Contemplations of a balding man...

[Razor X]

The thing is, if I shave my hair, everybody will see how bad my hairloss have become, I'll not be able to fool anybody anymore after that. Moreover, it will take me 6 months at least to grow it back to the state it looks now which allows me to look like I'm not practically bald.

You have to come to terms with the fact that sooner or later much, if not most, of your bare scalp is going to be visible to everybody.  You can either let Mother Nature do it for you -- and she does a slow and sloppy job, BTW -- or you can take control of the situation yourself and get it over with.  While it can be scary to go with the second approach, you'll immediately feel better when you've done it.

Most people tend to want to hang on to their hair for as long as possible but all this really does is prolong the agony.  In the long run, is it really going to matter if you get to have (some) hair for an extra year or two, especially if you've reached the point where it no longer looks very good?   There comes a point where you just have to man up and do what needs to be done. 

[Mikekoz13]

Welcome to the Forum!

Let's see...... thinning hair with Topix that you've worried about for over half your life... OR..... a nice , smooth, shaved head, no worries about bald spots or Topix, AND a LOT of women that love bald men.....not balding men.

Gee...... wonder what I would pick.

[andrew]

Jonsey,

You've gotten some great advice, but the decision is yours.   Consider the relief you'll experience after eliminating the main source of agony for you now.   While it seems like a huge step, and it is, the transition will be over quickly and then you can enjoy your freedom.  I'd be willing to bet that your luck with the ladies will only get better, too ...

Andrew

[nuts]

Jonsey

The answer is quite clear and you have really reached this decision yourself.  Shave your head now and enjoy the freedom.  Stick with the 30 day rule and you will be  new man.  You'll be fighting off the ladies.

Roger

[Vash]

The thing is, if I shave my hair, everybody will see how bad my hairloss have become, I'll not be able to fool anybody anymore after that. Moreover, it will take me 6 months at least to grow it back to the state it looks now which allows me to look like I'm not practically bald.

Hi Jonsey,

I can't help but notice that you refer, in your posts to "fooling" people about how much hair you have. "Fooling" is a gentler way of saying that you are intentionally lying to everyone around you on a daily basis. You aren't being honest with others, or yourself. That fact comes out, whether you know it or not, in everything you do. If you aren't self confident, it shows.

You are having anxiety about the state of your hair and your hair loss.

Why not be honest? You have been balding for half your life. You have committed years and years to maintaining the illusion (lie) that you are not balding. Sooner or later, nature will not give you the option of continuing to "fool" people.

You cannot control the loss of some of your hair, nature is in control of that. You are going to lose some , if not most of your hair. But you CAN be in controll of whether you have ANY hair. If you CHOOSE to take it off, them YOU are in control of your appearance. If you let nature slowly take it from you, it is LOST. Make sense?

Why be a victim of nature? Why not take control of your own appearance and literally REMOVE the lie you are showing the world day after day? Simple addition by subtraction. Rather than continuing to be a "man going bald" you can choose, like so many of us to be "a man who shaves his head".

Make this choice for yourself, not others. Who do YOU want to be? The honest, confident, happy guy with the shaved head? or the self-conscious balding guy, always worried and preoccupied with whether or not you are "fooling" people?  

I say, shave it and own it. Be confident in your choice and yourself as the master of your fate. Men and especially women say time and again that Confidence and self respect are the things that are attractive and that truly matter. You can't have much of either if you are constantly concerned that people are going to notice that you are losing your hair. You are here talking to us about it, because you want to be free of the burden that is your hair loss.  

let's say, hypothetically, that you continue "fooling" people. You meet a nice girl you like. Are you going to be able to relax, be yourself and get comfortable with the weight of your hair loss hanging over you? Or are you going to be nervous about whether or not she notices it? And even if she doesn't at first, at some point, as you get closer, she will find out about it anyway. Why not just take it off and be a bold, decisive and above all honest guy who has come to terms with the realities of nature and chosen to take control of his situation.

