My Hair Loss Video Story:
<![CDATA[<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/OckQFO3sRKo&showsearch=0&rel=0" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/OckQFO3sRKo&showsearch=0&rel=0</a>]]>Hey guys and gals of Sly Bald Guys,
Thought I'd introduce myself as I humbly submit my request to join your ranks. Below is my somewhat lengthy story about accepting my hair loss proactively and not shying away from it, of embracing the shaved head style and moving forward with my life.
My story:
My name is Ben, and while growing up until my second/third year in college, I had one of the best heads of hair out there. Yes, while I always had a genetically high forehead, I had this fantastic mane that was always complimented at the barber as being "ridiculously thick." In high school, I was a very shy kid but my hair was blonde and long and got looks from the ladies, which I appreciated.
I invested a lot of time and energy in my hair, keeping it long "Sonny Crockett" style, but keeping it maintained.
In fact, I told my barber at 16 that I had so much hair that I would never go bald!
My father, who has a fantastic head of hair also, declared that I had his hair and would never go bald. For the record, my Dad is 54 and his hairline hasn't retreated so much as a centimeter, or lost its thickness. Lucky guy!
How IRONY plays out in your life, right? Well, irony has sort of been a theme of my young existence. Whenever I've said, "I wouldn't do that" or "That'll never happen to me!" It has. I've learned to frequently knock on wood.
My hair loss roadmap:
During my sophomore year of college, in the spring semester, I was very depressed, drinking a ton of coffee, and on high doses of Prozac to deal with depression/winter blues. In addition to that, I'd begun to notice that on one side of my head, just one temple, had receded remarkably deep, while the other remained as it always had.
I began to fret that I was going bald, telling my family, obsessing with my webcam to track its progress. At that point in college, I had been sporting the popular "faux hawk" style, which let me tell you, really didn't look good as my hairline began to recede!
The next year, I grew my hair longer to cover up my hairline, and since my hair was still markedly thick, I could mask my recent hair loss.
The next spring, I got so worried about my hairline that I decided to try using Rogaine, which I will NEVER recommend to anyone, especially if you hair is long. For starters, it makes your scalp really, really greasy, and I had horrible side-effects typically associated with Propecia and denied by the makers of Rogaine: sexual dysfunction. This was simply terrible, and insult to injury.
I also had a horrible, racing heart rate often during the day, as if I might have a heart attack!
At that point, I noticed that my thick hair was beginning to thin, so that summer, I cut my hair short, and it masked my hair loss to a certain degree.
But as I progressed into my senior year, my hair really began to thin. I would tell my friends, family, and they would claim not to notice it, or at least not notice until I pointed it out to them!
But I noticed, that was what mattered, and it was heartbreaking to watch what had one been a glorious mane reduced to rubble.
To avoid the shame of going to the barber, I bought my own haircutter and cut the hair myself, about 1 inch all around. To style it in the morning, I used a thick spiky paste. Putting the hairs up together in a faux hawk/flat top style seemed to reduce visibility of my emerging white scalp. At this point, my hairline had sort of evened out because the other temple had receeded. Sadly, that second temple also had diffuse thinning, so to keep it consistent, I had to further shave back that temple to where the hair was still thick, producing the typical M shaped hairline.
For almost a year I maintained the routine of: washing my hair with a special thickening shampoo, using a blow dryer to put my hair “up,” and the thick paste to keep it in place. All this worked to a certain degree, except when I wanted to swim or go out without a raincoat or umbrella: the effect would be ruined.
The Ultimatum:
I made a promise to myself that, when I started to develop a bald spot, or even the sight of one in the crown of my head, that I was done, and that I would shave it off. There was no freaking way I was going to be one of “those guys” who wouldn't man up, accept himself and not deny what was happening.
Well, that bald spot began to develop! Very little, thus far, but enough.
And I decided to shave it off. I am twenty-three years old, and I made the right decision!
Preparing to shave My Head:
The summer before going to college, I shaved my head, well before I had signs of hair loss.
Why? Well, a girl, now a good friend of mine, had rejected my offer for a date. I felt humilated and because I was so shy, I was really upset. Today, however, getting that tension out of the way, we're the best of buddies!
But because I was so sad, I compulsively shaved my great mane of hair.
My mother flipped out, freaked out, sqawked and made so much noise about it, and at the time, I didn't really like it, so I grew it back.
