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it's on my mind by thinkingaboutit on 11 Nov, 2012 05:39
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Hi everyone,
I just signed up yesterday. I spent about an hour reading the forum, especially in the To Be or Not to Be section, weighing whether shaving it all off is the right move for me. I am in my late 20s and have had follicular issues since I was about 18. I never realized it was a problem (I must have been delusional or dumb) until I switched barbers several years ago and my new one cut a combover. I've had it since, although there's less and less to comb.
It looks fine in the morning in the light of the bathroom but I've seen myself in the light and there's a big old horseshoe underneath it all. I am a teacher so I am on the floor a lot which means plenty of people stand over me and have their own view. Needless to say this really impacts my confidence. I have noticed people's eyes darting up to my head and that is so irritating.
Going bald would be a major change for me, obviously. I've lost about 30 pounds since the summer, and that change has been gradual but exceptionally well-received. I hope the same would be true about the baldness (minus the gradual part). One problem I have, though, is that when I was a baby, I developed a large birthmark on my forehead. Eventually it lost its color and receded under my hair - but it reemerged once the hair up there went away. Now it's just a soft spot on the top of my forehead. Not sure if it'd be more or less visible minus hair - I know that I spend some time each morning trying to "cover it up" - but with what? I also suspect that's what people steal glances at when they're supposed to be looking me in the eye.
Any thoughts? I feel like I should go for it but worry about initial reactions from family, friends, co-workers. I also worry that I'm not the kind of guy who can pull it off!
Please respond!
TAI -
#1 by balddaniel on 11 Nov, 2012 05:49
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You need to post a pic
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#2 by mrzed on 11 Nov, 2012 05:51
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Cold turkey.
Get the clippers and razor out and solve the combover once and for all.
When i shaved my head, family said, you look like a professor. A bald teacher is an excellent look.
From your comments , it's time to do this now. It's a good look.
And full of confidence.
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#3 by Mr Jules on 11 Nov, 2012 06:34
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I feel like I should go for it but worry about initial reactions from family, friends, co-workers.
Go for it, if only satisfy your curiosity.
You'll be pleasantly surprised by the comments from those around you. They'll either admire you for taken the plunge, or tell you that your new look suits you or just as likely say nothing at all.
Give it a try !
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#4 by Andrei on 11 Nov, 2012 10:35
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Welcome!
By the time you've finished shaving your hair and have looked into the mirror you'll know it was the right call.
You won't need any compliments, though they are welcomed, because you'll know it was the right thing to do.
TAI you will feel better (generally speaking) and this will have a positive impact on your work too.
Also, if you're thinking about it, then just go ahead and experiment.
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#5 by theman on 11 Nov, 2012 15:54
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You need to post a pic
Ditto ! TAI ! -
#6 by Frontier Guy on 11 Nov, 2012 16:40
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Hi everyone,
I just signed up yesterday. I spent about an hour reading the forum, especially in the To Be or Not to Be section, weighing whether shaving it all off is the right move for me. I am in my late 20s and have had follicular issues since I was about 18. I never realized it was a problem (I must have been delusional or dumb) until I switched barbers several years ago and my new one cut a combover. I've had it since, although there's less and less to comb. It looks fine in the morning in the light of the bathroom but I've seen myself in the light and there's a big old horseshoe underneath it all. I am a teacher so I am on the floor a lot which means plenty of people stand over me and have their own view. Needless to say this really impacts my confidence. I have noticed people's eyes darting up to my head and that is so irritating.
Going bald would be a major change for me, obviously. I've lost about 30 pounds since the summer, and that change has been gradual but exceptionally well-received. I hope the same would be true about the baldness (minus the gradual part). One problem I have, though, is that when I was a baby, I developed a large birthmark on my forehead. Eventually it lost its color and receded under my hair - but it reemerged once the hair up there went away. Now it's just a soft spot on the top of my forehead. Not sure if it'd be more or less visible minus hair - I know that I spend some time each morning trying to "cover it up" - but with what? I also suspect that's what people steal glances at when they're supposed to be looking me in the eye.
