which may come up in a marriage relationship, but I pray the man I marry (if I ever do) will be paitient and loving with me so that he will stand by me as we work it out. He will have other rough areas in his life that I will need to be patient with.

  I am the kind of person that dates for a potential spouse, I don't see any point in dating 'for fun'. She has all the things I look for, other than the one little issue. I am happy where I'm at in life right now and I still feel that I don't need anyone in my life but I feel drawn to her for some reason. My excuse before is that I never have time but she only lives 10 miles away and our paths cross often so it seems like it might work. I also believe that I don't need to go out searching for someone, the right one will be provided in time, if there is a right one. I have only ever been in 1 real relationship before. We started dating when I was 17, she lived right across the field from us, we had similar interests, same classes at school, all that fun stuff. Well, I had to work on the valentines day dance, she said she was just going to stay home but I found out that she went with a different guy anyway then lied about it when everyone else (friends/teachers/family) told me who she went with. Well, she ended up pregnant after spending some time with him. After I found out she went on a date with him at the dance, I stopped talking to her for a couple weeks, then we started talking in class and after a bit she told me she was pregnant. I told her I knew she wasn't self cloning and left her. She had an abortion part way through the pregnancy and her and I stopped talking until last year, it'll never be the same between us again and I do fear that it will happen with this girl too.

 

 I'll try to read over the rest of the posts tomorrow, just popping in before bed and saw the last post there. On my work days, I am up at 4:30 am to get chores done before work, then I work all day and don't get done with chores and everything and make it to bed before 11:30 most nights so for the most part I run on 4-5 hours a sleep per night. As I type this, I am eating dinner before finishing chores, oh the joys of being a farmer and working a retail job at the same time....