Weird Thoughts

[SAUCY SAUCE]

I have always been an over thinker. Ever since i started loosing my hair (16) im 21 now, I have been trying to figure out what the female equivalent to balding is, im always trying to figure out, does bald guy=obese girl, does bald guy=big nose, wrinkles, cellulite etc....

I guess i do this because im trying to put myself in a womans shoes and see if I would date a bald guy if i were a 21 yr old female. I dont consider myself to be a shallow person. Whenever i see a girl i usually look for her best feature, whether it be her eyes, smile, body, hair...etc, and even if the girl has noticeable flaws (a little overwieght, big teeth, crooked teeth...etc) i try and find the best in her. this really has bothered me over the years, because whenever i see a girl that im attracted to, i alawys think in my head "there is a BIG chance this girl is going to be turned off because im bald"...or "i hope she has a major flaw too so she will accept me". o yeah this a big one too. "if i had hair i would go talk to her".

I know this post sounds really superficial and shallow but its what gos through my head a lot. My confidence is really low, especially with girls, ive only had 1 girlfriend my whole life and that was before i started loosing my hair. I spend most of my days THINKING what ifs, and if onlys...and i would really like to actually have a relationship with a girl, even a friendship....the only female friends i have are either family, or they are in relationships  and since most bald guys are in their 30s or 40s it makes me feel that a girl would be emberassed to date a bald 21 yr old.

geeeeeeeez this post is depressing, i need some confidence!

[Beardman]

Hey mate, don't worry. I've got a little story to share with you.

I'm 25, almost 26 now. I started going bald when I was like 13-14 years old and in my university years I stopped exercising and started eating lots of junk and put on like like 50 kgs (110lbs). I had no self-esteem when it came to girls. Don't get me wrong, I could talk to them and have always had a couple of female friends, but I could never bring myself to ask one out, because I always thought "why would they want to date a 20+ year old that looks like he is a fat middle ages guy". Over the past 12 month's I've put a lot of effort in, shed all the weight I put on in my early adult life, and have gone sly. I am looking and feeling so much better.

AND... For the past couple of weeks I've been chatting with this attractive metal/goth chick (I am a metalhead myself) and it looks like next Saturday I might have myself my first ever date! I am not going to lie, I am still amazed that she would want to go out with me, I think to myself, she is only 19, and wants to go out with an almost 26 year old bald guy. But it just goes to show that it doesn't matter how old you are or how you look... bald or hairy! It's all about how you present yourself.

Just keep your chin up mate, you will find someone for you, there are plenty of fish out there and you will find the right one for you. It will take you some time to get used to the new look, so stick to the 30 day rule hopefully when you come out the other side feeling much more confident in your own skin and ready to snag yourself a keeper 

[waine]

Saucy, do not ever try to work out what a woman is thinking.  It is impossible to fathom.  Just be yourself, be bald, be happy, be confident (even if you are not, act like you are) and let a potential relationship flourish.

[Paul the Headblader]

bald is not a bad-ass look, but women see it that way. they like it. you know women, they like you to beg them. and it's not about being bald or no, it depends on what kind of person you are.

[SAUCY SAUCE]

i thought i was the only one to go bald in my teens, your story gives me inspiration to stop living in my head and start going out and meeting girls. I think a lot of the times I reject myself before i even ask a girl out, and my cousin always tells me that if i dont buy a lottery ticket i will never win the lottery, and its true because i want a girlfriend badly but i DONT even talk to them!. but anyways thats awesome that your going on a date with a goth chick, ive always thought goth chicks were hot!

[Beardman]

ive always thought goth chicks were hot!

I hear ya man!

If you take a look around the site you will find there are a lot of us that balded really young, and are in our 20's dealing with the same things you are. Now that you are sly, don't think of it as a handicap, think of it as a new chapter of your life.

I think that Waine has given you some very sound advice, I am a strong believer of the motto "fake it, 'till you make it" and trust me, after you catch your new sly look in the mirror a few times your confidence will start to grow, and before long you will be out their strutting your stuff. And I hear that Paul is quite the lady killer in his neck of the woods so he is speaking from experience here, lots women out there are quite drawn to the sly look!


But make sure you get out there and start talking to the fairer sex, you aren't going to find a girl just by watching her from a distance... lol.

[Mikekoz13]

Saucy-

Part of the problem with your thought process is that you look at your baldness as a "flaw". Dude really!!??! Anyone can have hair aand walk tall but you have to be confident to rock that SLY look.

Stop looking at your baldness as a "flaw" and look at it as a benefit.

Every single thing you mentioned that you look at in a woman is a superficial thing..... not once did you mention finding out about her likes, dislikes, what makes her tick, etc.
Maybe a little change of perspective is needed?

[leighmundo40]

Hi!

I work in an office full of women, and let me tell you they obsess over EVERYTHING! weight, skin, getting older, gey hair, boobs, clothes, if people like them, relationships..you name it!

The one thing that they do agree on is that guys who crop/shave their hair are FAR more attractive than those who try to disguise it with a comb over!

[Slyfive]

What you should hope for is that you will learn to look at what a woman is inside, and see that beauty, and that she will look at you and see the great guy that you are behind all that self doubt. Forrest Gump said "life is like a box of chocolates", and so are people, you'll never get to experience what they have to offer unless you learn how to get beneath the wrapper.

[Andrei]

ok, I shave my head.  IMO the equivalent for a woman is a good hairstyle, for you it is a flaw.
It's just a difference of opinion.

When you see a woman, how much do you care if she has the latest hairstyle (even if the style does not suit her)? Does that really matter?
I think it's more important that everything fits together.

Same goes for us men, too.
Just a good haircut won't get you a date; and hey, you already have a great hair style (no irony here), all you need is to stop over analyzing and just approach the lady, ask her out.

[baldjoeg]

Well said guys. Thanks for the comments.

 

[SAUCY SAUCE]

you guys are great, every one of your comments boosted my confidence and my outlook on life. btw tonight i shaved my head against the grain for the first time (cut myself a little) and went out thinking my friends (that hadn't seen me completely bald) and people around were going to comment on it, but no one said anything...i don't know if that is good or bad? haha

[Beardman]

That's good man! It means that they accept you for who you are, you will find a lot of people wont comment on it at all.

[Hingatao]

Beardman is right. If they didn't comment it means they don't that you're bald. The people who matter the most won't care. Or they'll like it!

[Slynito]

You got lots of good advice and comments...I liked what Andrei said, "...a good haircut won't get you a date...". Just be friendly, confident and comfortable with yourself and do your magic. G'luck!