Confidence and Success > How to Build Confidence
The acceptance process
IllinoisBaldy:
Welcome Pete
marty22:
welcome Peteman!
RoWilJr:
Welcome to SBG Peteman!
peteman9:
Thanks everyone for their replies! It feels good to be in a bald world. Things are so crazy in the mixed world where everyone has different hair styles! It's funny how at first, as with race, people have a generalized view of that group of people (like they all look pretty much the same), but then later realize that within that group there are so many other distinguishing features other than the obvious. I always feel that people look at us and their first impression is that we are bald. Then after that, they can see our other features, both physical and personality-wise.
My phase in the acceptance process, I guess, is that baldness is at the forefront of my mind and I'm overthinking everything! I now notice more and more bald guys in my day-to-day life, but I'm also just thinking more and more about how other people are seeing me. Is being a bald guy their first impression of me? If it is than what do they think about it and how does that effect how they will talk to me? How does it effect how I talk to other people? When does the time come when I can forget about how I look and just accept that for the rest of my life I'm gonna wear the same hair style and have a very distinguishing physical feature that stands out in a crowd of people?
Oracle:
Peteman, you're going to be alright! You just need to work on your confidence a little. A shaved head head is just another "hair" style so you don't need to worry about standing out because of it. Actually, you would stand a bigger chance of standing out in a crowd if you were a young man sporting a comb-over or a horseshoe.
I knew from a very young age that I'd lose my hair. I prayed that it wouldn't happen until I turned gray. Be careful what you wish for because I turned gray very young and my hair thinned rapidly. I swore that I would not go the comb-over route so I wore ball caps everywhere 24/7 (practically) for many years. Many of my closest friends had never seen me without a cap on my head.
Last year, while on vacation, I just decided that I had had enough! I had been reading these boards for a couple of years, yes that's right, a couple of years and I excused myself, went into the bathroom, took out my clippers and peeled what little hair I had left off of my head. I then jumped in the shower and proceeded to shaved my head slick. Nobody knew what I was doing! Not even my wife and daughter. Guess what? Everybody thought that it suited me! I will soon celebrate my first year anniversary of being Sly and the only thing I miss about going to the barber shop is the banter going on while waiting for your turn.
I disagree with your comment about bald men learning to face losses earlier and dealing with the aging process better than our counterparts since we have already been through a part of it. MPB does not mean that we have aged any faster than a person with a full head of hair. I have my 52nd birthday coming in about 8 days and though my sight isn't wh it used to be and I have a myriad of other ailments including a chronic illness, I still feel like that 25 year-old dragging in at 4:00 AM every weekend morning.
Jim
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