Bald Since My Teens - Need Advice!

[NotMyFather]

My hair began to fall out in clumps and I was way into the "thinning" stage by the time I was 17 yrs. old! My mother (I imagine she tho't my appearance reflected badly on her own perceived age) would write frantic, overbearing letters to me at boarding school, demanding that I not "wash my hair" insisting that the practice contributed to hair loss. Naturally I'd assure her I only washed for special occasions,  but was meanwhile washing on average twice a day - my thinning wisps were oily! and I couldn''t STAND for my head not to feel, at the very least, squeaky clean.

By the time I was 18 and sent away to college, my hair had become so thin I was matter-of-factly purchasing liquor for friends aged 17-20, and have never once in my life been carded. It would have been a compliment, just never happened.

Meanwhile mother, a career woman of above-average intelligence, never made the connection between her own father's pate and/or my fraternal grandfather's, for that matter. Both were billiard balls. But aside from her desperate harassment, no one else ever commented or complained about my appearance, at least not to my face, and I scooted from academy, thru college, into graduate school totally "in with the in crowd" and hardly a pariah for lacking shoulder-length tresses which were still in style for men at that time. Actually, when I finally started centering my social life away from campus I discovered my condition was compelling, in fact arousing, to many of the men I dated, so it became rather a non-issue and drifted to the back of my increasingly bald head.

Only recently, in my late 50s, did my (straight) roommate bring up the subject. Although the same age as I, he boasts a full, thick head of Marina del Rey-type hair (if you lived in or around Los Angeles, you'd get my drift) and even wears it rather provokingly over his ears so he can throw his head back and give it a saucy shake now and then to impress the women he dates. And as an excuse to pull on a cap or visor when he takes them out in his convertible. Anyway, so he asked "Does it ever bother you, being bald? Have you ever thought of doing anything about it?" Well, duh! I must have been distracted during the pre-conception session where my genetic make-up was being determined or I'd have perhaps chosen something more befitting to the late Farah Fawcett; however at this point, from the info I've gleaned from skimming past those "Institute for Men" ads in have-n-hold magazines, one needs a "part" of no more than 1/16th of an inch for the transformative miracle to be performed, not a "part" of ear-to-ear and growing. The thought of them wrenching thatches of hair from the sides of my head to "transplant" to the top is not one which delights me, either.

Not long ago I encountered an ex of mine and of course made plans for him to come by my home for a visit. When he did it took nearly all the self-control I could summon not to cackle aloud when I saw the militarily arranged rows of hair plugs sprouting from the front of his head, attesting to one of the saddest, most ludicrous expenditures of thousands of non-tax dollars that I've yet to encounter. At the first law firm where I was ever employed, one of the senior partners would intermittently need to excuse himself, heading for the men's room not to answer Nature's call, but to staunch the bleeding from a row of his plugs invariably caused by his habit of burying his face in his hands when under stress. So no, I've never felt underprivileged or that I'd missed the boat because I hadn't received follicle enhancement before now.

But lately I've for some reason started paying more attention to Daniel Billett's opinions in his About.com column re "Men's Fashion / Grooming" and was somewhat taken aback by his implication that thinning hair and balding only look appropriate on men with "nicely shaped skulls(!)" His remark caused me to study my own for several hours, checking the back and sides with a hand-held mirror, and the result can only be described as abject discouragement. I do not (and no one can assuage my with "well, at least you have a nice personality") have a "nicely shaped skull!"

So now what? The ubiquitous baseball cap? One of those knitted pull-over caps that gentlemen of a certain age will soon enough regret having worn rather than flaunting now what they may not have later? The About.com forum suggests I use their search feature to find the topic which pertains to me. Can anyone suggest an alternative way of typing in "poorly shaped skull"? If you can, I've probably already tried them -- and come up with "nada y mas nada."

This is starting to gouge at my comfort level, particularly since I am on the verge of "coming into money," albeit on a rather conservative unspectacular level, but enough to perhaps spruce up my wardrobe, the car I drive, and my appearance, among a few of the most necessary expenditures. Does anyone have advice for me? Mr. Billett, it appears, had none.

This is serious, guys! The shape of my head becomes daily more appalling to me, so please offer some advice. It would be cruel if I had to admit to my aged mother that I now wish I'd been born by C-section.

PS: ...and for anyone - I don't have a clue what those BBC tag icons mean, and hovering doesn't help even slightly. Can someone please unlock this mystery for me?

[Slynito]

iBienvenidos Amigo!

[Mikekoz13]

Welcome to the Forum!


BBC means Bald by Choice. Otherwise.... a guy with a full head of hair that has decided to shave it off.

I didn't read every word of your post but I got the tone of it.