Shaving your head is simple, inexpensive, clean, honest answer to a problem that has been plaguing you for years.

Just my two-cents. Best of luck in whatever you choose to do.

[Slyfive]

I'd say all you need to do is look at Vash's excellent outlook above, and then the very pretty woman on his arm. The man knows who he is, and that is what is attractive to the ladies.

[Mikekoz13]

VASH!!! Spreading common sense and encouragement everywhere he goes!!!

[Jonsey]

Thanks for all your support guys, you've helped me go over the last psychological hurdle...

and I did it !!!!!!

It's not 100% shaved with a razor, but it's the closest shave I could get with my barber's hair cutting machine...

I feel like the weight of 16 (balding) years has been removed from my shoulders. I literally feel lighter when I walk outside !

Here is a "before" pic:



And here is the "after":



A question that immediately came into mind: "why haven't I done this before ?"...

First comment I received from a female coworker and friend of mine who saw the "after pic": "why on earth does a man with hair shaves his head ??", to which I elegantly replied "I'm just tired of dealing with hair", to which she replied "I wish I could shave mine too...".

Now what should I do with all the toppik and dermmatch that I have ? donate, or throw to the garbage ?

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Now what should I do with all the toppik and dermmatch that I have ? donate, or throw to the garbage ?

Don't lead any other poor guy down that path--but  it may be toxic, so take it to a toxic landfill. 
You're just a hot shower, and a new blade from total freedom.  If you feel that itch, scratch it--if you don't like it after thirty days, and that's extremely doubtful--you can grow out to a buzz in less than a week. 
Welcome to the free world!

[Jonsey]

Now what should I do with all the toppik and dermmatch that I have ? donate, or throw to the garbage ?

Don't lead any other poor guy down that path--but   it may be toxic, so take it to a toxic landfill.  

It's not funny, in the last year or so I've been coughing like crazy at nights, at least once evey two-three weeks. Last month the cough didn't stop for two weeks. I went to the doctor who said my lungs sounds good. I stopped using toppik (moved to dermmatch alone) and became better within several days. Then I started using it again and I'm coughing again for a week now !

I really hope I didn't develop some sort of lung silicosis (or asthma) from all these years of breathing toppik dust...

[BBCESQ]

I love it. It suits you. Good job. Now for 30 days.

[Jonsey]

I love it. It suits you. Good job. Now for 30 days.

Thanks for the compliment

No need for 30 days. The next time I'll be growing hair again is when they find a cheap cure for baldness (well, it won't be cheaper than a shave, that's for sure ).

[D.A.L.U.I.]

It's not funny, in the last year or so I've been coughing like crazy at nights, at least once evey two-three weeks. Last month the cough didn't stop for two weeks. I went to the doctor who said my lungs sounds good. I stopped using toppik (moved to dermmatch alone) and became better within several days. Then I started using it again and I'm coughing again for a week now !

I really hope I didn't develop some sort of lung silicosis (or asthma) from all these years of breathing toppik dust...

Whoa, sorry I sort of said that in jest--but it does make a possible connection--I was thinking more of the dye component.  Frankly I never even considered using the stuff, although I put enough hairspray on the combover to contribute to the destruction of the ozone layer!  I guess the Toppik stuff could sensitize the body over time and give an allergy type reaction.  Well, at least there's no reason to put your health and wallet at risk for that stuff anymore!  And, we have yet another good reason to take the blade.  Did you ever get caught in the rain with that stuff on your head and have it run down your face and neck?   

[Jonsey]

Did you ever get caught in the rain with that stuff on your head and have it run down your face and neck?   

Never. With toppik on the head, to be outside when it rains without an umbrella, is for me equivalent to stepping outside of a space shuttle without a spacesuit...

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Never. With toppik on the head, to be outside when it rains without an umbrella, is for me equivalent to stepping outside of a space shuttle without a spacesuit...

 

Well, that's a worry that's behind you!