i feel so stupid for putting this on SBG of all places. but it has already been two weeks since my fiancee and i have broke up. and like at first iwas just ok thinking of but instead of doing what most of my break ups have done by getting better with time, this is just getting more and more painfull everyday. idk what to do. my head sayd move on but my heart tells me "you were engaged, you were supposed to marry her in a month. get her back". my firends who have known me for a long time are getting worried because useaully i can move on with in 3-5 days and i'm back in the swing of things. and everywhere i go there is a memory of us. i just dont knoow what to do.
Oops, I must have missed the memo that mandated a proper length of time for grief.
From the phrasing of your post I assume that you broke it off. Correct me if I'm wrong. If she broke it off the decision is out of your hands so I won't deal with that.
If my assumption is correct I'm sure that some guys in here as well as in the rest of the world will tell you that this is just a case of cold feet and that you should go back and attempt to undue the damage. I can't discount the cold feet scenario, I've seen it happen too many times to believe that it never happens.
However.....
If you broke up with her I make another assumption that there were some red flags that you just couldn't get past. Maybe it was something concrete like infidelity or thievery or maybe she was an insufferable bitch. I'm not saying that any of those are THE case. Since you didn't go into great detail about the breakup I'm just kinda thinking out loud.
Sometimes red flags are not so obvious. There may have been things that, try as you may, you just can't explain but were disturbing to you on a level that you don't fully understand. This does not negate their validity.
Don't second guess yourself too much. Like I said, I'm assuming that you broke up with her and if that was the case there was a reason for it. Maybe sit down with a couple of your trusted friends and talk this thing out. Don't do it over beers, it will become unproductive. Drink coffee instead. And be honest. And don't fear your emotions, that's where you'll find the answer.
There are two questions that every man must ask himself:
1) Where am I going. and
2) Who is going with me.
And God help you if you ask them in the wrong order.
I'll just tag on here ... I truly believe (and 50+ years of living have proved it over and over) that all things happen for a reason, and it is for the best even if we can't see that while in the thick of it.
This will pass, you will be stronger, and you will have greater clarity about your inner self and your direction.
This has been a very short interval since the breakup, and having been engaged it may take longer than recovery from previous relationships. Don't be so hard on yourself.
The right opportunities, in all things, will present themselves at the right times. Which may include a better special someone.
she actually broke it off, so yeah i'm kinda screwed.
Not to sound Dr. Philish here...but as a guy whose second (technically third) marriage ended two months ago...there are going to be painful moments...such as "What did I do wrong?", "Could I have done this differently?", etc. etc. There is no overnight fix from moving on from a failed relationship/marriage especially when the other person breaks it off....You seem like a pretty cool dude (I'm assuming under 25 years old), but healing from a broken heart is not something that happens in a day, a week, a month or even a year...I have my days when I miss my ex like when I burn something while cooking
, or when I have to wash my own clothes..I also have my days when I get angry at her when I hear hurtful statements similar to the ones she told me, or when I think about how she decided to leave me after coming off of a yearlong deployment or when she has the nerve to call me to ask for money or something(my response to her more often than not is simply "when our marriage ended so did your spousal benefits")..You say that SBG of all places was not a good place to share, but this group is a big reason why I've healed pretty well from a somewhat broken heart(thanks fellow SBG's)...not to say it was all her fault, I did my fair share of wrongdoing too...but sometimes the best thing to do is an activity (sometimes with a friend) to get your mind off of her (preferably one that she didn't like). If I'm not mistaken, I responded to another post of yours regarding this situation. Two of the biggest things to remember...spend your time promoting your good qualities, not promoting her bad ones...bashing your ex will never get you another woman nor will it help you keep a new woman when you find one. No one likes to hear sob stories over and over about past lovers...Also you have to eventually forgive her, because if you hold a grudge, she wins. Period.(In short don't let someone who's no longer a part of your life control your life!) In a way you should be thankful this happened BEFORE you married her, a divorce is much, much messier than a broken engagement...(I actually got off easier than most all three times I went to divorce/annullment court).Sorry for the long response, but it looks like you need a little help from some friends, and if you want to talk about this further offline feel free to PM me. Good luck and God Bless! Stay Strong!