Man.... you're in your 50's and you've been dealing with this for 40 years!!! Time to eliminate something from your life that has always been a problem. The great news is that it's inexpensive to do, only takes a few minutes, and you will feel like a new and free man. Grab that razor, some shave cream, and just a little courage. Take the first swipe and be on with it.

We've all heard or experienced the  "my head is shaped funny", "I won't look good", etc. lines about why not to do it. It's all bull my Friend. Take charge of this piece of your life and eliminate what in fact is a VERY small problem.

SHave, be happier, enjoy life more.......... and oh...... no baseball hats unless it is to keep your newly shaved head warm in the cold weather.

Peace-

[Acme]

Welcome.

You can't just be realizing  your head shape is weird. Surely you would have noticed  it sometime in the last 50 years. Post a picture if you want some opinions.

[Laser Man]

My advice - don't worry about the shape of your head because no one has a perfectly shaped head.  There are far more importnat issues in life to deal with than worrying about weather you have a perfect head.  Why let a columnist direct your life?  Hi opinion has no real lasting value because after all, it is just his opinion. 

It's not clear from your post whether you have shaved your head or still have some hair.  If you are thinking of shaving completely smooth, but are now concerned because of Daniel Billet's articles, my advice is to plow forward and shave your head.  You are the judge of whether you look good, not him.  And if you shave your head and like it, that's all that matters.  I'm pretty certain that if you shave your head, you will like the look and feel.

And just so you know, I am bald by choice and my head is not perfect, but I've been told by a number of people that I look really good bald.

[buddha]

This is starting to gouge at my comfort level, particularly since I am on the verge of "coming into money," albeit on a rather conservative unspectacular level, but enough to perhaps spruce up my wardrobe, the car I drive, and my appearance, among a few of the most necessary expenditures. Does anyone have advice for me? Mr. Billett, it appears, had none.

I'm a little confused by your list of the "most necessary expenditures". The problem that I see between the lines of your post is an ongoing battle of form vs function. I seriously doubt that any of our millions of unemployed would regard the items you list as necessary in terms of survival. But the fact that you consider these things as necessities indicates that you have not been in a situation where your survival depends upon a judicious allocation of your almost non-existent resources (neither have I and I sometimes forget to be thankful for that). But don't mistake what I have said to be criticism of you or your lot in life. That is not my point. I do think that you need to re-align your perception as to what is necessary and what can safely be tossed into the trash.
 
Brother, this sly thing is nothing more than a haircut. Nothing more. So you think you have an odd shaped skull based on what some guy named Daniel Billett says. This sounds like taking urban survival advice from Kim Kardashian. I wonder what this guy, Billett, would say about the shape of my skull. I do not wonder about how many nights of sleep I will lose over his opinion.

I guess what fires me up about posts like yours has to do with entities like Hair Club and Pfizer (Viagra) who so calmly prey on the vein of insecurity and fear that runs through us all AND WE ACTUALLY GO FOR IT! Brother, I am here to preach the Gospel of "Go F**k Yourself", that phrase speaking far more than just those 3 words. It needs to become ingrained as a total (or as close to total as possible) rejection of all the so-called "values" that these rank ba$tard$ purport to endorse. So what if you're wardrobe is not "spiffy"? So what if your car is not up to date with what your competition drives? And just what the hell is wrong with your "appearance"? The only thing that's wrong with any of these facets of your life is other peoples' opinions. And this is where the Gospel of "Go F**k Yourself" comes in handy. It is a ready answer for any criticism of any part of your life that is none of the detractor's business. What's that you say? I could never speak such blasphemy to a fellow human? Those fellow humans, to which I refer, have no problem goose-stepping all over your boundaries!

Organize your priorities, mi amigo. Figure out which things are truly necessary and which are nothing more than Kardashian-style glitz. Drive a 10 year old car just to shock the people in your circle. Shave your head to appall them. Wear last year's fashions to get them thinking that you've lost your freakin' mind. And when they "offer input" offer the Gospel of "Go F**k Yourself" as your rejection of that input. Then go find some new friends whose priorities are more in line with reality.

 

 

[Chavster]

I see a goat, but it smells like a salmon.

[buddha]

I see a goat, but it smells like a salmon.

 

[aarrggh]

 I like goats  ! .

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Based on your profile NotMyFather you've not been back since you posted this tale of your life. 

[Chavster]

Based on your profile NotMyFather you've not been back since you posted this tale of your life. 

He's been out, trading his mercedes in for a rolls royce.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Based on your profile NotMyFather you've not been back since you posted this tale of your life. 

He's been out, trading his mercedes in for a rolls royce.

Makes as much sense as anything else he said.