Back then, I wasn't prepared, but as I've grown older, and got used to the idea of shaving my head, I've seen it as an OPPORTUNITY rather than a disability.
This winter, I begin grad school in Boston, and I wanted to go to the city looking good with a new style and fresh look. Since I had made the pact to myself of “Bald spot, you're done,” I started to research how men with baldness sported a bald head.
My ex-girlfriend was a fashionista and painter, and well versed in color theory, and being able to match a person's eyes/skin tone to colors and clothes. It was very important to me that, if I cut my hair, that my style of clothing compliment the look.
I have and already like to work out, something that, I feel gave me something of an advantage over other balding guys who might be fat/out of shape. I might be lacking in the follicle department, but certainly not in the bicep department! (Sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone, I just think that a god bod/shaved head combo works really well!)
I discovered that certain patterns and colors like light blues, light purples, certain reds and greens looked good with the shaved head I wanted to sport (I have light skin tone, but go gold in the summer, and have grey/blue eyes).
I looked to bald celebs like Vin Diesel. Though I'm no where close as muscular as Vin by any stretch, I noticed how he liked to wear sleeveless white shirts (or wife beaters, if you want to call them that) but also V-necked shirts that emphasized his strong chest.
I tried on a few v-necks and was happy with what I saw. With the shaved head, it was a style that just looked natural. My chest was emphasized, and the V shape of the collar just looked fancy and emphasized my now bald head in a good way!
I then decided to upgrade my whole wardrobe to go with my shaved head style: new jeans, new, well fitted polos and dress shirts, and a pair of aviator sunglasses that looked more complementary on my bald skull than my old wraparounds. I also upgraded my reading/driving glasses, and I needed a new prescription anyway, so I splurged on some good, trendy frames.
Conclusion:
It's been roughly fifteen days since I've been shaving my head, and I feel great. Here's the pros and cons of my decision.
Pros:
1) Easy to maintain style in that you don't have to do up your hair.
2) No risk of rain exposing your balding scalp.
3) I look younger and feel more confident. I don't have to look in the mirror and see my hairs falling out, or my emerging scalp.
4)The bald style is “in” as it becomes more acceptable.
5) I can take more showers without having to style my hair constantly. Zero scalp irritation from hair products.
6) I can swim without feeling like everyone is looking at my balding head. When I get out of the pool or lake, I don't have to deal with wet hair for a couple of hours.
7) I'm bald already, so I have nothing to hide.
I'm an athlete and gym rat, so it is already acceptable in those circles to have a shaved head.
9) I don't get so hot in the gym during workouts. With the sweat on my shaved head, my body cools down faster.
10) Clean up is significantly easier. I spend less time in the shower.
Cons:
1) It's colder with a shaved head, have to wear a hat out more often (as it is winter)
2) More exposure to sun, have to use sunscreen.
3) Shaving my head is not something I do everyday, and it takes me, at this point, 45 minutes to do well, with multiple strokes to remove as much hair as a I can.
4) The reaction of my Mother, who for some reason I can't fathom really, really doesn't like the shaved head!
The part of my mom being so prejudiced really affects me. It's insulting to me that, after explaining to my mom entirely my reasoning for shaving my head, she still looks at me and grimaces. I'm straight, but having a discussion with my mom ahead of shaving my head I think felt almost what it must feel like to come out as gay to your parents!
The reason why I was so afraid to tell my mom was because of her reaction to me shaving my head all those years ago after being rejected by that girl.
In the last couple weeks, she's called me lumpy headed or said I look like Voldemort from Harry Potter! Not nice, Mom!
But, as I'm older and feel more confident, I've been able to dismiss what my Mom says to a certain point.
What I do know is that I FEEL better. I'm not worrying about my hairloss or how to cover it up. I'm not worrying about what women think because I am who I am, I'm not hiding anything.
I don't feel as if life is treating me “unfairly” anymore, because I've embraced what life has dealt me, and have done so with courage.
I don't feel as if I'm aging before my eyes every time I look in the mirror. I look and it's just me, there, with my shaved head. No biggie!
Thanks for reading/watching!
Last question: I've looked on this site for some time, and can't figure out the "sly" label. Does someone want to fill me in on the origin of that? Sorry for the newbie question!
-ben
