Author Topic: a lad of eighteen needs support  (Read 5777 times)

Offline slider.in.the.making

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a lad of eighteen needs support
« on: February 07, 2012, 10:12:02 AM »
First and foremost, I would like to sincerely thank all of those who post on this site - I've been in the clutches of serious depression and going through the posts/stories on this site has shown me that you can be bald AND happy.

My receding hairline/general thinning was first pointed out to me last summer when I was seventeen, and since then I've become a shadow of my former self. I've become less confident, less outgoing and less sociable - and I don't want to be this guy anymore. I go to bed thinking about hair loss, I dream about hair loss, I wake up thinking about hair loss and then I spend the day thinking about hair loss.. as you may have gathered, this is not a life. I was once very optimistic about the future, and I enjoyed thinking about what my adulthood might entail.. but now I struggle to envisage happiness until I am at a 'normal' age for MPB (I'd put that at 30+). In January this year, I got the confirmation letter from Cambridge University saying that I had been accepted to study history (!).. surely this would perk me up I thought.. but no, my anxiety only increased.

I've spent the past 6 months frantically scanning the internet for anything that could sort me out, but as I'm sure you are all well aware, there is nothing.

I won't lie - I am scared to go sly  :-[ but I plan to do it in a year's time when I am travelling in India (and probably get mistaken for a monk/hare krishna LOL)


this post is intended as entrance into what seems to be a fantastic community, and one that I would like very much to be a part of - if any one of you began MPB around the same time as I have, then I'd be really grateful for some advice/consolation/slap round the face lol
« Last Edit: March 15, 2022, 07:25:34 PM by slider.in.the.making »



Offline Sir Harry

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Re: a lad of eighteen needs support
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2012, 10:57:51 AM »
First off, welcome aboard...Secondly, yes it bothers a lot of men when something that usually happens when you're older, but what can you really do? I would try a buzz first just to get used to my hair being at a shorter level. Then down the road, maybe you could go all the way. There are SEVERAL guys that are going through what you're going through and once going sly, more often than not they've been happier. Keep us posted and Good Luck!
Even when the d is removed, the devil is still evil.

Offline KDusk

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Re: a lad of eighteen needs support
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2012, 11:17:45 AM »
Welcome to the forum, slider!!!

There's a lot of us on here that started thinning at a young age. My hairline started receding right after puberty (about 18 years old) and since 2 years my hair has started thinning on top. I'm 24 now, and I've gone through all of the same emotions: waking up and going to bed with 'balding' and it dominating my social life.

I also considered taking medication to stop the hair loss, but after reading about the side effects, there was no way I was going to do THAT. I had been contemplating to shave it all off, but I was too scared to do so, until I read the posts on this forum.

Just know that it's normal for some people to feel insecure about taking it all off (like me). I've been shaving my head for about 3 months now and I like it: I am a new person, I'm more mature and I overcame my own vanity (thinking only people with hair could be beautiful, man, was I wrong). Sometimes I think about growing it back (because I did not feel like shaving that day or because I got bored), but then I give up after 4 days  ;)

From one minute to another I went from 2 inches of hair to 0. If this scares you, you can always go for the gradual approach by buzzing it shorter and shorter each time. I do advise you to hold on to the 30 Day Rule. Keep it buzzed/shaved for at least 30 days. Don't necessarily wait another year, because it will be another year of being unhappy and struggling with the of MPB.

And the best advice: don't be too hard on yourself. An experience like this will make you grow as a person and you will find your true beauty, both inside and outside. You will become a member of a new lifestyle and maybe you can help out future members too with your story.

Don't overthink it too much: staying in the same place as you are now hasn't made you happy and maybe a change will help!

And congratulations on getting accepted in Cambridge University! I hope you will enter your first day there as a proud and sly student. The world needs more people like us  8)

Offline Paul the Headblader

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Re: a lad of eighteen needs support
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2012, 11:23:58 AM »
hey and welcome!
I'm 20 and I've got hair nightmares!!! I just hate it.
shave it off and be free.
be who you are, say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter




Offline TheSlyBear

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Re: a lad of eighteen needs support
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2012, 01:23:20 PM »
Why wait? At least buzz it down for now. You will feel better.

Almost to a man, the most common reaction afterwards is "Why the hell did I wait so long?"

Offline sailor61

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Re: a lad of eighteen needs support
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2012, 01:31:21 PM »
shorter IS BETTER when it's thinning - we'll swear to that.  possibly waiting to join the sly is the right choice for you, only you know that answer, but listen to us when we say buzz it down to a crewcut and it will look immenely better IMMEDIATELY.  When you keep it long the thinning is very apparent even if you fuss at it constantly.  When it's buzzed it does it's own thing and stands up proud...the thinning is significantly obvious since the basic ideaof a buzz is to show some scalp through it. 
TJ



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isleepinthebuff

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Re: a lad of eighteen needs support
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2012, 02:08:14 PM »
I feel for you matey. Cut your hair shorter and get used to it slowly. You will build your confidence.