Any thoughts? I feel like I should go for it but worry about initial reactions from family, friends, co-workers. I also worry that I'm not the kind of guy who can pull it off!
Please respond!
TAI
TAI, welcome - first of all.
Even without seeing you, I know you can wear the Sly look just fine. Haven't met a guy yet where I thought - "Wow, he really should have hair."
You've got a really easy answer when people ask "why" ... and that's just that this is further "redefinition" of yourself, which started with the weight loss (congratulations on that). Quite similarly, I lost about 40 pounds over about 9 months and then shaved my head. It all seemed like it was part of "my plan" ... although it wasn't all that well thought out. But this provides you with a very believable cover story IF you need one.
Regarding the birthmark ... it is what it is, which I know is much easier for me to say than perhaps it is to live with. But in the past and present I've worked with people with major port wine stains. The first time I met them I was a bit surprised, but like everything - it's just part of them and I don't even notice it now. It's just one more thing which makes you unique - and I mean that in a good way.
Lastly ... like mrzed wrote above, just do it cold turkey. You will experience a lot of things between thinking about it and the first swipe of the blade - like anxiety, doubt, excitement, concern.
But as soon as you make the first pass you will be overcome with relief of no longer having to worry about combovers and unflattering lighting and wind and kids' thoughts/actions/words.
In other words ... you can simply be yourself. Relaxed. Confident. Good-looking. Comfortable. You.
On the other hand ... what's the alternative ... continue the angst about hair until Nature decides to take further action?
After all, it is "only" a haircut. -
#7 by F77Scot on 11 Nov, 2012 16:49
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I would listen to those wise words from the sage that is FG, he really helped me realise that I was doing this for me and no one else. If you feel it is the right decision for you go for it. Let us know how you get on.
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#8 by thinkingaboutit on 11 Nov, 2012 20:09
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Thanks for all these great words of wisdom. I went to the barber early this morning and he was totally skeptical when I told him to shave it off with a 1 guard. He didn't want to do it but I was committed and told him to. He said he'll do a small area first and then let me decide. He did a bit and I said - Just keep going!
By the time I was finished I was thrilled. It is true, I had so many thoughts and apprehensions leading up but once it started coming off it felt right. Even the barber had to admit it looked good.
The birthmark is hardly noticeable even to me, but if it is apparent, I don't even care anymore. So true what everyone says about being able to forget about all these insecurities and just say "Screw them, they're gone."
I am so close to a complete sly look that I ordered a pair of clippers that should arrive Tuesday. This weekend I plan to go the distance and see how it looks. I went this far, I might as well just to see.
Oh, by the way - rave reviews from everyone so far! But it's true, guys - this is something one does for himself, not for others. Thanks again for the support. I wish I did it 5 years ago!! -
#9 by Frontier Guy on 11 Nov, 2012 20:25
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That's terrific.
And I don't think this is necessary, but commit to maintaining the look for 30 days. That gives you and everyone around you time to adjust to the "new and improved" you. And it integrates the trimming/shaving routine into your daily regimen.
Personally, I think you're going to shave down to the skin and you'll never look back. The feeling each morning when you shave and have a scalp which is BBS ("baby butt smooth") is absolutely redefining. It's one of the few things that us guys do for ourselves.
I'm really delighted you took the initiative and "just did it."
You're going to have great experiences in the days ahead. Please post about them here so we can share in the joy. And if there's a negative comment or two, it's probably from someone who is just a wee bit envious that you have what it takes!
Well done. -
#10 by Andrei on 11 Nov, 2012 23:28
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TAI, sounds good, congratulation for the step that you have made.
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#11 by Beardman on 11 Nov, 2012 23:51
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Welcome to the family mate and congratulations on taking the first step! I'm glad you are already liking it, and getting prepared for going all the way, I can't wait to see a picture of the finished product
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#12 by mrzed on 12 Nov, 2012 03:59
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. Oh, by the way - rave reviews from everyone so far! But it's true, guys - this is something one does for himself, not for others. Thanks again for the support. I wish I did it 5 years ago!!
Here you go, guys. Another ... should have done it sooner! Comment!
Now, you know how satisfying the #1 clipped cut was, the full shave is even more. Then post a photo