now I am much more hesitant knowing that this time, once it's gone, it's not coming back. I don't plan on shaving my head right away, and possibly keeping my hair for another 6 months to a year getting my thoughts together.
At least you're headed in the right direction, but remember mpb is a continuous process, and during the next 6 months it won't stop, the hair will still fall out, on your pillow, in the brush, while you shower. So, as you wait, there's just going to be less to shave. Or, you can just do it, stop overthinking it, and spend the next 6 months planning for the future, not worrying about something you can't stop anyway. Maybe you have six months to waste! But it could be six months to start living again--think about that!