Losing your hair doesn;t make you any less attractive or less of a man! You will get through it!
 

Offline ycartt

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Re: a lad of eighteen needs support
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2012, 02:14:33 PM »
I agree with sleepinthebuff.  Hang in there dude!

Offline mrzed

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Re: a lad of eighteen needs support
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2012, 02:37:29 PM »
shorter IS BETTER when it's thinning - we'll swear to that.  possibly waiting to join the sly is the right choice for you, only you know that answer, but listen to us when we say buzz it down to a crewcut and it will look immenely better IMMEDIATELY.  When you keep it long the thinning is very apparent even if you fuss at it constantly.  When it's buzzed it does it's own thing and stands up proud...the thinning is significantly obvious since the basic ideaof a buzz is to show some scalp through it. 

Well said, Sailor. I agree.  Buzz, then go sly. You won't want to go back to hair, buzzed or any other way.



Offline slider.in.the.making

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Re: a lad of eighteen needs support
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2012, 03:53:42 PM »
ah wow.. such an overwhelming response in the space of a few hours  :) :) really is appreciated

- as to those who feel that I shouldn't delay with going sly, I would say that I can probably hold onto my hair for another year (if self-styled correctly lol, i know this must sound familiar to many of you). I feel that, especially at this age, I should get as much mileage as possible from my hair.. I don't feel that it is that noticeable, perhaps only to me/close friends -- my anxiety stems from thoughts of the near future, rather than self-consciousness about the present.

- I reckon that with the amount of hair I have now (perhaps even in a years time), I would be - by your standards - 'BBC'. However, thinning hair/receding hairline at this age is so out of the ordinary that its extent is amplified, and something will have to be done.

- Although I've started a little early compared to many men in my family (the vast majority of whom are fully bald, but never sly  :/O), there are some (like my mother's father) who began at the ripe old age of 14. At least I wasn't on here 4 years ago..

What is going to sound really familiar to you all is the anxieties I have about shaving my head at all:
1. I have a large forehead (even pre-recession)
2. I am pale/freckly
3. I have an ill-suited head for the job (long, egg-shaped and with a serious everest at the back)

but,, on the positive side:
1. I'm not skinny
2. I'm not short (i am 5"11)


I attach two pictures, the first is for anyone to either dispel or encourage my intention of holding onto hair for another year or so (bearing in mind that MPB at this age is v v rapid, or at least amongst those in my family), and the second is for open comment as to whether or not I would suit entrance into the sly brotherhood -- i hope I do lol..


Again, thanks for the help



Offline mrzed

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Re: a lad of eighteen needs support
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2012, 04:27:58 PM »
Slider ...

take a look at the profile pictures of the guys who have responded. Young and old. None with a lick of hair on their heads.  If you review the posts on this site, your three points come up frequently.

1. I have a large forehead (even pre-recession)
2. I am pale/freckly
3. I have an ill-suited head for the job (long, egg-shaped and with a serious everest at the back)


A. God made you the way you are.  Your head with or without hair is normal. 
B. The owner of the head usually perceives their forehead to be larger than it really is.  I have issues finding a hat that fits.  The 'one size fits all' doesn't.  Do you have an Extra Extra Large? But it think my shaved head looks pretty decent and so do many who have commented about it.

C. Pale will change over time as you have more sun exposure. Don't worry about that.

I've only been on this site for about seven months.  Just about every guy who goes through the process of shaving their head sly comes out saying the same thing. I should have done it sooner!  A few have let it grow back, and they admit their folly and shave it sly again.

This is a nice group of guys.  Plenty of support and encouragement. You might even find one near where you live.



Offline AgeTwentyTwoBaldy

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Re: a lad of eighteen needs support
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2012, 05:22:49 PM »
I'm a 22 year old college student who recently accepted the fact that I will never again have a full head of hair. I agree with the other advice thus far; shave it down with clippers, see how you like that, and then go sly if you're more daring. ;)

And if I can offer you one piece of advice... If you only remember one thing, remember this: hair is overrated.

Offline DCdome

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Re: a lad of eighteen needs support
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2012, 07:21:47 PM »
Slider,

Welcome aboard.  The guys here are giving you very good advice.  You should seriously consider following it.  The only thing I would add is that it is not a good feeling in the morning to try and comb your hair so that it covers something you are trying to hide!

Getting progressively tighter buzz cuts is probably the best path for you. 

Good luck and post often.

Offline LAGLE

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Re: a lad of eighteen needs support
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2012, 09:27:58 PM »
Hello, I'm 21, and your growth looks much like mine, i'm sure you can pull off sly!

Offline kalbo

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Re: a lad of eighteen needs support
« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2012, 11:18:42 PM »
Welcome to the bald brotherhood Slider. I am bald by choice, I can still grow a full head of hair if I want to but I chose to keep it shaved smooth because I love being shaved bald. From the pics you posted, hair loss is not that evident yet. Follow your gut and enjoy your hair while you still can. Embrace the inevitable bald world when you are ready.
Mabuhay ang mga kalbo!