UUUGH WHY ME!?!?

[TheSlyBear]

What utter crap. As pointed out in your other post, you are blaming all of your ills on your hair loss. That's really convenient as you can just give up and not have to do anything to better yourself or your life. I hope you can overcome your defeatist attitude, but please don't try to convince others to just give up. Please seek the help that you need.

[aarrggh]

 She won`t even notice your head once you say , Hi ! " My name is beanerdawg " . .  
 
                      

[JasonR]

Women want a confident man who is sure in himself. Most don't care much about looks (as long as you are well groomed). Stop wondering what she thinks, and do what you think is right for yourself. Don't ask her opinion; don't ask her what she thinks. Do you what YOU want, and don't make excuses.

At some point, when you are closer, you may feel compelled to tell her you shave your head because of MPB. These conversations are better held with close friends and/or a close spouse or girlfriend.

Carry your head high, smile, and appear confident. Fake it until you make it. Who cares what ONE woman thinks of you? There are hundreds of millions of women in the world, and hundreds of thousands near you.

Good luck...and post pictures of yourself if you can. Before and afters are great.

[The Baron]

What utter crap. As pointed out in your other post, you are blaming all of your ills on your hair loss. That's really convenient as you can just give up and not have to do anything to better yourself or your life. I hope you can overcome your defeatist attitude, but please don't try to convince others to just give up. Please seek the help that you need.

It should also be pointed out that it was convenient for that woman to lose interest in me after viewing my photo. But who's keeping score?  I can tell you for certain that it was my baldness that caused her to lose interest. She really liked me. She told me so. She still does. We are still friends. She likes me as a friend. She just finds me physically repulsive. That's why it will never go beyond friendship. She is not the only woman who thinks that way. Most women are like that even if they don't admit to it. Facts are facts. Hair matters to most women. I'm speaking from experience. 

[Sir Harry]

Dude....That may be true that there are women that find baldness repulsive....and too bad it's their loss; they may be missing out on good men who just happen to be lacking in the hair department. Let's look at the other side of the coin. Let's say there's a forum called "Sly Fat Gals". There may be women on that forum who, for whatever reason, can't get to that "Size 2" or that 36-24-36 that so many men want....but they still find men who love them for them and they feel good about themselves. I have walked the aisle three times (first marriage annulled) all with plus-sized women. I married them because of what I thought was in their heart, not because of their figure...and they married me for the same reason, not because of what was on my head at the time. I know you're going to say "Yeah, but your marriages didn't last". True, but my wives have never had an issue with my baldness, in fact my second wife has shaved my head a few times when I got lazy. This last wife who I divorced in March, we split up not because of my baldness, but let's just say we both had some stuff that's too far to get into on this forum. That said, I am now dating a very nice 32 year old lady who happens to have short hair by choice. She enjoys my company and she has even said that bald men (partial or complete) attract her because her father is bald, but she loved his confidence. The right woman is there for you, but it's up to you to present yourself in a positive light. Don't let a few shallow women or hair deter you from finding what's out there....and by the way this post, in a way is for both Beanerdawg and Baron (inadveretently). Lastly, not to be blunt here, but with an attitude like that I can see why women avoid you two. Women want a man who feels good and confident about himself regardless of what outsiders think of him, and the both of you need to find a way to do that somehow....keeping you both in my prayers and wishing you both the best, but I have a head to shave. Peace!

[mahaw90]

I understand your situation all too well my friend. I was in a similar situation about five years ago. I met a nice woman in a myspace chat room. I made her laugh with a few jokes. She invited me to chat privately a few minutes later. After chatting in private for a few minutes we exchanged phone numbers. She told me that she was going to call me  right away. Sure enough, less than a minute later the phone rang. It was her and we talked for well over two hours. She was a very kind and sweet woman. We had a very pleasant conversation. I established a good rapport with her. She told me that I was very intelligent and had a great personality. I felt the same way about her and told her so.

She called me almost everyday during the following week. We spoke at length each time she called. The calls lasted an hour or two. We talked about everything from politics to sex. Yes, I even managed to get her to talk about sex. I was able to earn her trust. She felt relaxed and at ease when she spoke to me. She also told me that I had a soothing voice and how she loved to hear me speak. She even talked about coming to visit me. Yes, everything seemed to be going well. That is until she asked me to email her a photo of myself. I had already told her that I was bald. She told me that it did not matter to her. That all seemed to change after I sent her a photo. She called me the next day to tell me that she was no longer interested in me. She gave me the "let's just be friends" talk. I thanked her for giving me a chance, even though she really didn't. I also wished her well. I don't harbor any anger or bad feelings toward her. You can't make someone fall in love with you. It either happens or it doesn't. I will tell you this, it really hurt. Not just my pride, but also my heart.  

The moral of the story is simple. Women do care about hair, even if they tell you otherwise. We all know that women never say what they really mean. They speak using a coded language that only other women can understand. From my perspective you have two options. Save up some money for prostitutes or prepare for a life of celibacy.  

Good luck my friend. You are going to need it.  

