Author Topic: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?  (Read 48112 times)

Offline Razor X

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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #15 on: April 15, 2012, 10:22:23 PM »
npsbg, I think I see the problem.  Looking at your avatar (I assume that is you), I notice you are wearing sunglasses, so I suspect that your eyes are sensitive to light.  This means that you probably have spent many years squinting in bright-light conditions, and have developed permanent ridges in your forehead between, and just above, your eyes, giving the impression that you are constantly scowling.  If you compare your picture to those of others in this thread, you will see that they do not have those ridges.  Combine that with a mouth whose corners naturally turn downward, and a somewhat rugged look to the skull area in general, and you have a person who looks quite intimidating.  >:(   

Is that supposed to make him feel better?   ??? ???

A lot of people wear sunglasses; I think it's a huge leap to assume that just because someone does, that he has ridges in his forehead that create the illusion of a permascowl.  If that were the case, he'd have had this problem long before he shaved his head.  If  you re-read the original question, you'll see that he specifically says that this reaction from others started at the time he went sly.

I think the intimidation factor has a lot to do with one's physical build.  A big muscle-bound guy with a bald head might look intimidating to certain people, while those same people probably wouldn't find a smaller, skinny guy with a bald head to be intimidating at all.  Clothing can also make a huge difference; a sly guy wearing a T-shirt and jeans might look "thuggish" to some people, but put that same guy in a suit and he'll probably be perceived in an entirely different way.

Offline Slyfive

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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #16 on: April 15, 2012, 11:54:41 PM »
npsbg, I think I see the problem.  Looking at your avatar (I assume that is you), I notice you are wearing sunglasses, so I suspect that your eyes are sensitive to light.  This means that you probably have spent many years squinting in bright-light conditions, and have developed permanent ridges in your forehead between, and just above, your eyes, giving the impression that you are constantly scowling.  If you compare your picture to those of others in this thread, you will see that they do not have those ridges.  Combine that with a mouth whose corners naturally turn downward, and a somewhat rugged look to the skull area in general, and you have a person who looks quite intimidating.  >:(   

Is that supposed to make him feel better?   ??? ???

A lot of people wear sunglasses; I think it's a huge leap to assume that just because someone does, that he has ridges in his forehead that create the illusion of a permascowl.  If that were the case, he'd have had this problem long before he shaved his head.  If  you re-read the original question, you'll see that he specifically says that this reaction from others started at the time he went sly.

I think the intimidation factor has a lot to do with one's physical build.  A big muscle-bound guy with a bald head might look intimidating to certain people, while those same people probably wouldn't find a smaller, skinny guy with a bald head to be intimidating at all.  Clothing can also make a huge difference; a sly guy wearing a T-shirt and jeans might look "thuggish" to some people, but put that same guy in a suit and he'll probably be perceived in an entirely different way.

I didn't want to say anything, but you hit the nail on the head Razor.

Offline Baldstu

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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #17 on: April 16, 2012, 02:03:50 AM »
Razor is right about physique and clothing , plus tats may also look intimidating . I find it very attractive , and i am sure adopting the right attitude avoiding eye contact with some folk can be protective when walking around places like Marzahn , Berlin or Whitehawk Brighton at1200 midnight .

Offline Laser Man

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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #18 on: April 16, 2012, 08:04:06 PM »
Slyfive and Razor X - thanks for your posts.  I took no offense to the original one from Calbito.  Indeed, I have lines on my forehead - as did my dad and as do my two brothers.  I think of them as marks of distinction!  :)

Offline Slyfive

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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #19 on: April 16, 2012, 08:35:55 PM »
I think of them as marks of distinction!  :)

They prove you're doing lots of thinking! Smart head inside and out.

And in response to your comment baldchav, the tats do intimidate some people, but I have gotten more reactions due to the head than I did with tats before I shaved, I think it's because baldness is eye level.

Offline Laser Man

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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #20 on: April 16, 2012, 08:50:06 PM »
I think of them as marks of distinction!  :)

They prove you're doing lots of thinking! Smart head inside and out.


Thanks!  :)

Offline calbito

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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #21 on: April 20, 2012, 09:01:57 AM »
I almost retracted that post I made, thinking that it might have sounded too harsh, but like I said, I have the same problem, and it took someone else to point it out to me.  So when I saw his avatar, the issue just jumped out at me.  The guy was asking for help, I saw what might be the issue, and so I wanted to try and help, even if the truth was unpleasant, rather than just sugar-coat things and say "oh no, you look wonderful, can't see any problem".  In retrospect, a PM probably would have been the better approach.  Oh, well, live and learn.

Offline Laser Man

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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #22 on: April 20, 2012, 11:06:55 AM »
No need to apologize - no offense taken!   :)

Offline waine

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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #23 on: June 05, 2012, 07:12:50 AM »
NPSBG, No, I have never got that reaction.  I echo what others have said, it's all about the build and the way we "carry" ourselves.  I know what you mean by "intimidating", bald and a goatee, plus a stocky build can project that type of image, which may easily be broken when the person gets to know you.

If I had to judge your personality only on your profile pic without even having read your post, I would say that you look like a guy who does not take any crap from anyone.  So yes, the perception can be there.
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Offline Bluebriz

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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #24 on: June 19, 2012, 12:04:40 AM »
When I lived in the UK it was never an issue, but now I live in a small, conservative city in Japan.  There are not so many foreigners here, although I know 2 other sly guys.

Sometimes here older people, especially old ladies, will have looks of horror on their faces when they see me, almost to the level of disgust.  My wife gets very angry about it sometimes, but I don't see how that will help.  They're old, set in their ways, and even smiling as I would do naturally wouldn't fix things with them.    A lot of older Japanese don't even believe foreigners should be allowed to live here.  My smiling and being polite to them on the street isn't going to change that, but if anyone takes the time to have a proper conversation with me, they'll quickly see that their misgivings and preconceptions couldn't be more wide of the mark.

Offline Hingatao

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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #25 on: June 30, 2012, 05:41:31 PM »
I haven't experienced it myself yet but I sort of expect to.
Hair is over rated.

Offline Hingatao

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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #26 on: August 15, 2012, 04:12:53 PM »
I haven't experienced it myself yet but I sort of expect to.

I've started to see it over about the past 10 days. It's kinda strange because I hadn't noticed it for my first couple of months being sly. But, since I've been back from vacation I've noticed some of my ship's new crew members giving me the "look" as I walk by. What seems particularly weird about it is that it's come from the guys. The women don't seem to give a rats a**.
Hair is over rated.

Offline baldOUfan

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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #27 on: August 15, 2012, 05:31:25 PM »
Yes I do lot of folks avoid me kinda funny tho as im in a wheel chair, not like I could beat you or anything. I do not smile and frown if I'm thinking plus I squint in the sun. I cant read minds it might be the chair and fear I would run them over oh well.

Offline Frontier Guy

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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #28 on: August 15, 2012, 06:48:11 PM »
baldOUfan ... looks very natural and approachable in your photo. Doesn't sound like people's occasional wariness bothers you, and it shouldn't.
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Re: Have you noticed people being wary / cautious of you as a sly guy?
« Reply #29 on: August 15, 2012, 08:50:45 PM »
Occasionally I get the strange looks, but for the most part most seem accepting to the BBC look. TSA, loves to check me over more than necessary, imho. Taking up time on a bald, fat old man, I mean really?

  O:O