In all fairness how do you know it was the baldness? It could of been a number of things about your photo. I.e you just wasn't her type, physically.

[Slyfive]

Baron, if you think you know 'most' women, and what they are thinking, then you truly are deluding yourself, if any one of us truly knew, I'm sure that person would be very rich right now. The view that you see if what you are projecting on to them, if you see a bald ugly dude, then no matter how good a person she is, or how much she may actually like you, it'll be hard for her to see past your gigantic screen of insecurity.

I agree with Mahaw, how do you know it was the baldness? Because it bothers you so much, you ASSUME, that the baldness was her reason, what if she just wasn't into you, if she's not feeling it then she's not feeling it, you can't manufacture physical attraction.

If anything, the overwhelming reports from guys here on the site, have been that, female attraction and interest have increased, so take a long hard look in the mirror, stop lying to yourself, and please try and work out what is truly holding you back. We all want the best for you, but it is clear by the way you are talking, that you are unwilling to give reality a chance, just try living outside that beautifully bald head of yours for a while for a while.

[TheSlyBear]

I suspect it wasn't the baldness -- unless he has a combover, which is always repulsive -- but the "woe is me" look on the face.

[tomgallagher]

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and we just co-exist here on Earth. Never ever think that you have them figured out.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Facts are facts. Hair matters to most women. I'm speaking from experience. 

That's a pretty hard sell for 99% of the guys who are sly and are sly to handle mpb--never found it to be true.  If all they're interested in is your hair, chase someone other than a hairdresser!

[JasonR]

Facts are facts. Hair matters to most women. I'm speaking from experience.  

That's a pretty hard sell for 99% of the guys who are sly and are sly to handle mpb--never found it to be true.  If all they're interested in is your hair, chase someone other than a hairdresser!

Agreed. Look at all the bald men at this world. Then look at the women they are with. I see plenty of attractive women with bald men all the time. It is about your CONFIDENCE. Women care about personality above all else.

Baron, most of us can relate as to what you are going through. But having hair or being bald does not attract a woman on its own, and I don't believe hair or lack of matters to most women. What does matter is your confidence/self esteem, personality, and being well groomed. Being well groomed means if you have hair, having a nice hair cut and styling. If you don't have hair shaving it (or whatever works for you), shaving your face, etc. Being well groomed means looking the best you can look with what you've got.

And always remember, not every woman will be attracted to you no matter how you look or if you have hair. Just as some men are attracted to a certain woman and and aren't attracted to others; the same applies to men.

Why don't you post a pic of yourself...hopefully before and after you shaved and let us be the judge. If your'e losing your hair, I bet you will look better bald. To the OP and Baron: what you think of yourself matters above all else of what others think of you. If you think and act like you are attractive, you will be attractive to women. And also remember you cannot win them all, some women will like you and some women won't. It's the way of the world. Men who are incredibly successful with women face a lot of rejection. I have had my fair share of rejection. You know what? Once you've been rejected a 100 times the next 100 don't really matter. And, lastly, women reject men for all sorts of reasons, but women normally reject men because of a reason not related to the man (she might be in a relationship, seeing someone, married, in a bad mood, etc.). I highly recommend picking up a book or two on confidnece and dating/relationships.

This girl I'm dating told me that I would look weird WITH HAIR because I've been bald for so long. She doesn't want me to grow it out. And she's incredibly attractive. And I'm not the best looking guy in the neighborhood. So how's that for a no-hair experience?

[Bluebriz]

Baron, I'm not celibate or paying for prostitutes, instead i'm married to a wonderful, caring, funny, beautiful woman.  She seems to be looking past my bald head because I don't let the bald head define me.  I am not just a bald head, but so much more.   Based on your posts here, I suspect you let your bald head define you.  It doesn't have to be that way.

I only hope the OP doesn't fall into the same trap of self-pity that you have.

[waine]

Thank heavens I am not looking for a mate as a married man.  However, if I were single again, and I met a lady, the first thing that she must accept is my bald head, as much as she must accept the many other flaws in my physical appearance.  I would have no issues being bald and trying to court a woman as "this is me and this is the package you get!"  Like it or leave it!

Its so true, if you feel good about yourself and you are confident, this shines through to woman.  We must start to "feel good" even with the cards that we were dealt with in life.

[beanerdawg]

Interesting to see my post get a lot of attention these past few days.

Things didn't work out between us. (Hair had nothing to do with it.)

That said, I started an online dating profile and am having 0 luck. It's kind of disheartening. Especially when I'm sending out emails to girls that physically aren't my type, but sound really cool and I'm still not getting any sort of responses. I have literally sent out 40 emails and have only heard back from 1 person. 

[JasonR]

Got a link to your online profile, and copy of the emails you're sending them?

I strongly suggest reading several dating books (and confidence books) if you can. With the dating thing, don't take everything they say as a rule, but they are very good at teaching begginers the ropes.

Neil strauss is short, bald, and marginally ugly (his words, lol) and great with women. Pick up a book called the Game and start reading...